I'll Always Love You
by aslycsi1315
Summary: The team rallies together to try and help Hotch, who is struggling after Haley's death and the Reaper.Their attempt to help leads to major problems erupting between team members.
1. Chapter 1

_**It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong" when nothings right.- Unknown**_

**January 11, 2012– Quantico, Virginia**

_What the heck is going on? Did all the serial killers in the country decide to coordinate a killing spree?_ thought Supervisory Special Agent David Rossi as he leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his tired eyes and glanced up to the ceiling fan. The FBI agent had been sitting in his office for almost ten hours now, trying to catch up on paperwork from last month's cases. The Behavioral Analysis Unit, known for catching unsubs or unknown subjects, had been working overtime for the past four weeks. A serial murder in Oregon, a serial arsonist in Wisconsin, and catching a serial sniper in Texas were only a small handful of the twenty six cases the team had went through during the past month. It had put the team so busy that Rossi had not slept in his own bed in seventeen days.

Rossi glanced over to the tall stack of papers on his desk. It felt like he had not even made a dent in the pile. He looked out of his office window and watched Supervisory Special Agents Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid, and Media Liaison Jennifer "JJ" Jareau talk amongst themselves. Realizing that he needed a break, Rossi left his office and walked over to the four agents.

"Planning to make a run for it?" he joked as he approached Morgan. Prentiss looked up to him and said flatly, "Yes, that's exactly what we are doing. I have not seen my bed into two weeks and I'm about to lose my mind."

Rossi laughed nervously, "Seriously?"

"Rossi, I am tired of sleeping in hotels or on the plane. I usually don't mind them, but this past month has ruined them for me," Morgan stated. He turned his attention to Reid, who was scribbling something on his notepad. Morgan, Rossi, JJ, and Prentiss watched the youngest member of the team furiously write with his head drooping. After a minute, Reid's eyes began to close as his pen jerked off the page. He suddenly snapped his head back and looked around, confused.

"Yeah, see that's what you call a serious burnout. Are you in? Garcia knows and I even got Hotch to agree! If he's in, you know this is getting out of control." Rossi smiled and glanced over to the Unit Chief Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner's office. The team leader was deep in concentration while writing up reports.

Reid let out a yawn and asked, "Why can't we just leave?"

"Like I told you before you nodded off to sleep, boy genius," stated Morgan as he stirred his fourth cup of coffee, "Strauss is under the assumption that we are slacking off. Hotch tried to get us to leave about six hours ago, but Strauss threatened to suspend anyone who left without finishing their paperwork." Morgan shot a glare to Erin Strauss, the BAU's Section Chief, who was speaking with an agent next to the elevators. To the team, it looked like she was guarding the elevator.

Rossi winkled his nose then nodded. "I'm in," he chimed, "So how exactly are we going to do this?"

"We are going to stage a walk out," piped Technical Analyst Penelope Garcia as she approached her team mates. She dropped her purse next to Prentiss' desk allowing Prentiss to push it under her desk with her foot.

"Ok, let me grab my wallet and keys and I'll see you guys in twenty," Rossi replied. He turned to head back to his office when he saw the Unit Chief again. Hotch's usually stoic expression was mixed with exhaustion. Rossi slowly walked towards the office, analyzing Hotch. Since his ex wife was killed six weeks ago by the serial killer George Foyet, also known as the Reaper, Hotch put himself completely into his work. He pulled longer hours than usual and seemed to distant himself from everyone around him. The team took it as part of his way of grieving, but Rossi knew better. Hotch looked feeble and pale, especially within the last week. During the times he spoke to Hotch, Rossi noticed dark circles around the man's eyes and the loss of spark in his eyes. He knew Hotch was extremely depressed, which Hotch denied every time someone asked him of his well being. It worried Rossi immensely- a nagging thought in the back of his head told him that something was seriously wrong with Hotch.

Rossi took another few steps with his attention still on Hotch. The younger agent was hunching over his desk and was rubbing his forehead. Hotch suddenly lifted his head up and sat still behind his desk. Rossi watched Hotch close his eyes and wince. An agent walked in front of Rossi causing him to look away from Hotch for a moment. When he looked back up, Hotch was gone from view. _What the hell? _Rossi thought.

"Hotch?" he stated quietly as his mind started to swirl. _Please be ok._

Rossi took a step forward and now yelled, "Hotch?" It caught the attention of most of the agents in the room including Morgan, Prentiss, JJ, and Reid. Morgan walked up to Rossi and said, "What's up?"

"Something is wrong," Rossi muttered. He jogged up to Hotch's office and exclaimed, "Hotch?" Rossi knocked on the door, expecting an answer. Morgan followed him, but stopped dead in his tracks when he got a glimpse of Hotch through the office window.

"Rossi," he barked as he pointed to the window. Rossi leaned towards the window and saw Hotch. Morgan banged on the door and yelled, "Hotch!" After getting no response, Rossi grabbed the door handle and tried to open the door.

It was locked.

_Crap_, Rossi thought. He pointed to the door and ordered, "Kick it down!" to Morgan. By now, the two men had caught everyone's attention. As Morgan gave the door an unsuccessful kick, JJ ran up to Rossi and asked, "What's going on?"

Morgan took a step back then kicked the door again causing it to fall to the ground with a loud _thud_. The three agents stepped in the room and saw Hotch unconscious on the ground behind his desk. A cup of coffee was lying on the floor next to him, spilling liquid all over the carpet.

"Oh my God," JJ gasped. Morgan dashed to Hotch's side and checked his neck for a heartbeat. With a relieved expression, Morgan yelled, "He still has a pulse! Dial 911!" He gently shook Hotch, hoping that he would respond. Behind him, Prentiss, Reid, and Garcia dashed to the door. JJ was speaking to emergency responders, while trying to compose herself.

Morgan continued to shake Hotch while exclaiming, "Come on, man. Wake up, Hotch! Come on…"


	2. Chapter 2

**January 12,2012- Quantico, Virginia**

JJ sat on a small couch next to Garcia in the emergency room waiting room at Quantico Medical Center. Next to Garcia was Reid, who was asleep on her shoulder with his strap bag dangling from his hand. Rossi and Morgan had also fallen asleep, but only after major insistence from Strauss and Garcia. Prentiss was sitting in a seat across from her, slowly swirling a tea bag in a cup of hot water. She appeared to be in a deep exhaustive trance.

_I cannot believe that this is happening_, JJ thought. The scene of finding Hotch seemed to be stuck on a loop in her head as if it was a broken record. It did not make any sense to her- Hotch never mentioned any health issues to anyone on the team. Her mind suddenly wandered to a conversation that she had with Hotch the night before. The rest of the team was heading to a nearby bar after a long flight home from Oregon. JJ had invited Hotch to come, but he denied and spent the night working in his office. Along with isolating himself from the team, he seemed to lack interest in anything at all.

She felt her mind begin to blame herself. _If this had anything to do with Haley, he might have….._

"Do you think that this was self induced?"

JJ snapped out of her thoughts and looked at Prentiss, who was staring at the floor as she continued to swirl the tea bag. She repeated her question, "Do you think Hotch might have done this? You know…."

_Suicide. Just say it, Em. _

JJ swallowed and said, "I don't know. I- I- I- part of me says that he didn't. We all know Hotch; he would never just give up like that. The other part of me says that he did. She walked across the room and next to Prentiss. "As I think about it, he has been really quiet and distant lately. Along with exhaustion, he has been really pale as of late."

"I have noticed that as well. I asked Hotch if he was alright last week, but he snapped at me and told me to leave him alone. Withdrawal, bitterness, and a feeling of lonliness are all the signs of someone who is severely depressed or suicidal….." Both women nervously glanced towards Hotch's room. As if right on cue, Hotch's sister in law Jessica walked out of his room. Her eyes were fixated on the ground as she walked slowly away from the room. "Jessica?" JJ called. She watched Jessica snap out of her gaze and look to the two women.

"The doctors say that Aaron," Jessica stammered as she approached them, "is dehydrated, exhausted, and malnourished. They also found that he is anemic and I believe he has lost at least 10 pounds within the last week. Right now, they are trying to figure out if this was intentional or not and whether to admit him to the psych ward. Either way, he has not been eating or sleeping since Haley's death."

JJ nodded while trying to keep herself from crying. She reached her hand behind her and tapped Morgan on the shoulder. He stirred and glanced up to her in confusion. When he saw Jessica, he shook Rossi to wake him and called out to Reid. While the other two men woke up, a doctor approached the group with a calm expression on his face. _Either he has good news about Hotch or is trying to keep a calm expression as he tells us bad news,_ JJ thought.

The doctor put a hand on Jessica's shoulder and stated, "Ms. Brooks? We have made a decision." He watched all eight of them stare back at him, all hoping for good news. "Mr. Hotchner has just spoken to our psychologist and seemed to pass the assessment with flying colors. He claims that with the high case load you have all dealt within the last month had him burn out. With that claims, it sounds like he had put one hundred percent effort into his work and nothing into anything else."

_That sounds just like Hotch_, JJ thought. Rossi spoke up, "Doctor, you said "claimed" like you don't believe him." The doctor raised an eyebrow and retorted, "and you do?"

"No, I don't. When we found him his door was locked. It could also be a way for him to get privacy, but his demeanor within the last month tells us otherwise. He is also a profiler and knows human behavior very well. He would know exactly what to say to get out of being admitted to the psych ward. I know Aaron; the world will end before he admits that something is bothering him."

"Then, here is what I recommend what you do. Keep an eye on him as much as possible. If he makes any signs that he is getting worse and I mean anything that makes you worry, call me immediately," the doctor said, " Now if you will excuse me…" He walked over to the nurses' station where he began to look through charts.

Everyone stood where they were, lost in sad emotions until Reid spoke up, "So what exactly are we going to do?"

JJ took a few steps towards Hotch's room and sighed. She watched her boss sleep quietly in the room. Although asleep, Hotch was gripping one of the sheets tightly. It appeared as if he were lost in a nightmare.

"Here's what we are going to do," Rossi stated, which caused JJ to turn around. "We are going to act as normal as possible around Hotch. If we treat him like a child, he is going to get angry and retreat from us even more. We will need to monitor him closely; make sure he eats and sleeps, doesn't overwork himself, and doesn't do anything remotely depressing or suicidal. Don't crowd him, but still stay close."

"Will he still be able to work?" asked Reid. Next to him, Jessica rubbed her arms nervously.

"Yes, because the doctor ruled him to be psychologically fit. Unless he does something that causes a concern, no one can stop him from working," answered Prentiss.

"What about Jack?" Jessica asked, "I don't want him to see his father like this, especially this soon after his mother died. "

"Well, if you stay with Hotch for a little bit, you can monitor Jack around him. I highly doubt that Hotch would do anything depressive or suicidal around his son," Morgan finished. Jessica paused before nodding in agreement. After looking between Hotch and his team, she asked, "I have to go pick up Jack from daycare. Will you guys be staying?"

"Of course. We aren't leaving until he wakes up," chimed Morgan. He sat down on one of the couches next to Garcia and put his head in his hands. Garcia rubbed his shoulders while Rossi, Reid, and Prentiss sat back down in their seats. JJ walked passed Prentiss and approached a window. The cold January air had caused frost to build up onto the windows. She put a finger on the window and slowly drew a star. There was no reason behind the star, but JJ felt that it was appropriate. She then closed her eyes and thought, _Please be ok Hotch. We need you to be ok._


	3. Chapter 3

**January 14, 2012- Quantico Virginia**

Hotch straightened the stack of papers on his desk and sighed. It had been an incredibly long morning after Strauss demanded more reports on the previous month's cases. Along with another day of nonstop paperwork, people kept coming by his office and checking on him. The first two visits by Rossi and JJ were fine; they came in asked how he was doing and if there was anything that they could do for him then left after he declined. Unfortunately, that two turned into eleven visits by noon by the same people; Rossi, Morgan, JJ, Prentiss, Reid, Garcia, and Jessica by phone.

Hotch began to write the second part of a report of an arsonist in Utah when he was interrupted by Reid. He watched the young agent quietly enter the room and say, "Hey, Hotch. I just-"

"I'm fine, Reid," Hotch responded flatly as he turned his attention back to the reports.

"I know. We are all just concerned about you."

"Again, I'm fine."

Hotch then heard Reid's tone change to concern. He looked up to see Reid staring down at his desk. Following Reid's stare, he looked back down to see his right hand shaking. He pulled it back to his chest and covered it with his other hand. He glanced back to Reid who was still staring back anxiously.

"Reid, I'm fine," Hotch repeated. Reid opened his mouth to respond, but then decided against it. He walked back to the office entrance and out of sight. Hotch leaned back in his chair and looked out the window. He expected to see Prentiss and Reid sitting at their desks, but did not see anyone. Curious, Hotch walked out of his office and onto the ramp. Surely enough, neither Prentiss nor Reid were at their desks. Rossi was not in his office either. Hotch scanned the bullpen and thought, _Where the hell is everyone?_

In Morgan's office, Reid, Rossi, JJ, Garcia, and Prentiss sat around Morgan's desk. Garcia bit her pen cap and asked, "So Strauss seriously let him come back this early? He was discharged yesterday."

Morgan nodded and said, "Yep, but she told me to keep her updated. She doesn't want any issues happening that make it to the media."

"But is he ok?"

"Penn, the doctors say yes, but we don't agree. Haley's death and dealing with the Reaper was really tough on him," JJ replied. She was leaning against Morgan's bookshelf. Her attention was so focused on her teammates that she did not notice Hotch spotting her from the bullpen.

"I think we should say something. We can't just let him-"Reid started to say, but stopped when Prentiss stepped on his foot. He glared at Prentiss, but saw that she was now looking towards the entrance of the office. Reid turned around to see Hotch standing at the door.

"Let who do what?" Hotch stated. JJ looked towards Rossi, who she expected to say something. Garcia started to bite her pen cap again nervously while Morgan started to shuffle papers on his desk. _What do we say? _Reid thought. As if right on cue, JJ's cell phone rang in her pocket.

"Agent Jareau," she answered, "Yes, ma' am. We can meet you in the conference room in five minutes." She hung up and said, "We have another case."

**Flight to San Francisco- January 15, 2012- 6:45 am**

"How long has he been in there?" asked Reid, who was sitting next to Rossi. Morgan, who was sitting across from them, turned around in his chair and looked at the closed bathroom door on the jet.

"Fifteen minutes at least," JJ stated as she sat down next to Prentiss with a cup of coffee in her hand. Prentiss was chipping at her nail while closely watching the bathroom door. "That's way too long….Do you think he could be….." she trailed off. The five agents quickly exchanged looks before Rossi spoke up, "I'll check on him."

He walked over onto the bathroom door and knocked twice. On the second knock, the unlocked door suddenly opened. Rossi pushed foward gently to see Hotch sitting next to the toilet. His hand was covering his forehead while his eyes were closed. Rossi squeezed into the small bathroom as he inhaled the smell of vomit. There was vomit on the toilet seat and bowl.

"Aaron, what-"

"I'm fine, Dave!"

"No you aren't! Cut the crap, Aaron! Something is wrong, but you won't admit it! We all see it, which is why we have been watching you like a hawk for the past few days. You are severely depressed about Haley's death and you need help!" He watched Hotch shake his head gently while his eyes stayed closed. Annoyed, Rossi grabbed a napkin from his pocket and looked up just in time to see Hotch's hand drop from his forehead. His head drooped to the right causing Rossi to panic instantly.

Rossi quickly kneeled next to him and shook Hotch's shoulder. _Not again, Aaron. Come on! _He thought. After four shakes, Hotch's eyes fluttered open as he regained consciousness. Once his vision was under control, he looked a very worried Rossi in the eyes and said, "I'm fine. That was nothing."

Hotch received a very angry glare from Rossi. He stood up and stated, "That was not nothing. You are severely depressed and ill, Aaron; we can all see it. We just don't want you to do anything stupid. I know that you are the Unit Chief, but I'm making some rules for this trip. Number one, you will always be with someone. Number two, no going out into the field. And lastly, you will be going on medical leave and meet with a therapist after the case is done; I don't care if I have to drag you kicking and screaming out of the office. Am I clear?" He held out a hand to Hotch to help him stand up. After Rossi left the bathroom, Hotch smiled and told Rossi, "I could fire you for subordinance."

Rossi sat down next to Reid and stated, "If it keeps you alive and well, then it would be worth it."

"Ok, let's focus on the case," Hotch stated as he sat down. He opened a case folder and began to look through the photos. Deep in thought, it took Hotch awhile before he noticed that all five of his team mates were staring at him quietly. _This is ridiculous, _Hotch thought. He sat up in his chair and innocently said, "What?"

Every one exchanged glances before Reid asked, "Why was the door locked the day we found you unconscious in your office?"

"What?"

"I have worked at the BAU for seven years and I don't ever remember you locking the door. " Reid began to chew his lip as he watched Hotch glare back at him. It was not Hotch's unusual glare, but different. _I hope he is not trying to make up an excuse_, Reid thought. Hotch's look was more of anxious glare; it was if he was annoyed, but nervous at Reid's question.

"And also what just happened in the bathroom? Rossi sounded really worried there. Are you sure that you are ok, sir?" Reid continued. He started to pray that Hotch would not fire him. Reid glanced to the older members of his team, hoping someone would back him up. Morgan, Rossi, and Prentiss gave him a supportive look while JJ was looking out the window, trying not to be involved in the matter.

Hotch's eyes nervously darted between Rossi and Reid before he replied sternly, "Focus on the case."

"Ok, um. The first victim was killed by a …" After discussing details for a few minutes, Reid felt Prentiss squeeze his hand in support. He let out a sigh of relief as the thought, _I think my job just flashed before eyes, _ran across his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**January 15, 2012- San Francisco International Airport**

_I didn't think San Fran would get this hot for January_, thought Prentiss as she stepped off the Learjet. It was a warm seventy one degree day in San Francisco. The BAU had just landed early in the morning at San Francisco International Airport. Prentiss walked over to the two black FBI issued SUVs that sat at the end of the hanger and climbed into the first one. JJ and Reid were already in the SUV, with JJ in the driver's seat. JJ started the SUV and gave Reid a tired look before driving towards the police station. Morgan jumped into the driver's seat and started the vehicle. Rossi opened one of the back door and turned to see Hotch slowly approaching. He watched Hotch stagger over to the vehicle and opened his mouth to protest. Hotch spat before he could speak, " Don't. I'm ok." He climbed in and leaned his head against the window. Rossi climbed into the seat next to him and Morgan drove off to the police station.

Ten minutes into the trip, Hotch felt a wave of uneasiness pass through him. Hotch leaned over in agony which caught both Rossi's and Morgan's attention. Unknown to his team members, he had not eaten anything since the previous morning.

"Hotch?" Rossi asked as the Unit Chief kept his head down, "Morgan, pull over." As soon as the SUV came to a stop, Hotch jumped out of the vehicle and threw up on to the side of the road. Rossi stood next to him while Morgan stayed in the car. While Hotch continued to vomit, Rossi turned to see Morgan talking on the phone with his head down. _Who is he talking to? And why so secretive about it? _Rossi thought before turning his attention back to Hotch.

After a few minutes, Hotch finally stood up and wiped his mouth.

"Are you ok?" Rossi repeated. _He can't be here- we have to send him home, but how?_ Hotch nodded and crawled back in to the SUV. He scooted over to the left side of the SUV just as Morgan ended his call.

"Who were you calling?" Hotch mumbled as he leaned his head back against the headrest.

"No one important. Are you sure you can do this, Hotch?" Morgan answered back. _Don't lie to me_, he thought.

Hotch looked to Rossi and back to Morgan. " Yes, but I'll stay and help from the police station."

Morgan nodded and started up the SUV. Before pulling out into the road, he saw Rossi give him a suspicious look. _Don't worry Rossi. I know what I'm doing._

**San Francisco Police Station**

"Hey, what happened to you guys?" JJ called out when the second SUV pulled up to the side of the road. " We were starting to get worried…" She trailed off when she saw Hotch get out of the vehicle with Rossi holding on to his arm. Rossi gently pulled him towards the entrance of the police station. JJ stared at them in shock before turning her attention back to Morgan. She quickly walked over to him and asked, " Ok, what the hell happened? He looks really bad; worse than he did when we were on the plane."

"It's Hotch being Hotch. We are late because he got sick and had to throw up on the side of the road! We have to say something!" Morgan exclaimed.

"I am afraid how he's going to react. You saw the look he gave Spencer on the plane."

"We can't act like everything is fine!"

"I know. You are right. Um, ok. Here's what we are going to do. Let's get a feel for this unsub and then we all need to sit down with Hotch. One of us will have to take him to a nearby hospital or fly him home if needed. If we do this is non- confrontational manner, I think he will feel less threatened and may even agree."

Morgan glanced over to the police station before saying, " Ok. Ok, we will do that." JJ watched him stare nervously at the police station. "Derek, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing, come on let's get to work." He walked into the police station with JJ right behind him, eyeing him with suspicion. They soon entered a large conference room in the station where the San Francisco Chief of Police and their team members stood. Hotch was sitting at the end of the conference table with a file in his hand. Rossi turned to JJ and Morgan, "Reid and I are going to the morgue while you two and Prentiss will go and talk to the victim's family. It's a bit of a drive so we should head out as soon as possible."

Morgan glanced over to Hotch, who was now looking through the case file. " What about Hotch?" he whispered. Rossi motioned to the entrance of the police station. Morgan understood the hint and walked out of the conference room. He stopped and turned to Rossi. "What?"

"I spoke to two officers and the Chief. They agreed to watch him like a hawk until we come back. It should be ok. When we get back, we can move from there. One step at a time, ok?"

Morgan gave Rossi a nervous, worried look. "Yeah. I guess."


	5. Chapter 5

**January 15, 2011- Oakland, California- 20 minutes from San Francisco**

"Ok, so that was a waste of time. I can't believe the family forgot that we were coming," Prentiss growled as she climbed into the front seat of the SUV while JJ climbed into the driver's seat. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket while Morgan hopped in the back seat. Prentiss answered her phone while JJ started the vehicle and drove onto a main street towards the downtown San Francisco area.

"Hello? Hey, Rossi. Wait, I'm going to put you and Reid on speaker phone," she answered. Prentiss pushed the speaker phone and held the phone between the two front seats where all three agents could hear Rossi.

"Hey, so we need to figure out what to do about Hotch," Rossi stated. "We have to get him home without him feeling like we are bossing him around. "

"Is there any way we could call Jessica and see if she could talk him into it?" Reid asked.

"No, that will still upset him. He doesn't want anyone to think that he is weak, especially Jack," Prentiss stated with a nod from JJ.

JJ turned the SUV on to a side street and said, "I think he knows that we are concerned about him, but Hotch won't admit. I actually don't think his depression has to do with just Haley's death alone- I think it involves Foyet as well. Foyet tortured him not just with the stabbing, but mentally as well."

"Yeah, back when he was in the hospital after Foyet stabbed him, I asked him if he wanted to talk about what had happened and he told me that he didn't remember much. But the look on his face told me that he was lying," Prentiss added. "Did he talk to you about it, Rossi?"

"No. I have tried to ask him about, but he got incredibly defensive towards me."

"Alright, enough. Here is what we are going to do," dictated JJ, "when we get back to the police station, we _calmly_ tell Hotch that we need to have a team meeting. We then _calmly_ tell him that we are concerned about his health and that he needs to go to a hospital or go home. If he denies anything, we will _calmly_ try and talk him into leaving."

_That won't work- he's stubborn,_ Morgan thought. "What if that doesn't work?"

Prentiss glanced up and eyed him suspiciously, "What do you mean?" Almost immediately after, Reid added, "What are you suggesting?"

"Hotch isn't going to back down even with all five of us begging him to leave. He didn't stay home for long after he ended up in the hospital four days ago. He only took a month off after Foyet stabbed him nine times!"

"Yeah, but if we walk in and scream and yell, he might out of his dark mood fire all of us for subordination and I don't know about you, but I really like my job!" Prentiss exclaimed.

"Never mind," Morgan snapped and turned his attention back to the window. JJ shot a quick glance to Morgan. _What are you hiding from us, Derek….. _she wondered.

Back at the police station, Hotch stretched his arms out after looking through four boxes of evidence.

"Agent Hotchner?" a young police officer called from the conference room entrance.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" Hotch answered. A stomach pain suddenly hit him, causing the agent to grimace in pain.

"Are you ok?" the young officer asked in a worried tone. Hotch forced his usual stoic expression back onto his face. "Yes, I'm ok. What do you need?"

"Well, Agent Rossi told me that at 4:00, I need to make sure that you take a break and get something to eat. There is a Subway next door. "

"No, I'm ok. I'll just grab something from the vending machine." Suddenly the thought- _You don't deserve anything, Aaron. You don't deserve your job, your son, or the team. You should have let Foyet kill you when he had the chance….._- flashed through Hotch's mind.

The young officer watched a fearful expression spread onto the agent's face. "Agent Rossi told me not to take no for an answer." When Hotch did not move or reply, the officer slowly approached Hotch watching the fear grow in the agent's eyes.

In Hotch's mind, it seemed as if an angry voice had taken over his mind_. Worthless! Haley deserved so much better than you! You shouldn't have to right to even see your son._

"Agent Hotchner?" The young officer touched Hotch's shoulder. It was if the man had fallen into a trance. He gently shook Hotch's shoulder, which caused the agent to nearly jump out of his seat. "What…what?" Hotch panted as he slowly gained awareness of his surroundings.

"Agent Hotchner, do you want me to get some help?" the officer asked. Hotch brushed away the sweat from his brow and gasped, "I'm ok. Um….I-I'm…ok. You were saying about food?"

"Sir, do you want me to get help? You look really sick."

"No….I'm- just give me a minute." Hotch buried his head in his hands while the officer stepped back allowing him some room. Hotch felt like screaming, but felt like his tongue was tied in a knot. He felt his chest tighten as he thought- _I don't know if I can do this anymore…_


	6. Chapter 6

**January 14,2012 -Two Hours Later- San Francisco, California**

Rossi stepped out of the SUV and entered the police station with a quiet Reid trailing him. While lost in his worrying about Hotch, Rossi had snapped at Reid on the drive back from the morgue. It was not intentional- it was just not the time for facts about the hills of San Francisco.

Rossi stepped into the police station before the young officer he had put to watch Hotch ran to his side. "Agent Rossi," the young officer replied, "Agent Hotchner isn't doing so hot. I got him to eat, but only after he had some kind of panic attack." Rossi glanced over to Hotch, who was sitting in the conference room with his attention into a book. He heard JJ, Prentiss, and Morgan walk in behind him before turning to his team members and saying, " If we are going to do this, we need to do this now."

In the conference room, Hotch flipped to the next page of his book before hearing the conference room door open and close. He looked up to see all five agents standing across from him with sad looks on their faces.

"Hotch, we need to-" Rossi started to say but was cut off by Prentiss exclaiming, " Whoa." The team turned their attention to the police station entrance where they saw something shocking

Section Chief Strauss was standing next to the chief of police with an unhappy look on her face. The Chief suddenly pointed towards the conference room which caused Strauss to walk towards them. She opened the door and greeted flatly, "Agent Hotchner."

As Strauss closed the door, Prentiss , Reid, and JJ stepped back into a corner of the room while Rossi sat down at the table, as close as he could get to the door. Morgan leaned against the window and crossed his arms.

Strauss placed her purse on the table and stated, "One of your team members has expressed concerns about your ability to handle your duties as an FBI agent and the leader of this team. These concerns revolve mainly around your health and the incident from a few days ago." Hotch continued his stare at Strauss with his mind racing. _Someone went over my head and called Strauss? _He thought.

"With those factors in mind, I am here to escort you back to Quantico," Strauss continued, " You will not be allowed to work on any active cases until I find that you are suitable to do so. Also, you are no longer Unit Chief of this team. I would expect someone of a leadership position to deal with your current situation in a more professional way."

"Might I ask who called you?" Hotch responded. He felt a mixed emotion of anger, confusion, and worry. He had just lost Haley and now he was near losing his job. If Jessica took away Jack, there would be nothing else left for him to fight for.

"I did," Morgan stated. Hotch turned to see Morgan returning a dark expression. _Morgan! Why would he…._

"Yes, Agent Morgan and I had spoken about this matter before you left for San Francisco. I told him to keep me updated, which he did. I decided to come after he called me twenty minutes after you all landed at San Francisco Airport. I came as soon as I could. While you will return with me to Quantico, Agent Morgan will become Unit Chief until further notice," Strauss concluded. She picked up her bag and waved Hotch over, "Agent Hotchner, we need to leave."

Hotch wavered before looking to his teammates. All of them looked confused and sad for his departure. He tried to compose himself to hide his true emotions. He was known for being able to hide his emotions, but as of late, had failed at that. Hotch relaxed his shoulders before agreeing weakly, "Ok."

Morgan watched Strauss and Hotch exit the police station before turning to his team. He had no doubts in his decision to call Strauss; Hotch needed help. _The team should understand, _he thought as he picked up autopsy photos off the table.

"Prentiss?" Morgan called out to the dark haired agent. She let out an angry gasp before turning to Morgan and exclaiming, "You called Strauss?"

Rossi also exclaimed, "What the hell was that?"

Morgan put up his hands in defense. "I know you guys are mad-"

Prentiss took a step towards Morgan. "Your damn right we are mad! How could you do that, Derek? Did you even bother to talk to Hotch about this or did you want her to show up and intentionally make Hotch look like an incompetent four year old?"

Spencer turned to Prentiss and said, "Technically, it was a good move. Hotch is physically and psychologically ill and-"

Prentiss and Rossi gave Reid a dirty look and yelled, "Shut up, Reid!"

Morgan retaliated by yelling, "Hey, don't tell him to shut up! And watch what you say to me, I'm the unit chief now!"

"Or what," challenged Rossi, "Are you going to send us home as well?"

"Enough!" yelled JJ. She stepped in between the three angry agents. "We need to stop acting like four year olds and get back to the case! We all have had a rough week and I don't know about you, but I haven't slept much this week either. Hotch will be fine and hopefully will get help once he lands in Quantico. In the meantime, we need to focus on completing the profile and worry about Hotch later. Ok?"

Morgan and Rossi glared at each other before both agents sat down, still angry. Prentiss walked around to the other side of the table and sat down. JJ sighed and pulled up her webcam to call Garcia regarding any connection the victims had with Seaside Park, where the killer had buried all of his victims' bodies.

"The princess and seeker of all that is good and dandy, how can I help you?" answered Garcia, "Wait, what's with Debbie downer mood you all have?" JJ sat on the table near the computer screen. "Garcia, you haven't heard about what happened to Hotch?"

JJ watched the technical analyst drop her pen and whisper, "Oh no, no, no. He couldn't-"

"No, Penn," Prentiss blurted out, "Morgan went behind all of our backs and called Strauss. She's flying him home to be on desk duty." Morgan shot her an angry glare, which he returned almost immediately.

"What….so who's in charge?"

"Morgan."

"Ok, I actually think that was a good move. It might be better if he's here and not out on the road with disturbing dark serial killers. I don't want that to spread to him."

Reid leaned over to get a good look of Garcia on the computer screen. He chanted, "First, there is an inaccuracy on the statement. The desire to kill is not a contagious thing. Second, can you look up any connections the victims had to Seaside Park? It's popular for hikers, runners, and bikers. All of our victims were all athletic. Since we found them all in the park, we think he may stalk out his victims there."

"Yes, I can….it will take me a few minutes. I will call you back and I want all of you home safe and in happy moods!" Garcia piped. JJ smiled and said, "Thanks Penelope," before turning off the webcam.

JJ glanced up to her teammates , who were now talking amongst themselves. Morgan walked over to her and watched her cross her arms.

"JJ, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it."

"We were supposed to do this together, Derek. God, Hotch must feel terrible now. Why did you do that? And what did she mean by someone saying he can't even do his job as an FBI agent? You know he isn't going to take this lightly. I mean it's good that he's on his way home, but this is still bad, Derek."

"I know, but this is for the best."

"It's like you didn't even consider-"

"His feelings? Do you honestly think I did this out of spite?"

"No, Derek. I-"

"Don't you ever think that I would do something like this out of spite. Ok?" Morgan snapped.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. " JJ rubbed her shoulders as Morgan leaned against the table next to her and sighed. The tension she felt between him was growing and giving her the idea that this was the beginning of a long uphill battle.


	7. Chapter 7

**January 14, 2012- San Francisco International Airport**

Hotch leaned his head against the head rest on the Learjet and closed his eyes. _This can't be happening_, he thought, _at least not like this_. He was embarrassed at Strauss coming to get him like she was his mother. Doing it in front of his team members only made it worst. It destroyed him that he had lost control; control of his emotions, actions, and thoughts.

Strauss put her bag under her chair before sitting down next to Hotch. She watched the fear and frustration on his face before saying, "Aaron, this is not a punishment. This is being done because it would be best for you and your team." She reached over to squeeze his hand for support, but Hotch retreated his hand before she could. Hotch's stoic look disappeared and was replaced by teary eyes as he stared intently out the window. Strauss watched the man struggle to keep his composure before she squeezed his shoulder as the plane took off towards Quantico.

**San Francisco Police Station**

"Hey, Garcia. Anything on the connections to Seaside Park?" Reid asked the technical analyst through a webcam. Garcia returned the question with an angry glare.

"Getting that information is like finding a needle under a million haystack, sweetie. Hey, where is everyone?"

Reid began to chew his lip. "Well, Prentiss and Rossi went to go get some air. JJ is setting up a press conference with the chief of police. Morgan, well, I don't know what he is doing. We broke into a fight right before we called you so things are a little tense."

"What was the fight about?"

"I think Prentiss, JJ, and Rossi feel that Morgan betrayed Hotch by calling Strauss without talking to Hotch first. I feel that it was a good choice; he would have shut us all down if we went to talk to him like planned. I do feel that it was kind of abrupt. Strauss just showed and started reprimanding him. It was like she was his mom and he misbehaved. "

"He must be horrified. His job is his life," Garcia said. A beep came from one of her computer screens. "Ah, my little genius this is your lucky day. I just found that all of the victims had a membership at a gym located next to Seaside Park "

"Ok, thanks. That helps a lot."

Outside, Morgan sat on one of the steps leading to the police station. He needed a few minutes alone to deal with the day's events. Prentiss and Rossi were extremely angry with him to the point of not speaking to him. Receiving the Unit Chief Job was something he had not expected; Strauss never discussed it with him on the phone.

After watching a few cars pass, his cell phone rang. He saw that it was Strauss and answered, "Ma 'am."

"Hello, Agent Morgan. I was just calling to get an update on the status of your team."

Morgan took of his sunglasses and sighed. "Some feel that I made the right decision, but some are extremely angry with my actions. "

"Well that's to be expected, Agent Morgan. You have had a rough week. I chose you to be the Unit Chief because I believed that you would be able to deal with what has been going on with Agent Hotchner."

"Thank you, ma am. How is he?"

"He's clearly upset. He did not say anything the entire flight. Miss Garcia will be staying with him tonight. "

"Ok, that means he is in good hands. I also wanted to thank you for making the trip to San Francisco, ma am."

"No need. It had to be done. Good night, Agent Morgan."

"Good night ma am," Morgan stated as he heard Strauss hang up. He glanced down to his watch to see that it was seven o clock in San Francisco, meaning it was ten o clock in Quantico. _We all need a break, _Morgan thought as Prentiss and Rossi approached him, each with a cup of coffee in their hands.

"Meet me in the conference in five minutes," he instructed the two agents. Morgan immediately turned to go find JJ and Reid and hoped for a peaceful meeting.

After he found JJ, Morgan walked into the conference room to see Rossi, Prentiss, and Reid standing around a conference table. Morgan closed the door and said, "Ok, we all have had a rough day and we barely got anywhere on the case. I'm sending everyone back to the hotel to get some rest. We will all meet up in the morning around six. Any questions?" After a few seconds of silence, Morgan nodded in agreement and began to collect up his stuff. The other agents soon followed, allowing each to finally get an end of a very stressful day.

**Quantico Virginia**

"Sir, is there anything else you need me to do?" Garcia asked. She stood in the living room of Hotch's apartment. Hotch quietly stood by his bedroom door and nodded no. Garcia watched him then close the door silently. She had never seen him so upset in her six years at the BAU. He had not said a word to anyone since he had arrived home in Quantico. To Garcia, Hotch's somber expression and bitter silence was not a good sign.

_Don't let me out of your sight! The Door!_ Garcia thought. She darted over to the door and knocked on it gently. When Hotch did not respond back, Garcia turned the knob and opened the door. She found him sitting at the edge of his bed with his go bag still in his hand. Garcia slowly walked over to him and said, "Hotch?"

Hotch looked up to her and said, "Yes Penelope?"

"Are you ok?" She sat down next to him and gently placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah…I'm ok. Don't worry about me." Garcia could feel his arm trembling. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered, "Too late, sweetie."

An hour later, Garcia was lying on her back on the bed in the guestroom. She knew she probably would not fall asleep any time soon as she was worrying immensely about Hotch. With her headphones on, she started to hum to the music with her eyes closed. She made it through the second verse before she heard Hotch scream from his bedroom.

Garcia shot out of the bed and darted into Hotch's room. He was lying on his back with his right fist balled up. Hotch let out gasps of air as he gripped the sheets with his left hand. Garcia ran to his bedside and exclaimed, "Hotch!" She shook his shoulder. "Hotch! Aaron! Aaron!"

Hotch suddenly opened his eyes and looked at Garcia. As he tried to slow his breathing down, Garcia watched him reach for the scars where the Reaper stabbed him nine times. _The reaper_! flashed across Garcia's mind, _Oh God, he's burning up as well._

"Hey, you're ok! It was just a nightmare," she told Hotch, who was starting to calm down. She sat down at the edge of the bed and said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Hotch sternly answered. _He is putting up his walls again_, Garcia thought.

"Do you need me to do anything?" Garcia expected him to decline like he always did, but was shocked when Hotch squeaked, "Stay with me."

Garcia smiled and pulled up the chair from his desk to the side of his bed. "Ok, I'll be right here."


	8. Chapter 8

**January 14, 2012- San Francisco, CA- Hotel Vitale- **

JJ dropped her go-bag on her hotel room floor , let out a tired sigh, and looked to the bed, centered in the middle of the room. The queen size bed looked so welcoming and soft, but the agent felt as if she were glued to the floor. _I can't hold this in any longer_; she thought_, I need to talk to someone_. After a few minutes, JJ left the room and walked down the long hallway towards Prentiss' room.

JJ gently knocked on the door and heard, "It's open." JJ pushed the door open and found Prentiss sitting on her bed with her bag next to her. Prentiss looked up to JJ and said, "It's sad when Egyptian cotton sheets and a queen size bed aren't appealing right now."

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep. I just-"JJ bit her and felt tears begin to form in her eyes. Prentiss gave JJ a concerned look before patting a spot on the bed next to her. With a hand on her small gold necklace, JJ reluctantly sat down next to Prentiss.

"I have only told one other person on the team about this and it was Hotch," she stated, "I have been so scared for him because…..my sister."

"What happened?"

"My sister committed suicide when I was eleven. The last time my sister and I spoke, she gave me this necklace. I was too young to understand it, but now that I know the signs…Hotch's behavior…I don't want to live through that again."

"JJ, he's being watched like a hawk. Jessica is going to get him help and…..he won't do that."

JJ let out a whimper and bowed her head. "I know, but a part of me feels like we are going to lose him. Emily, I can't-"

"Jennifer, he will be ok. We just need to get through this case then we can go home and try to help him."

JJ wiped her eyes and smiled at Prentiss. "I know; I just can't live through it again. It frightens me."

"Well, you have been the strongest one out of all of us today, which is impressive with what happened to your sister."

JJ chucked, "Thanks, Em." Prentiss laughed and looked over to the mini fridge next to the TV. "Hey, I know that I probably won't be able to sleep much tonight and was planning on picking up some Rocky Road ice cream from the Walgreens that is down the street…."

"Ice cream and a movie?"

"There is a Sex in the City marathon on channel 11!" Prentiss exclaimed. JJ chuckled, " I'm in."

**January 15, 2012- Quantico, Virginia- **

_Buzz, Buzz._

"Huh? What the-"Garcia mumbled as she sat up in the chair. She yawned as she began to search for her phone. Hotch was sitting in the living room, searching through a stack of old case files. Garcia found her phone, shot Hotch a worried glance, and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Morning, princess," Morgan said. Garcia rolled her eyes and looked for the clock. "Chocolate thunder, why are you calling me at 9 in the morning? Isn't it 6 am over on the West Coast right now?"

"Yeah, I was up and I wanted to check in on you and Hotch."

"I'm fine, but Hotch not so much, "she lowered her voice, "He had a really bad nightmare last night so sat I with him for a few hours. I must have eventually fallen asleep- I don't know if he ever went back to bed. He also had a fever so I tried to get him to take something, but he refused. I had to threaten to call Jessica before he finally took something. I tried getting him to talk, but Hotch being…Hotch shut me down. He did ask me to sit with him after he woke so that's an achievement right there."

"I see…did he say anything much about what happened in San Francisco?"

"He didn't say anything to anyone until Strauss dropped him off. Should I call Jessica or Strauss or…." She leaned over and saw the pale, somber expression on Hotch's face, "the psych ward? He's really not doing well, Derek."

"Um, go ahead and give Jessica a call. We need to keep her updated. I also think that she was going to bring Jack over today, but that may not be the best idea right now. "

"Ok, I will do that as soon that as soon as possible. How's the team?"

"Rossi and Prentiss are still pissed, Reid is siding with me, and JJ is playing nice, but I think she is angry with me as well."

"Ok, any more fights since we last spoke? "

"I haven't spoken to anyone since about 8 last night. I just hope we can have a good day and catch the unsub. "

"Me, too. Be safe, my sexy captain."

Morgan chuckled, "Will do, Penelope. Will do."

Garcia hung up and walked over to the living room. Hotch was flipping through a six week old file, but stopped as soon as she entered the room.

"Did you eat?" Garcia squeaked. Hotch blinked and mumbled, "A little."

"My version of little or your version of little?" It was weird for Garcia to challenge her boss.

"Garcia-"

"Hotch, you had a fever and barely slept. You know what? I'm calling Strauss and letting her know that we are staying home. All I need is my laptop and I'm good on helping the team."

"Garcia, I'm fine! I can go to work-"

"NO!" Garcia yelled. She glared at Hotch, who was glaring back at her. No matter how intimidating he was at times, she was going to hold her ground. Hotch glared at her a few seconds before a wave dizziness hit him. It was the worst of the many waves he had felt within the past week; it was so bad that it made him want to fall to his knees.

Hotch winced before sitting down on the couch. Garcia quickly approached him as he put his head between his knees. "You win, "he muttered. Garcia nodded and said, "Ok." I'll make you some tea."

_I don't deserve this, _Hotch though as he fought nausea, _They shouldn't waste my on me. _ He blinked a few times before a photo of Haley and Jack caught his eye. He looked at the photo before thinking, _I'm so sorry, Haley. It should have been me instead of you…._

**San Francisco**

JJ walked into the conference room and sat next to Rossi, who was leaning back in his chair with a sleepy look on his face. Prentiss was sitting on one side of Rossi while Reid was sitting on the other side of JJ. Morgan entered a minute after her and dropped a case file at the other end of the table. He put his hands on the table and asked, "Did anyone get any rest?"

"I tried," Rossi said, "I think I got maybe two hours total."

Reid nodded. "I slept for about three hours and read when I couldn't sleep." He looked over to Prentiss and JJ and asked, "How about you guys?"

"After drowning our sorrows in a quart of ice cream, I would say about three hours" Prentiss answered.

"The point of last night was to get some rest. Did you two even try?"Morgan, who had not gotten any sleep, snapped.

"What kind of question is that? Of course we tried!"JJ snapped back, the irritability from her lack of sleep taking over.

"Hey, eating ice cream doesn't sound like trying to me," Reid interjected.

Prentiss glared at him and exclaimed, "Reid! What-"

Rossi interrupted and exclaimed, "Enough!" instantly quieting Prentiss, JJ, and Reid. Morgan sighed and calmly stated, "We need to focus on the case and catching the unsub. Prentiss, Rossi, JJ; I know you are all extremely angry with me, but you need to put that on hold until after the case. We can argue, yell, fight, and kill each other on the flight home. Ok?"

**Quantico**

A few hours later, Garcia stepped into the guestroom and closed the door. After arguing with Hotch for an hour prior, he finally agreed to take a break from paperwork and take a nap. It was one of the many struggles they had endured throughout the morning. She pulled out her phone and dialed Jessica's number.

"Hey, it's me, Penelope Garcia."

"Hey, Penelope. I am just about to bring Jack over," Jessica piped.

"Yeah, about that….. I have had to fight with him to do anything. It's like he wants to wither away to nothing. I don't think bringing Jack over today would be a good idea….."

"Ok, um…I have actually been thinking about taking temporary custody away from Aaron. I know it will hurt him, but I really think Jack needs stability right now. I will hand back the reins when Aaron is stronger."

"I actually think that might make things worse-"

"Penn, I will let him see his son of course, but Jack's mother just died and he needs stability. How about I come over with Jack and talk with Aaron? You can take Jack out for ice cream while Aaron and I talk."

"Ok, I guess we could that," Garcia answered. She suddenly heard noise come from the living room. "Jess, I think he's up. So I will see you in twenty minutes?"

"Yep, see you soon," Jessica said before she hung up. Garcia slipped her phone in her pocket before cautiously approaching the living room. Hotch was standing in the kitchen with his hand shaking. A mug was shattered across the kitchen floor as if it had been dropped. Hotch looked up to Garcia with an embarrassed and upset look on his face.

"Garcia, I- I- I don't know what happened….it was...it was…"

"Hotch, its ok! Don't worry about it," Garcia assured as she walked over to the linen closet to grab a broom. She walked over to him and gently touched his arm.

"Go sit….it's ok! " Garcia repeated. Hotch hesitated then sat down on one of the silver counter stools. He sighed as Garcia swept the shards of the broken mug.

"Penelope, I want to apologize for my actions this morning and last night. I was extremely disrespectful and I am sorry. I know all you were doing was trying to help me," Hotch apologized. He watched the technical analyst dump the shards into a trash can before she walked back over to Hotch.

"It's ok, Hotch," Garcia whispered, "I know this must be frustrating for you, but try and remember that we don't think any different of you. I'm a little upset you didn't come to me, but that's because I would go straight to you if I ever found myself in such a dark spot. "

"I know." Both gave each other an encouraging look before Garcia piped, "Jack and Jessica are coming."

Garcia spotted a little sparkle return to Hotch's eyes. "That's excellent."

"In the meantime, everyone else on the team has tried my double Hersey- double marshmallow hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies except for you. Are you up for it?" She gave Hotch a hopeful smile.

Hotch looked down at the counter before saying, "Ok."

"Excellent!" Garcia grabbed an apron and got to work.


	9. Chapter 9

**January 15, 2012- Quantico**

"You're right, Penelope. This is excellent," Hotch stated after he took a sip of the hot chocolate Garcia had just made. He was not lying to her; it was absolutely delicious. The technical analyst giggled in glee. "I told you, Hotch. Everyone loves my hot chocolate."

"What's in it?"

"Ah, my dear. A magician never reveals her secrets," Garcia laughed as she put her mug in the kitchen sink. She suddenly heard a knock on the door, which caught both of their attentions. Hotch hesitantly gave her a smile as he suddenly became very nervous of seeing Jack. Garcia walked over and opened the door, allowing Jack to sprint into the apartment towards his father.

"Daddy!" the little boy exclaimed. Jessica rushed in after him and exclaimed, "Jack, remember what I said about your father!"

Jack stopped in his tracks and held out his arms to his father. Hotch leaned over and struggled to pick up his son with the thought _I can't even pick up my own child_ running through his mind. Garcia watched Jessica gasp in horror as she watched an exhausted Hotch listen to Jack ramble about a boy that lived down the street from Jessica.

"Penelope?" Jessica whispered. Garcia turned to her and spotted a stack of official documents sticking from Jessica's purse.

"You already set it up," Garcia gasped, feeling her heart drop.

"He's my nephew and I have to do what's best for him. I called my lawyer after Aaron's trip to the hospital and he started to work at getting me temporary custody of Jack. I need Aaron to sign a few things to make me Jack's guardian until he gets better."

Garcia glanced over to Hotch. "Tell him now."

Hotch looked up with confusion in his eyes. Jack leaned back on to his father's chest and smiled. "Tell me what?" Hotch asked.

Jessica sighed, "Aaron, we need to talk. Jack, sweetie, I know we just got here, but why don't you go across the street with Auntie Penelope and get some ice cream while your daddy and I have a talk. I promise that you can have lots of fun with your daddy after. Ok?"

Jack sadly nodded and slid off of Hotch's lap. Garcia held out her hand to him and said, "Come on, little guy. We can get an ice cream cone that is so tall it can reach the roof!"

"Really? Okee dokes, Auntie Penny!" Jack exclaimed. He pulled Garcia towards the door, allowing her enough time to grab her jacket and her purse. Jack suddenly took off down the hallway and screamed, "Ice cream!" Garcia hurried after him exclaiming, "Slow down, Jack!"

After watching Garcia and Jack disappear down the hallway, Jessica turned and faced her brother in law. His dark demeanor frightened her greatly. She approached him, watching him carefully until he asked, "You are going to take Jack away from me, aren't you?"

"I'm so sorry, Aaron. You can't handle him right now," she whimpered, "He needs a stable environment right now and you can't give him that." She expected him to argue back, but received no emotional response from him.

_Come on, Aaron. Fight me on this_, she thought, _this is your son._

"I understand," he answered quietly. Jessica walked over and sat on the stool next to him.

"Aaron?" she called out. He did not respond as his eyes fell on to a photograph of Haley and Jack. Jessica put a hand on his cheek and felt a tear run down her face.

Ten minutes later, Garcia entered the apartment with a bouncy Jack finishing his scoop of ice cream. She found Jessica and Hotch sitting next to each other near the kitchen island. Hotch was staring at a spot on the ground while Jessica was rubbing his arm and wiping away tears from her face.

Jack held out his ice cream cone toward Jessica and Hotch. "I got choc-ate with spri-kles!"

Jessica suddenly stood up, wiped her face, and stated, "Jack, we actually need to go-"

"Wha-, but Auntie you promised-"

"I know, sweetie, but your Daddy is sick and actually needs his rest so he can get better," Jessica stated. She picked him up and said, "Say bye to Daddy."

"Bye Daddy," Jack said. Hotch kissed him on the forehead and sadly said, "Bye, Jack."

Jack continued to wave to Hotch as Jessica picked up her purse and carried him out of the apartment. After a moment of silence, Garcia turned to Hotch and said, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. I'm just going to go take a nap," he stated. He walked over to his bedroom door as Garcia sat down on the couch. She settled back into the pillow and called out, "I'll be here if you need me."

Hotch nodded, "Thanks, Penelope," and closed the door. Garcia nervously bit her lip and opened her computer screen to call the team.

**San Francisco **

JJ was half listening to Reid when Garcia suddenly appeared on her laptop via webcam. JJ turned in her chair and faced the computer screen while asking, "Penn, did something happen?" JJ suddenly felt her team mates crowd around her and the laptop.

"No, nothing happened. I mean, I guess Hotch is in a really really dark place so I called Jessica. I gave her an update and now….she wants...to…take...custody of Jack away from Hotch." Garcia felt herself shrink in her seat as Prentiss exclaimed, "She wants to do what?"

In a very small voice, Garcia repeated, "She wants temporary custody of Jack until Hotch gets better."

Morgan threw up his hands in the air in annoyance. "Baby girl, why did you that?"

"Derek, that's what you told me to do!"

"I told you to keep her updated, not have her try and take Jack away!"

"I didn't tell her to-"Garcia stated, but was caught off by Rossi who said, "Ok, Garcia. What exactly happened?"

"She spoke to her lawyers and is in the process of getting temporary custody of Jack. She was just over here to get Hotch to sign over Jack and he did it with no fuss."

JJ leaned against the table and said, "Loss of interest- this is bad. Garcia, where is he?"

"He just went to take a nap."

"Ok, you have to watch him carefully. Ok?"

"Don't worry; I will."

Reid finally spoke up, "I think removing Jack is a good idea. His mom just died and now his dad is falling apart. Maybe sometime away…."

"So now he has nothing. Why would you say that, Reid?" JJ barked.

" I think that's the best way to go and that's my position. Hey, it's something! This just proves Morgan was right to send Hotch home."

Prentiss jumped in, "He didn't send Hotch home. He called Strauss to _drag_ him home-"

"It was the right thing! We shouldn't have even let him on the plane here!"

JJ narrowed her eyes at Reid, " In case you didn't notice, he was our boss at the time and I personally didn't want to get fired. "

"The doctors should have done something," Morgan added. Outside the conference room, their argument was beginning to draw attention from police officers.

" They did; they ran a psych exam and he passed it," Rossi stated.

"He's a profiler, Rossi. He found a way around it. Your plan of just hanging around and acting like everything is ok, is working excellent by the way," Morgan retorted sarcastically.

"Hey, I came up with something. I didn't go tattle to Strauss without having the balls to step up and say something to Hotch!"

"Watch your tone, I am your boss now-"

"Guys, stop it!" Garcia yelled. All of the agents looked at her in surprise; rarely did Garcia raise her voice like that. "Focus on the case so you can come home!"

JJ sighed and gave Reid a glare. "If you need me, I will be setting up a press conference with the Chief."

After JJ left, Morgan took a breath and looked at Reid and Rossi. He said, "Reid, go help the Chief and JJ set up a press conference. Rossi, Prentiss, and I will relook through everything; there has got to be something that we missed." He turned to Garcia and said, "Make sure nothing else bad happens, ok?" He clicked off the webcam before she could answer and let out an exhausted, annoyed sigh.

Back in Quantico, Garcia closed her computer screen and closed her eyes. She did not expect to be yelled at like that- she was only the messenger. Garcia grabbed the closest pillow, wrapped her arms around it for comfort, and turned on the TV. She fought off exhaustion for thirty minutes before finally falling asleep with her head on the pillow.

**San Francisco**

JJ slammed a stack of papers onto a table and put her head in her hands. She let out an annoyed sigh when she heard, "Rough night?"

JJ turned to see the Chief holding two cups of coffee. "We could hear the yelling from the entrance of the station. I take that you guys are having a bit of a rough week, I take it?"

JJ watched Reid sit down across from her and said, "No, well- it's not going well, but…..we need to focus on the case, catch the guy, and go home."

The chief placed the cups of coffee onto the table in front of J and JJJ and asked, "When was the last time that you both slept?"

"A full night?"

"Um, yeah….."

"About a month ago. The BAU has had us moving so fast within the last month that I have barely slept. I haven't seen my son in over a week! Now, the team is falling apart," JJ picked up the coffee, "…don't worry about us. We all are just having a bad few weeks."

"I see. Is Agent Hotchner ok?"

JJ swallowed. "He's recovering. He should be back to his old self soon." As the Chief nodded and turned away, JJ closed her eyes and prayed. _Please don't do anything stupid, Hotch._

**Quantico, Virginia- Two Hours later**

"Oh, huh?" gasped Garcia as she sat up on the couch. Her phone was vibrating on the table in front of her. She reached over, grabbed it, and answered, "Hello?"

"Hey, Penelope. It's me," stated Prentiss. Garcia rubbed her eyes and said, "Hey….hey Emily."

"How's Hotch?" Garcia looked around the empty living room and kitchen and muttered, "Ummm…. Still taking a nap, I think I think I nodded off a little after we last spoke. How's everyone?"

"Just like it was when we last spoke. Angry and bitchy; by the way, I'm sorry if I snapped at you earlier."

"No, it's alright, my dear. Let me go check on him." With the phone talked between her ear and shoulder, Garcia stood up and approached the door. She put her hand on the knob, but froze when something caught her eye. On the counter in the kitchen, Garcia had laid out a towel and placed two kitchen knives that she had washed earlier out to dry.

One of them was missing.


	10. Chapter 10

**January 18, 2012- San Francisco Police Department**

On the other end of the line, Prentiss tapped the table rhythmically while waiting for Garcia to respond. Morgan and Rossi were talking through the profile in front of her. JJ was completing the press conference with Reid and the Chief of police.

"Oh God," Prentiss suddenly heard from Garcia. Prentiss sat up and narrowed her eyes. "Garcia, what is it?"

"Oh God….."

Prentiss heard Garcia fumbling for the doorknob. A minute of silence passed before she heard Garcia scream.

"Penelope, what happened?" Prentiss exclaimed. Her tone instantly caught Morgan and Rossi's attention. "Penelope?"

"Oh God! What did you do?" Prentiss heard Garcia scream. Prentiss gripped the edge of the table while Garcia began to whimper.

"Garcia! What happened? Is Hotch ok?" Prentiss exclaimed.

"Aaron…it's ok. Give me the knife…Aaron; give me the knife….."

"What? What did Hotch do?" Morgan took the phone from Prentiss and clicked the speaker phone button. "Baby girl, talk to me!"

"I got you…Oh God…..Derek, he- he stabbed himself and I-I-I'm covering the wound, but I have to call 911…so I have to go…" Rossi's heart dropped when he began to hear the slight sound of Hotch's staggered breaths. Before anyone could respond, Garcia hung up.

The three of them stood silently before Morgan spoke quietly, "Prentiss, clean up the file and the whiteboard. Call the airport and tell them to get the jet ready. Rossi, go get JJ and Reid and get everyone checked out of the hotel. I'll talk to the Chief and Strauss about getting another squad to take our place." He looked up to see Rossi and Prentiss still staring at the phone in shock. "Go!" he exclaimed, which put both agents into action.

Outside, JJ and Reid stepped away from the crowd of reporters and into the police station. There was an unusual ease between the two, each losing the anger they had towards each other earlier. JJ felt ready to apologize, but stopped at the sight of a frantic Rossi and Morgan.

"Chief, I need to speak to you immediately," Morgan stated as he pulled the chief over to the side. "Reid watched them for a moment then asked, "Rossi, what's going on? Did you-"

"We are leaving immediately. Get your stuff as fast as you can."

"Why?"

Rossi swallowed at JJ's worried face. "We just got a call that Hotch attempted suicide."

"Do you think you can handle the case on your own now?" Morgan asked after he pulled the Chief aside.  
>"What? Of course not, we need you guys. That's why I called you."<br>"I know; it's just that there is a pressing matter back in Quantico that my team and I need to attend to."  
>" A pressing matter? What could require all five of you to fly back home?"<br>"It just requires all of us: it's very important. Look, we will be available by phone and I can send a few agents as soon as you need it."  
>The chief paused and thought it over. "I guess. We have your profile, so we should be ok. I hope that the emergency ends ok,"<br>"Thanks," Morgan panted. He turned around and gave Rossi a thumbs up. Within an hour, all five members sprinted out the police station and headed towards the airport.

**Return flight to Quantico****  
><strong>  
>Morgan lay in his usual spot on the jet with his large gray headphones over his ears. Usually music helped him fall asleep after a long day, but tonight it seemed ineffective. All of the agents were wide awake as the Learjet glided through the starry night sky. It was like the team were all in a state of shock over Hotch' suicide attempt. It especially hit JJ, who was rocking gently in her seat. Prentiss watched her carefully, feeling empathy towards her worried friend. Reid was toying with a chess piece that an old team member, Jason Gideon had given him. Rossi sat next to him with a book in his lap, but only stared at the same spot on one of the pages.<p>

_Was this my fault?_ Morgan thought, _if I had not said anything, would this have happened?_

"Morgan, are you ok?" Reid called out to him. The young profiler placed the chess piece, a knight, on the table in front of him.

Morgan sighed. " I'm alright, kid. I just- I'm alright. How are you holding up?"

"I don't know what to feel. I guess, I feel like- my dad left me, Gideon left, and now Hotch tried to leave…."

"Spencer, he's in a dark place. His demons won and pushed him over the edge."

Reid looked at the chess piece. "I know. It just sucks."

_It could be worse, Reid. He could have died…._

**Quantico, Virginia**

"Jessica!" JJ called as she entered the waiting room at Quantico Medical Center. The rest of the team was a few steps behind her. Jessica sat on a couch Indian styled with her head buried in her hands. Garcia stood next to her, nervously biting her nails. Jessica jumped up when JJ called her.

"I can't- what do I tell Jack? What do I do about this-"she exclaimed. JJ grabbed her shoulders and said, "It's going to be ok. Where is he?" Suddenly she turned and faced Garcia. " And you! Where were you when this happened?" she snapped angrily.

"I was- in the living room. I fell asleep-"

"Penelope, we told you to watch him!" Morgan exclaimed, " How the hell did you fall asleep?" Reid and Prentiss glared at Garcia while Rossi was scanning the room for Hotch.

"I just fell asleep. He didn't-didn't sleep much the night before. I stayed up- u-up with him and I was just so tired. I'm so sorry guys!" Garcia whimpered.

"What if he had died?" Reid asked. "Then what?"

"Hey! Quiet down; all of you," Rossi snapped at his younger team members. He turned to Jessica who was crying. "Jessica, where is Jack?"

"At a friend's house. He doesn't know what happened."

"Ok, good. Where's Aaron?"

"In surgery; they said it's not looking very good! I can't lose him, Dave. I just lost Haley-"

"Jessica, calm down," Rossi interrupted, "We know Aaron, he will pull through this."

Prentiss held out her hand towards Jessica. "Sweetie, it's ok. Let's go get some fresh air and some coffee. Come on." Jessica hesitantly took a step towards Prentiss before bursting into tears. Prentiss guided her out of the waiting room while Jessica wept. JJ and Morgan sat down on a couch while Reid started to pace around the room. Garcia was standing as close as she could to the surgery doors, nervously watching for Hotch's surgeon to come out.

"Penelope?" Rossi said, " This isn't your fault."

She began to cry before saying. " This is my fault. I was supposed to watch him and I fell asleep. Now, he might die because of me."

Rossi grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "In no way, shape, or form is this your fault. Aaron did this all by himself. I'm happier that we woke you up in time to find him. On top of that, you acted rationally and got him to the hospital without falling apart. You got him to the hospital where the doctors will bring him back to us- alive. "

Garcia sniffled at the comment and wiped her face.

Rossi continued, "It's interesting that we always think that we have the hard part- you know going out in the field while you are here in Quantico. However; I think we sometimes forget that you work just as hard as we do. I'm guessing that you haven't slept much in the past month either?"

"No…two weeks ago, I was at the office for 36 hours straight while you guys were in Minnesota."

"See that's what I'm talking about. You feel and do the same that we do- the guilt of losing a victim or anger towards a killer. The thing that makes you special is that you know how to handle yourself- sleep deprived or not. Penelope, you have handled this the best out of all of us. In San Francisco, we were all at each other's throat and probably will still be for the next few days. I'm proud of you for that."

"Thanks, Rossi," Garcia answered, giving him a weak smile. "We should do these talks more often."

"Under better circumstances, I hope," Rossi answered, causing Garcia to chuckle.


	11. Chapter 11

**Quantico, Virginia**

"Miss Brooks?" Garcia and Rossi overheard. They both turned to see a doctor scanning the waiting room for Jessica. JJ stood up and said, "She went to get a cup of coffee. We are here for Aaron Hotchner as well."

The doctor smiled and said, "Oh, yes. I remember you all from last week. The surgery was a success- we were able to stop the bleeding and miraculously he didn't hit any major organs. He should be able to recover within a few days. We do plan on moving him to psych within a few days and have him on suicide watch. Because of his fragile state right now, I will only allow Miss Brooks to see him tonight. Also as he is on suicide watch, I cannot allow the rest of you to see him until we take him off of it- seeing you in his fragile state may agitate him. It might be a little rash to say this, but this could be seen as a blessing in disguise. He is in a safe place now where he can be helped."

Rossi nodded in content. "Ok. I'll let Miss Brooks know as soon as she comes back." Morgan sat down and sighed in relief, certainty in his decision to call Strauss returning.

After a few minutes, Jessica returned with Prentiss. She slowed down her pace when she saw the look on Rossi's face.

"Dave?" she whimpered, expecting bad news.

"He survived and will recover within a few days." Jessica let out a sigh of relief, which was followed by tears of happiness. Prentiss sat down on the couch next to Reid, letting out a sigh of relief.

Jessica then swallowed and suggested,"Why don't you guys go home from a little bit...you know, take a shower and eat while I wait for Aaron to wake up."  
>"Jessica, we aren't going to-"<br>"Please, not for long- I mean you all just came off of a four hour flight. Do it for me, "she pleaded. The team members exchanged looks before Prentiss stated softly, "I'll go." JJ and Reid nodded in agreement.

Rossi mumbled, " I'll be back in about an hour. Ok?" He picked up his jacket as Prentiss and Reid picked up their go bags. Jessica nodded sadly and watched Rossi, Prentiss, JJ, Reid, and Rossi leave.

Once the five agents boarded the elevator down the hall, Jessica tapped Morgan's shoulder, who was still gathering his items, and said," I need you to do something for me."  
>"Yeah, anything. What do you need me to do?"<br>"Look around Aaron's apartment. I know that he probably wrote a...suicide letter. I am praying that there isn't but it might help and I can't look at the blood-"  
>"Of course." <em>Let's hope I can do it<em>, Morgan thought.

Twenty minutes later, Morgan gently pushed open the door to Hotch's apartment and stepped into the dark apartment. He flicked on the lights and felt his stomach drop at the sight of the bloody towels that were lying on the floor next to the dining table. A part of him did not want to take a step further; he did not want to see the full extent of what Hotch had done to himself.  
><em>Come on, go,<em> he thought.  
>Morgan walked past the dining table and stepped into Hotch's room. A blue comforter was strewn across the floor while blood stained sheets were crumpled at the edge of the bed. The agent stepped next to the bed and observed the rest of the room. Hotch's badge and empty gun holster, which was sitting on Hotch's desk, caught his attention. Morgan walked over and picked up the badge, finding a small envelope tucked under it.<br>_ No Hotch, you didn't_….. Morgan thought as he picked up the envelope. Before he could open it, his cell phone rang loudly from his pocket. Morgan answered it and was surprised to hear the San Francisco Chief of Police's voice. 

"Agent Morgan?" the chief stated, " I hope that emergency of yours was quick because we need you. The unsub sent a letter to the media about going on a killing spree against all the women of San Francisco. The public is in a frenzy- we need you here ASAP." 

"Ok, I will send someone immediately." Morgan heard the Chief hang up before dialing Strauss' number.  
>"Strauss," the Section Chief answered flatly.<br>"Ma 'am, it's Agent Morgan. It's regarding the case in San Francisco-"  
>"Yes, the one where the Chief of police reported that you all had to return to Quantico for an emergency. Ignoring the fact that you didn't tell me, what could be so important that all five of you had to leave?"<br>_Sorry, Hotch. I have to do this._ "We had received a call that Agent Hotchner had attempted suicide a few hours ago, Ma 'am. We left as soon as-"  
>"He did what?"<br>"He stabbed himself in a suicide attempt."  
>"Oh God..."<br>"Ma' am, the chief just called me stating that they need help again with the case. Is there anyone else we could send instead of my team? We are all on a bit of edge about what happened to Agent Hotchner."  
>"I'm sorry, but no, Agent Morgan. Your team knows the case very well. It would be foolish to try and send another team unfamiliar with the case to help."<br>"I understand, Ma 'am."  
>"Good. I wish you luck."<br>"Thank you , Ma am." She hung up after his statement, causing him to growl in annoyance and call Prentiss.

**Washington D.C**

Prentiss tossed her keys on to the counter and sat her bag down at the door. Her apartment seemed to mirror her gloomy demeanor. She took a few steps into the dark apartment before breaking down into tears. After a few minutes, she pulled herself together before she flicked the lights on. She walked into her bedroom to see her cat Sergio playing with a ball of yarn next to her bed. Prentiss picked up the small black cat and jumped into her bed. Sergio yawned as Prentiss stroked his neck.

"Hey, little guy. Did you miss me?" she asked. The cat meowed causing Prentiss to laugh. "I missed you too. I had a really bad few days in San Francisco." The agent leaned back into her pillows and closed her eyes. Fatigue took over her body as her mind traveled back to Hotch. _I still can't believe that he actually did this…._

Prentiss' head began to droop when her phone rang from her bag. She yawned and placed Sergio on the bed before running over to her bag. She pulled out the phone and answered, " Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," Morgan answered, " The chief of police back in San Francisco just called me. The unsub is beginning to escalate and they need our help. So, I need you to fly down with Reid, JJ, and I as soon as possible."

"You want me to leave? Derek, we just got here. I can't leave!"

" I know this is tough, but I need you with us. "

" No! The last time I left Hotch attempted suicide- I'm not leaving!"

"Emily-"

"No!" She knew she was bordering subordinance.

Morgan paused while Prentiss gripped her pants leg. Her family was in trouble and she wasn't going to just leave.

"What if it was me in the hospital and you were talking to Hotch right now? Would you say the same thing?"

"Derek, I would do the same thing if any of us were in trouble. Don't you dare think otherwise."

"Ok."

"My punishment?"

"I don't want to do this, Emily, but you are suspended with pay for two days." _Suspension? I was afraid he would fire me, _Prentiss thought. She swallowed and said, " Ok. Good night and good luck, Derek."

"Good night." As soon as Morgan hung up, Prentiss crawled back into her bed. She gripped her pillow with the phone still in her hand. A wave a guilt passed over her- her intention was not to be rude towards Morgan; only firm. Most people would have been fired or given a harder punishment, but Morgan had been gentle on her.

_My God, what's happening to us? _she thought,_ The team is falling apart!_

After a restless few hours of sleep, Prentiss threw on a pair of FBI sweatshirt and sweatpants and headed back to the hospital. She walked into the waiting room and found Rossi drinking a cup of coffee and Garcia furiously typing on her laptop.

"Hey, has he woken up yet?" Prentiss asked. She sat down across from Rossi and sighed.

"He woke up about an hour ago. Jessica is sitting with him now- he's refusing to say word! The only emotional response Jessica or the doctors got out of him was when he cried when he realized that he was still alive. Aaron is also very weak from not eating or sleeping- the doctors say they may hold him for a few extra days before they move him to psych."

Prentiss gave Rossi a weak smile. " Did Morgan ask you to fly back to San Francisco?"

"Yes. I told him out of the question, he told me that I needed to be a bit more respectful, we argued, and now I'm suspended for a week. I heard you got two days?"

"Yeah, I'm not just going to up and leave after something like this happens. But he is right, we should have gone. It's our job."

"But would you have been focused enough to do your job?"

"No…no. It would take all my strength to stop myself from flying home, regardless if the case was finished or not…but I hope JJ is ok. She's having a really hard time with this."

"So is Reid…..and Morgan. All of us, really."

Next to Rossi, Garcia suddenly stopped typing and stared blankly at the computer screen. Rossi touched her shoulder and said, " It wasn't that bad. Everyone is on edge, exhausted, and irritable. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Prentiss sat up in curiosity. " What did I miss?"

"Morgan chewed Garcia's head off over a little thing. He got really personal and even threatened to blame her if anyone else died before hanging up on her."

"Whoa. Morgan's been bad this week, but that doesn't sound like him."

"I know, but like I said everyone is exhausted and on edge. About two hours ago, someone accidently knocked over my drink and I screamed at her. It wasn't until Garcia talked to me about the incident was when I realized that I was completely irrational and irritable. I don' think I have had a good night's sleep in about a month."

"I have the same feeling. I just laid in bed and watched the ceiling fan for the past five hours." Prentiss yawned as Garcia gasped, " Oh my God. What is she doing here?"

Rossi looked up to see Strauss entering the hospital wing. She soon approached them and said, " How are you all doing?"

"Tired and worried, ma 'am," Garcia squeaked quietly.

"Has he explained his actions?" Rossi then noticed a pink sheet sticking from Strauss' handbag. He narrowed his eyes at her in disgust. " Erin, did you come here to fire him?"

Strauss sighed and sat on the couch armrest that was next to Prentiss. " Unfortunately, yes. He attempted suicide and is incredibly ill. It's part of protocol-"  
>Garcia interrupted, " There is no medical leave option?...ma 'am"<p>

"I'm afraid not. I have to let him-"

Rossi stuck out his hand and barked, "Give it to me."

"Excuse me?"

" You were planning on waltzing in there and telling Aaron that he's fired and feel that it's the best thing to do. The last time you walked in and talked him down like that, he decided to stab himself. So Erin, I am telling you this now: give me the paper and I will gently explained to him his termination when the time is right. Any paperwork needed after that will be done either through me, Jessica Brooks, Emily Prentiss, or Penelope Garcia. Understood?"

Strauss stared at Rossi in shock before handing him over the paper. "I will return later to see him. Keep me updated."

Prentiss exclaimed, " Excuse me, ma am. But why? He isn't with the Bureau anymore."

Strauss sighed and said, " Although…..Aaron and I had lots of difficulties within the past year, I still care about his well being regardless of him being an agent or not. Unofficially, I would like him to recover and come back after a year or two, but the rules say that I have to let him go." She gave them a weak smile and left.

Garcia let out a sigh of relief before seeing Jessica emerge from Hotch's room. She walked over to him and whimpered, " I'm so scared. I don't know if he'll come back from this."

Prentiss rubbed her shoulder. " Jessica, he'll be back and kicking ass in no time. Right now, he's in a dark place, but deep down he's a strong person. When he's ready, he'll fight back."

"Thanks. I have to go home and check on Jack. What do I tell him?"

"You tell him," Rossi said as he crossed his arms, " that his dad had an accident. Tell him that his dad is going to stay at the hospital for awhile so he can better and be the superhero Jack knows him to be again."


	12. Chapter 12

**Quantico, Virginia**

Jessica rubbed her shoulders, nodded at Rossi, and started walking towards the elevators. Rossi watched her sadly before a forgotten reality suddenly hit him. He turned to Garcia and said, "Wait, how did Strauss know that Aaron attempted suicide?"

Prentiss raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I didn't even think about that. How would she- I didn't call her. Did any of you?"

"No- wait….who else could it be?" Rossi said. "Morgan called her."

**San Francisco**

"Ok, so three witnesses saw someone who looked liked the unsub on the west side of the park," JJ stated. She drew a line across the map while standing next to Reid. "So that limits the unsub's comfort area down to here-"

"Let's see if there are any cameras in that area of the park," Reid stated as he opened the laptop and clicked the webcam button. Almost instantly, Garcia appeared on the screen with an exhausted look on her face.

"Yes?" she answered. Reid and JJ could see that she was sitting in a conference room. The muffled sounds of Prentiss and Rossi talking could be heard in the background.

"No happy hello?" JJ asked. Morgan walked around the table and leaned down in front of the computer screen. He stated, "Garcia, I need you to look for any cameras on the western side of the park."

"Yes, sir." Morgan watched Garcia's concentrated expression as she typed away on her computer. _What's with her?_ Morgan thought.

"Umm…there are none on that side of the park. San Francisco public works had not reached the west side of the park yet with installing cameras there. Is there anything else?"

"No- that's it-"

"Did you tell Strauss about Hotch's suicide attempt?" Garcia blurted out. Morgan shot a quick glance to JJ and Reid before answering, "Yes."

Rossi stepped behind Garcia and stated, "When?"

"After the Chief of police called us to come back…why are you asking me this?"

"She fired him." Morgan stared at Rossi and Garcia in disbelief as JJ let out a gasp. "What do you mean she fired him?" Morgan asked. He could feel JJ's glare boring a hole into his head.

"Because of his suicide attempt, Strauss came over to the hospital and fired Aaron. "

"Derek- what the hell! He doesn't even have a job now?" exclaimed JJ. Reid raised a finger to object to her statement, but stopped when he heard JJ say, "Spencer, don't."

"I was following protocol!" Morgan spat to JJ. Prentiss suddenly appeared on the screen and pushed Garcia aside. She exclaimed, "Following protocol? Because of the way you followed protocol, Hotch has nothing now!"

"He would have done the same thing!"

"Hotch would never leave you out to dry like that!"

"You know what?" Morgan replied, shaking his head in disbelief, " We can talk about this later. Goodbye." He turned off the webcam before anyone in the room or at the hospital could respond. Morgan then stepped back and responded to JJ's glare by saying, "Not now, JJ."

**48 hours later- Quantico, Virginia **

JJ gave Rossi's door a gentle knock before letting her arm drop down in exhaustion. Morgan, JJ, and Reid had arrived at the airport thirty minutes prior; Reid and Morgan went their separate ways without saying anything to JJ. It did not bother her much; she was too angry and tired to care. After two days in San Francisco, they had finally had caught the unsub. A white male in his early thirties had been pulled over for driving without a valid license plate. The arresting officer, who saw blood on the front seat of the car, arrested the unsub and had soon gotten a warrant allowing a search of the car. The arresting officer searched the trunk and had found long sheets of plastic covered in blood along with photos of the victims running through Seaside Park. Although they had caught the unsub on luck, JJ took it as it was and was happy to come home. However, Rossi had asked her to stop by the house for a quick meeting as soon as she had landed.

Rossi suddenly opened the door and softly said, "Hey, welcome home."

"Thanks," JJ responded as Rossi let her into the house. In the living room, Prentiss and Garcia were lying on the large brown couches centered on opposite ends of the living room. JJ placed her bag down on the ground and gave a slight wave to Garcia and Prentiss.

"So what's going on now? What have you guys done since I had left?"

"Split our time 90/10 between the hospital and home. We pulled a mini sleepover over here yesterday," Garcia answered. She picked up a mug of hot chocolate and handed it to JJ. Behind her, Rossi sat down next to Prentiss, who was sitting Indian style on the couch.

"Oh well that's good. How's Hotch?"

"He was quite as a mouse until he broke down yesterday morning. They moved him to psych, yesterday afternoon. We tried to be there for that, but Jessica threatened to ban us from seeing him if we didn't go home and get some rest. She did say that we could visit him tomorrow."

"Oh. When will we-" JJ was cut off by her cell phone vibrating in her pocket. She answered," Jareau," and immediately heard Morgan's voice.

"JJ, it's me. I need you, Garcia, Rossi, and Prentiss at the office immediately," JJ glanced down to her watch and asked ,"Now? We have another case already? Derek, we just got home."

"No, Strauss wants us here to discuss the events of the past week. I need you all here immediately. Ok?"

"Yeah, Derek. We will be there in about 10 minutes."

"Ok, bye." JJ gave Garcia a nudge and said, "Time to go."

"What- why?" she answered.

"Morgan just called. Strauss wants all of us to come in and talk about the events of the past week or so immediately."

"Ehhh…do we have to?" Prentiss whined, causing Rossi to chuckle. "Come on, you," he stated, pulling the blanket that was wrapped around her, off of her. "Let's go."

**FBI office in Quantico- Ten Minutes later**

Morgan walked into the bullpen from his office with an annoyed look on his face. He loved his job, but was actually starting to get sick of the building. He spotted JJ, who was sitting at Prentiss' desk. Reid watched her and began to contemplate reminding her that it was Prentiss' chair and not hers, but backed down. Everyone was on edge and picking a fight would not be the smartest move right now. Rossi stood behind the cluster of desk, quietly talking with Garcia and Prentiss.

The Unit Chief gave his members a hesitant look before Strauss appeared from the conference room and exclaimed, "I'm glad you all finally made it!" She motioned into the conference room. "Shall we?"

After the five agents and technical analyst were all finally seated around the conference table, Strauss stated, "I called all of you here today because I received a complaint call from the chief of police in San Francisco."

Morgan looked at her in surprised, "For what? We got the job done and caught the unsub."

"He was shocked at how dysfunctional this team was. Multiple arguments and a personal issue that should have stayed personal affected how the team functioned. I know it has been a rough couple of days, but this issue should not have affected you work. A problem like this cannot happen again."

Morgan swallowed and exchanged a quick glance with Rossi.

Strauss continued, "So along with advice from the FBI director and the FBI psychologist Dr. Arthur Jennings, I'm putting all of you on medical leave for a month. No paperwork, no meetings- nothing. You will all be paid- so don't worry about that. Like Aaron, I think the stress from all the cases and the events of the last year has put all of you on edge. I certainly don't want what happened to Aaron, happen to any of you. So, take the time off to relax, get some rest, and spend some time with Aaron. Ok?"

Rossi smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Erin,"

Strauss returned with a smile. "Your welcome. Go home- all of you. Have a good break. You all deserved it." She left the room quickly.

JJ stood up and picked up her bag as Garcia, Prentiss, and Rossi followed her towards the door. Garcia opened the door and said, "Dinner and a movie?" to Rossi.

Morgan and Reid stared at Rossi and Garcia, confused. "Are you guys having some kind of meeting?" Morgan asked.

"No sir," Garcia answered quietly. She ducked behind Prentiss and sprinted out the door. JJ turned to Rossi and said, "I have to swing by the house and see Henry and Will first."

"Ok," Rossi stated. He then turned his attention to Morgan, "We decided that we would hang out with each other during this time. You're welcome to join us." Before allowing Morgan a chance to respond, Rossi turned on his and left with Prentiss right behind him.

**JJ's home**

JJ stepped into her quiet house and flicked on the lights. Will was asleep on the couch in the living room, ten feet away from the doorway. She walked over to him slowly, admiring the peaceful look on his face as he slept. _I wish I could be as peaceful as you look right now, _she thought as she ran a hand over his forehead. She kissed his cheek gently, avoiding waking him up. _I love you, Will, _she thought before heading towards her son's room on the second floor.

Once in Henry's room, JJ walked over to the crib and looked down at her sleeping two year old son. She wanted to lift him up and hug him, but that would lead to her dealing with an irritable two year old. Instead, JJ touched his cheek and kissed his forehead. He fidgeted a little, but did not wake. A tear fell from her cheek as she whispered, "I won't ever leave you, Henry. I promise."


	13. Chapter 13

Across town, Hotch was lying on a small white mattress in small room in the psychiatric ward. They had moved him to psych earlier against his wishes. He only wanted to die; locking him in a concrete box would do him no good. _Jessica shouldn't be here, _he had thought over and over throughout the day, _the team shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be here! It should have worked!_

_I shouldn't- I shouldn't be here, _he began to repeat through his mind_, I don't deserve to be here! Haley, I'm so sorry. _Hotch closed his eyes in misery at the thought of Haley's name.

"I shouldn't be here," Hotch whispered quietly, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion hit him. Within the past month, he had gotten used to a lack of sleep. Hotch had even become a pro at going days without sleep, but always lost when extreme exhaustion waves hit him. _Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep…._

And as the same as all of his fights with exhaustion, Hotch's eyes fluttered closed, pulling him into a nightmares.

"_Clear!" Hotch exclaimed, pulling his head out of the room. He was standing in a prison hallway, checking each room for….something. 'Why am I here?" Hotch asked himself. He knew he was asleep- but this dream was different- his other dreams usually started out in pain. _

_Hotch reached for his mic that was clipped to his Kevlar vest and called out, 'Guys?' When no one responded, Hotch scanned the hallway with a look of panic. Where was everyone?_

"_Aaron?"_

_Hotch quickly turned around at the sound of his name. It was the sound of woman's voice, but he could not quite recognize who it came from. The agent focused on the end of the hallway where he was positive the voice had come from. With his gun aimed, Hotch slowly crept down the hallway, keeping watch for any unwanted surprises. _

'_Haley?' he thought to himself. A part of him wanted her to reappear; alive and well, giving him time to spend another moment with her. The other part of him knew what would really come, which gave him chills._

_Hotch took another step before feeling a cold breeze past through him. "Aaron?"_

_Hotch turned around again and found Haley standing in front of him. She appeared to him, just as she always did: covered in blood with the stab marks from the Reaper scattered over her body. Hotch slowly lowered his weapon and whimpered, "Haley?"_

"_Why did you do this to me, Aaron?" she exclaimed._

"_Haley, I tried-"_

"_All I ever did was love you!"_

"_I know. I'm so sorr-"Hotch suddenly felt an arm grab his shoulder and pull him around. He was now face-to face with the Reaper, who then took a knife and stabbed Hotch right in the chest. All the air in Hotch's lungs seemed to rush out of him, leaving him choking and gasping for air. The Reaper smiled and pulled Hotch closer and whispered, _

"_All you had to do was make the deal."_

"Aaron! Aaron, you have to calm down!" Hotch suddenly heard as he came back to reality. He continued to gasp for air with a hand on his chest as a nurse exclaimed, "Aaron! Open your eyes! You are ok!" She was crouching over him with both of her hands on a spot on his stomach. Hotch opened his eyes and looked down to see the nurse's hands covering a red spot on his white shirt. Along with the nightmare and the blood, the fact that the nurse was in the same position the Reaper had been in when Hotch was attacked sent Aaron Hotchner into a panic.

"No-no!" he started to mumble as he tried to push the nurse off of him. She responded by yelling back to a male nurse behind her, "Get me Lorazepam and Doctor Garner! He ripped some of his stitches- I need this STAT!"

The nurse then turned her attention back to Hotch, who had pushed her partly off of him and was now on his side. "No- I can't- I didn't – don't hurt me!" Hotch exclaimed. The nurse grabbed his wrist and said calmly, "My name is Allison. Aaron, you are having a panic attack and you need to calm down. You popped a few stitches so I need you to calm down."

Hotch ripped his wrist out of her grasp and pulled himself up to his knees, immediately breaking into tears. Allison gently put her arm around his back as Hotch continued to cry. "It's ok. You're ok." She turned her head back to see Dr. Gardner sprint to the doorway.

"Aaron," Allison whispered, "Aaron, Dr. Gardner is going to check you out and then we are going to get those stitches checked out, okay?" She gently pushed Hotch onto his side who whimpered, "I don't deserve it."

"Shhh…..I promise you, Aaron. You deserve it and you are worth it."

**Jessica's Home**

Jessica placed Jack, who was sleepy and gripping his action figure, on to his bed. The young boy stuck his feet under the sheets and allowed his aunt to pull the sheets up to his neck. She kissed his forehead and gave him a teary smile.

_Why so sad, _Jack thought before asking, "Auntie, why you so sad? And where's Daddy?"

"I'm not sad, sweetie. I'm just worried about grown up stuff. And your dad is-"

"Is he with mommy?"

_Oh God. _"No, Jack. Your daddy is- he got really sick and sad about what happened to your mommy. So he has to stay at the hospital for awhile until he gets better."

"I thought Daddy was a sup-ha-ero. Nobody beats Daddy "

"He's still a superhero, Jack," Jessica answered. She bit her lip and thought- _Dave; I wish you were here to help me with this._ Suddenly, an idea hit her.

"Jack, you know how regular people get sick?"

"Yeah…."

"Well, when superheroes get super colds they have to go to a super secret place to get better." Her heart jumped at the smile forming across Jack's face.

"Will he get new powers when he get better?"

"Yes- you know what? How about tomorrow, you can create a card for your daddy and tell him all the new powers he should get."

"Like flying?"

"Yep," Jessica exclaimed. Jack giggled and exclaimed, "Is it a super secret cold?"

"Yep, but I can't tell you or it wouldn't be a secret. Now, off to bed so you can make the card for your daddy tomorrow. Ok?"

"O-kay, Auntie," Jack answered. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his action figure. "Good night, auntie."

"Good night, Jack," she answered back. Jessica turned off the lights and thought, _Now if it could be that easy with Aaron…_


	14. Chapter 14

**Quantico Medical Center**

_What happened…_Hotch thought as he slowly opened his eyes. His entire body was throbbing in pain, especially his stomach which felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing him. The last thing he remembered was crying and Allison talking about his stitches….

He attempted to turn onto his side, but was stopped by a restraint on both wrist; the right restraint was located below a needle that was attached to an IV bag. _What the hell? _he thought.

"Hey, you," he suddenly heard from across the room. Allison was standing at the door with a white paper bag and a cup of water. She walked over to the side of his bed and placed the cup and bag on the bedside table.  
>"What happened?" he muttered, licking his chapped lips. He tugged again at the restraints, which did not budge.<p>

"You had a nightmare and had torn a few of your stitches. You were so worked up about the nightmare that we had to sedate you," Allison stated. She stepped back and continued, "I also started you on an IV to get some fluids in you. I thought it might be a good idea to get you to at least drink and nibble on something."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Just…..no." Allison stared at the man, fighting the urge to smack him at the back of his head. It was a weakness that many said that she had; she treated all of her patients as if they were family. In this case, she felt as if she were dealing with a stubborn child of her own. She had encountered many suicidal patients, but she had a feeling that Hotch was going to be a challenge.

"Ok- I'll just leave these here in case you change your mind. The IV stays in, my friend- hence the restraints .Don't- Aaron, don't pull on the restraints. It won't do you any good."

Hotch relaxed both arms and gave Allison a glare. She returned a smile and asked, "So you are an FBI agent?"

Hotch turned his head towards her with a confused look on his face. "What?"

"Before this….before any of this- you were the boss of an FBI squad, right?" _Try and get him talking, Alli._

"Yes."

_I hate short answers. _"Yes and?"

"Just yes."

_Darn- try something else. _"You have a son?"

"Yes."

"Wow…how old?"

"5."

"Oh, so he's starting school soon. Oh, I remember when my little on Nathaniel started school for the first time- he was a mess! He never wanted to leave my side; the poor little boy asked me if he could stay at home with me forever! I think it was because of his father- he asked me every day where the man was. I can just remember it- "Where's Daddy?" over and over again. Bless my soul; I had no idea what to do!" She stopped and found Hotch only staring at the ceiling, his eyes filled with misery. Concluding that she was going to get no response, Allison turned and walked back to the door. Before she could step out into the hallway, she heard,

"His father died, didn't he?"

Allison gave Hotch a sad smiled. "Yes, when Nathaniel was 5 1/2."

"What happened to his father?"

Allison glanced down to the floor and back to Hotch before saying, "He had done a tour in the Persian Gulf and didn't come back the same man. He eventually killed himself. My point with this story, Aaron, is that what you did or at least tried to do doesn't just affect you; it affects everyone around you. I know you feel like that world would be better without you…but it actually would be worse for the ones that love you. Think about that."

**Rossi's Mansion**

"I'm coming….I'm coming," Rossi mumbled as he staggered toward the front door of the house. He let out a yawn and glanced down to his watch to see that it was 2:30 in the morning. He had been only nodding off in the living room with Garcia, who had asked to stay the night. Rossi had no idea who would be over so early in the morning; the only reason he could think of was for an emergency. Once at the door, he unlocked and opened the door to see Prentiss, standing at the door with a bag over her shoulder and a pillow.

Before she could say anything, he gave her a warm smile, "Couldn't sleep?"

"No…..I think I felt much better when I was with someone than in my house alone. I feel like I'm imposing-"

"No, Emily. Come on in," Rossi answered," Penelope is already here."

Prentiss let out a chuckle and walked into the living room. She found Garcia sitting Indian style on the living room floor in striped pajamas and pink fuzzy slippers. "Hey, you came to join our sleepover," Garcia joked softly. Prentiss placed her bag down and sat on the floor across from Garcia.

"Hey, where's Sergio?" Garcia asked as Rossi walked over and sat down on one of the couches.

"He is at a neighbor's house- I had asked them to watch him for a few days so I could deal with everything that was going on without having to worry about him."

"Ooohh…I hope my little man is ok."

"He's fine, Penn," Prentiss laughed. "What were you guys doing before I came?"

"Nothing really. We got a few hours of sleep until Penelope became a distraction," Rossi joked, earning a playful slap from Garcia. "Was not," she retorted, "I'm just a restless sleeper."

"You snore!"

"I do not!" Prentiss smiled as she watched the two continue to argue.

A few miles away, Morgan was sitting on his bed deep in concentration. He had been home for hours, but still had on his jacket and was sitting in his dark room. He felt lost and confused; a small part of him still told him he had done the right thing, but the rest of him was ridden with guilt. Over and over, he replayed in his head what might have had happened if no one had called Garcia in time to stop Hotch. His mind even went back to the day where he had expressed his concerns about Hotch to Strauss.

"_Ma am?" Morgan called out as he gently rapped on the office door. Strauss looked up, took off her glasses, and said, "Come in, Agent Morgan."_

_He complied and sat down in one of the silver chairs located in front of her desk. Strauss leaned back in her chair and asked, "How can I help you?"_

"_I'm concerned….about Agent Hotchner," he answered. Morgan expected a reprimand, but only received a soft expression from the Section Chief._

"_You're concerned about what happened with Foyet."_

"_Something wrong, ma am. Seriously wrong."_

"_Well, he's mourning, Agent Morgan. It's been two and a half weeks."_

"_I know and I understand that. It's just that- he's putting everything into his work; I don't think I've ever seen him taken a break within the three weeks, hell- months! I've seen this behavior before and I think he's going to crash, ma am."_

"_Well, I can have him sit down with the company psychologist. He's very good." Strauss reached over to pick up her phone, but stopped when Morgan said, "No offence, ma am, but I know Agent Hotchner very well and- the man is very stubborn. I honestly think he would find a way around any psych evaluations that are thrown his way."_

_Strauss leaned back in the chair. "What do you suggest, Agent Morgan?"_

"_I-I don't know, ma am. I know that here we are supposed to have a working relationship here, but these people are my family. I can't lose any of them- not like that."_

"_Hmmmm," Strauss said, "Just watch him. If he does or says anything that makes you question the safety of his well being, you let me know. Ok?"_

"_Yes ma am."_

Morgan turned onto his side and allowed his mind to travel under the quiet chirping of owl from outside. He knew he had to be the strong one- he was always Hotch's right hand man. For the past five years, he knew that if Hotch went down, he would have to lead the team. Unfortunately, Morgan's actions had contributed to the team falling apart and…

The agent turned himself onto his back again. _Did I do this? Did I screw everything up?_

_Would any of this would have happened if I had not said anything?_


	15. Chapter 15

"Aaron?"  
>Hotch turned his head towards the door and saw a tall, elder gentleman standing at the door. The man gave a Hotch a small wave and entered saying," Hi, my name is Dr. William Ames. I'll be your psychiatrist and therapist while you're here. "<br>-_I don't want him here! I just_- The story Allison had told him suddenly came to mind. It had actually never left- his mind seemed to have latched onto the last phrase she had told him, "I know you feel like that world would be better without you…but it actually would be worse for the ones that love you. Think about that." _Why can't I believe that?_

"You have a big day ahead of you, huh? Family and your teammates are coming today-you get to see the people that love you," Ames said.  
>"I guess," Hotch answered.<br>"Ok." Dr. Ames pulled up a chair next to Hotch's bed and sat down." Ok, let's start our first session." He pulled out a pen and scribbled a note down on his notepad. After a minute, he looked to Hotch and pushed his glasses up from sliding down his nose.  
>"Now tell me about yourself," Ames asked. - <em>You can glare at me all you want, Aaron, <em>he thought.  
>Hotch paused before saying," I'm an FBI agent. I used to be the Unit Chief of a team in the Behavioral Analysis Unit."<p>

"So you catch what…serial killers?"  
>"Yes."<p>

"I see. Did you enjoy your job? You know, catching these guys and being a leader?"

"Yes."

"That's always good. Now tell me about your family."

"I have a son named Jack, a brother named Sean, and a sister in law named Jessica."

"No wife?" Ames watched Hotch twitch at the sound of the question.

"No …..we divorced two years ago….and she died seven weeks ago."

"Oh, I'm sorry for your lost."

"Thank you," Hotch answered quietly. Ames looked down to his notepad and began to write down notes. When he finished, he clicked his pen and looked up to Hotch. "Aaron, what happened within the last couple of months? Why are you here?"

"I attempted suicide a few days ago," Hotch answered with a sigh, "in response to a stressful situation with a serial killer named George Foyet."

"What happened?"

"A year ago, Foyet offered me a deal where he would stop killing if I promised not to hunt him. I refused which led to a lot of lives being put in danger including my own. This cumulated in Foyet killing my ex wife Haley and myself killing him."

"Ok...You said a lot of lives were put in danger…. including your own. What do you mean by that?"

"I was attacked in my apartment by Foyet and stabbed nine times a few months ago."

"Wow that must have been frightening! What happened?"

_Don't make me go there, _Hotch thought."I don't remember."

Ames smiled. "Aaron, just like you, I can catch when someone is lying. You're lying to me."

Hotch only returned with a darkened glare. Ames leaned back in the chair and took the challenge. "I have your medical notes here and they correspond with the report that you were stabbed nine times…..but your emotions tell me otherwise. I think you're hiding something- something you didn't tell the doctors or anyone else. Did something else happen?"

_Don't…Don't! _Hotch only continued his glare into Ames, praying that the man would back down.

"Aaron? Aaron, don't shut down on me." Ames leaned forward in his chair and looked Hotch in the eyes.

"Aaron?" Hotch blinked, pulling himself out of his glare and whispered, "Don't."

Ames took a breath and asked, "Did Foyet rape you?"  
><span><strong>Rossi's mansion<strong>  
>Ring!<p>

Rossi turned his head towards the door at the sound of the doorbell. He sat up from the couch to answer it, but Prentiss put a hand out and said, "I'll get it. It's the least I could do." She walked over to the door as Rossi leaned back into the small warm pillows on the couch next to Garcia.

"Hey, JJ. Come in," Prentiss said as she opened the door for JJ. JJ walked passed her and immediately said to Garcia," Penelope, I was really horrible when we had to come home. I shouldn't have blamed you- I hope you can forgive me."  
>"Sweetie, it's water on the bridge!" Garcia exclaimed. She walked over and gave JJ a hug." I know you didn't mean it. Everyone has said things in the last few days that weren't meant to be said."<br>"Thanks. You guys are family- I'm sorry for anything that I said."  
>"That goes for me as well," Prentiss chimed in.<br>"I was an absolute gentleman," Rossi joked in a serious manner. Everyone chuckled at his comment including JJ who said," Jessica said that we can't come in to see Hotch for a few hours so what do you guys want to do until then?"  
>Garcia shrugged and said," I don't know...bookstore?"<p>

**West Quantico, Virginia  
><strong>"Why are we here again?" Rossi asked as he, Garcia, JJ, and Prentiss entered a small bookstore twenty minutes later. Garcia, who had bought coffee on the way, took a sip and said," Because you couldn't think of anything better for us to do."  
>"I think this is nice," JJ answered, "It'll allow us to-" She stopped short at the sight of Reid. He was sitting quietly in the small bookstore cafe with a sad look on his face. JJ turned to Prentiss, Rossi, and Garcia and said," Reid is here…..I'm going to go over and say hi. I think I should go alone, though- it might be a little rough if we all go together."<br>"Ok- we'll be walking around somewhere in the store," Prentiss answered sadly. She turned to Rossi," What book should I get?"  
>"How about a cookbook? The casserole you brought in last week was horrendous," he answered. Garcia linked her arm with Rossi's and said," Emily, he's a cooking god- listen to him."<p>

JJ watched them walk toward bookshelves before turning attention back to Reid. She approached him at his table slowly and said," Hey, Spence."  
>"Oh, hey JJ. What are you doing here?"<br>"I'm here with Penelope, Rossi, and Emily just bumming around before we visit the hospital. How about you?"  
>"Just thinking. I usually come here to think when it's too cold to go to the park..."he trailed off as his eyes fell to the floor.<br>"Are you mad at me, Spence?"  
>"No- I didn't know if you were mad at me."<br>"Oh- I'm sorry I snapped qt you. I'm not mad at you- I was just...everyone has been a little nuts this week."  
>"That's ok. I feel like everyone has been attacking me on everything that I have said since everything has happened."<br>JJ sat down at the table." Now you know how Garcia feels right now."  
>"…I know. I shouldn't have been so mean to her. I'll go apologize."<p>

"Also, Emily and Rossi don't hate you- they, like us all, said things that weren't meant to be said."

"I know."

"Well- why don't you walk around with us-" JJ instantly saw a change in Reid's expression and body manner. He suddenly stood up and answered quietly," Actually, there is something I need to do before I go to the hospital. See you there?"

Reid walked off before JJ could respond. _Poor Spence-_she thought.

After Reid had left, JJ walked over to Garcia, Rossi, and Prentiss, who were looking at books in the romance section. She chuckled when she arrived and asked, "What happened to cooking?"

Prentiss smiled and shelved a small paperback. "We got a little side tracked. Rossi is just here for the ride. How's Reid?"

"He's upset so I think maybe a little space for him would be nice." Rossi, who was glancing to a top shelf of books, caught her attention. "See something you like?"

Rossi rolled his eyes in response. "Funny, JJ. Real funny."


	16. Chapter 16

Ames leaned against the doorway next to Allison, both keeping an eye on Hotch. Their patient was sitting on his bed with a tear eyed gaze.  
>"How long has he been sitting like that?" Allison asked. Ames sighed and answered," Twenty five minutes. I asked him about him his ordeal with George Foyet and he completely shut down on me. I called you here because you seem to have a connection with him."<br>"I see."Allison ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Only a few minutes earlier, she had seen Jessica and the rest of Hotch's team arrive to the waiting room. Now was not the time for Hotch to break down, especially with his son here. She turned to Hotch and called out," Aaron?"  
>He snapped out of his daze and mumbled," Hmm?"<br>"Are you ok?"  
>"Ummm..."he glanced around the room and whispered," Yes. I guess."<br>"Aaron, you don't have to answer my question today- we can pick this up tomorrow," replied Ames.  
>"Your friends and family are here. Do you want to see them?" Allison added.<br>Hotch slowly let out a breath. "Yes. I can see them." He pulled up the sheets around his waist and sighed. _I don't want to do this, but I don't want to upset anyone else._

Allison and Ames exchanged another set of glances before she nodded and said, "I'll go them one at a time of course." She turned and left, heading towards the waiting room. Hotch's reaction to Ames' question mirrored one of a victim, which she knew that Hotch would try and deny. A part of her wanted to go and beg him to answer the question, but that was unethical and plain wrong. She had no choice but to wait.

Allison entered the waiting room and observed the patrons in the room. Rossi was sitting with Jessica and Jack, trying to entertain the little boy for as long as possible. Garcia, Prentiss, and JJ were sitting across from them, speaking quietly amongst themselves. Reid was slowly pacing across the room, admiring the 17th century paintings that decorated the beige walls. Morgan was sitting isolated a few chairs away from the girls; Allison could immediately pick up the guilty and worried look on his face.

This was his family. If anyone could pull him out of his state, it would be them.

Allison cupped her hands together. "Only one of you guys can go at a time. Who wants to go first?"

Jessica looked over to the five agents and Garcia, who were exchanging nervous looks amongst themselves. _Someone has got to go,_ Prentiss thought. She quickly eyed Reid, who was now staring at the psych room doors as if it was the entrance to a prison.

"Dave?" Jessica suddenly called out softly. "You should go- Jack and I can go last." Rossi took a breath and stood up, preparing himself for the trip. He then quietly passed by Jessica and the girls and approached Allison, who swiped her keycard to open the doors.

"Follow me," she responded quietly. Allison started down the hall with Rossi, who was distracted by the dark demeanor of the ward. The hallway was dark with only a small ray of sunlight entering a small window at the end of the hallway.

_This is…..this is…I don't know how Aaron is going to do this,_ Rossi thought. The echoes of a woman wailing through the door of her room sent a chill down the agent's back.

"Here it is," Allison said, suddenly stopping in the middle of the hallway. She turned to the agent and said, "I….good luck." She pointed to the door handle and stepped back. Rossi swallowed and pulled the door open.

Rossi entered the room slowly and saw Hotch sitting on the bed with his eyes on the floor. He seemed much weaker than when Rossi had last seen him.

"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem," Rossi stated. The agent walked across the room and leaned against the opposing wall.

"Phil Donahue," Hotch answered quietly without looking up.

"I was told to tell you that we are here for you and talk about the good times, but….." Rossi trailed off causing Hotch to look up at him, "but I think you have heard enough of that."

Hotch only closed his eyes and nodded weakly.

"I want to know-what happened? Why would you try to leave your family? The team? Aaron, you aren't the type of person to give up. What made you give up?"

Hotch rolled his head to his side and said, "It didn't- I didn't-"

"Well…..we all plan to be here as much as we can, ok? And there is also…." Rossi looked away from Hotch and hesitated. "Aaron, I don't know how to tell you this, but-"

Hotch cut him off. "I was fired, wasn't I?"

"I'm so sorry..." Rossi watched Hotch's expression hoping for a response. After a minute had passed, he sighed. "We want you to get as much time as possible with Jessica and Jack and everyone is here and they want to see you before they do. Is that ok?" 

"...If they want to come, they can," Hotch answered without looking Rossi in the eye. The older agent gave him an encouraging smile before leaving to go get the next person.

Rossi stepped out of the psych ward and sighed. He looked up to see his team members staring at him, expecting an update on Hotch's status. "Aaron is very upset…..um, who wants to go next? Reid?"

"No," Reid answered quietly. His behavior seemed fearful and nervous so Rossi let it go. JJ stood up and straightened her shirt. "Dave, I'll go."

JJ walked into the room and looked Hotch straight in the eye. "I need to know why you did this," she stated quietly. She only received a teary eyed look from Hotch. She took a step forward and gently held his hand. "Please, Hotch. Please."

"I can't," he whimpered back. He let out a shaky breath while JJ said, "Even after what I had told you about my sister….you really scared me there, Hotch."

"JJ, I- I-I don't know what to sa-a-y."

"Well, I just wanted to hear your voice. Emily, Reid, and Morgan still need to come and say hi to you. I'll be here as long as I can tomorrow."

"How so- "

"All of us are on medical leave for a month."

"You shouldn't have gone on medical leave for me."

"We didn't. Strauss put us on medical leave," JJ said. She sat down on the bed next to him. "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I'm going to anyway. We are all hurting for you Hotch. Like you, we…..are all burned out from the last month. Tensions are running high and everyone's angry with each other. We need you back to your old self, Hotch. When one of us hurts, we all do."

Hotch shook his head, signaling his discontent. _It's something; we need any kind of emotion- anger or not. _JJ nodded, turned around and left the room. Once outside, she sat down next to Rossi and said, "Who is next?"

"I can go," answered Garcia. She walked passed Morgan and to Hotch's room.

Once in front of the door, Garcia took a breath and walked into Hotch's room. He was staring at a spot on the ceiling with his body still as a statue.

Garcia sat down quietly next to him and sighed. "Hotch, I know that you are upset, but I just want you to know that we are here for you."

_What does everyone want me to say? _Hotch thought.

"I feel so bad. This is my fault- I shouldn't have left you alone like that. I should have sat with you and now everyone is mad at me…." Garcia whimpered. She took a breath to try and stop herself from crying.

_Please, don't. This isn't your fault._

"Please say something…."

"Penelope, it wasn't your fault. I did this," Hotch answered. - _And it didn't work_  
>"But I should have stopped you or stayed with you- I shouldn't have even let you gone to asleep in the room especially after what had happened with Jack-" Garcia stammered but had stopped when she lost eye contact with Hotch. "I-I guess I'll go get whoever is next then."<p>

Outside, Prentiss called out "Reid?" as she watched Reid tap his foot anxiously. He continued to toy with the silver chest knight piece with his right hand and stare out the window.

"Reid?" Prentiss repeated. She sighed when she saw him glance down, acknowledging that he heard her, but not answer.

Morgan rolled his eyes. "Kid!" he yelled grabbing Reid's attention. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah- I'm fine," Reid answered. _I can't go in there…I can't_

"Penelope is almost done. Do you want to be next to go see Hotch?" Prentiss asked.

"No, I think…I'm alright out here."

"Spencer, you have to visit him sooner or later." Morgan sat up and glared at Prentiss. "He doesn't have to go today; he can go tomorrow."

"Derek, I was only making a suggestion. He passed up his turn twice already."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"Yes, that means he's -"

"Don't profile him!"

"Stop defending him! He's not your kid!"

"Stop interfering!"

"I'm not interfering! I was only trying to make a suggestion!"

"Wow, that's a big change from screaming at him every five seconds," Morgan snapped. In the corner of his eye, he watched Garcia sit down and give him a concerning look. He shot her a glare. "What?" he snapped.

"Nothing…um…whoever wants to go next can go…" Garcia mumbled. She grabbed her belongings and carried them to a seat as far away from Morgan as possible. Prentiss stood up and snipped, "What's with you and Penelope?"

"Emily, you should not be giving me advice in how to treat Penelope."

"Oh, so no 'Baby Girl' now?"

"Someone go!" Rossi screamed, catching the attention of others in the waiting room.

"I'm going! I'm going!" Prentiss exclaimed, walking towards Hotch's room.

"Hey," Prentiss whispered softly as she walked into the room. Hotch only gave her a blink in response.  
>"How are you?" she asked.<br>" Prentiss don't worry about me."  
>"It's way too late for that, Hotch," she said as she sat down on the bed. Once next to Hotch, she turned to him and said, "Please don't ever scare me like that again."<br>"Emily-"

" Hotch, this has been one of the scariest week of my life."  
>"Emily, I-"<br>"When Garcia told me that you had stabbed yourself, I thought that by the time that we would have made it back to Quantico, you would…..be dead. I thought I wouldn't get to say how much I care about not only the team, but you as well."

Hotch glanced over to her before he felt his eyes suddenly droop. _Not again; no more nightmares!_

"Hotch?" Prentiss watched him blink twice before he mumbled, "I'm ok." His head drooped again, which caused Prentiss to chuckle. His eyes finally closed allowing him to drift to sleep. Prentiss felt Hotch slump on to her shoulder which made her think, _Good. Sleep well, Hotch. _She gently laid him down onto the bed and covered him with the sheets. She then slowly backed out of the room and headed back to the waiting room.

JJ sipped her coffee cup and asked, "What happened?"

"I said a few things….and I guess sleep caught up to him. He fell asleep midway through my conversation," Prentiss said. She sighed and noticed that Reid was missing.

"Where's Reid?" she asked, dropping her purse on the couch where Rossi sat.  
>"He didn't want to go today so he left," Rossi said. <em>He's not taking this well at all<em>; he thought.  
>"Ok, who wants to go next? Derek?" Prentiss asked.<br>Morgan sighed. "I don't know what to say to him."  
>Prentiss glared at him. "What? How about I'm here for you?"<br>JJ shot him a nasty look. "Derek, can you at least give some form of emotion? Something?"  
>"What the hell should I say? What- Hotch, how the hell could you do something so stupid? How could you quit like that?"<br>"Something! All you have done is act like it's nothing-"  
>Suddenly, Jessica stood up and exclaimed," Enough!"<br>When everyone's attention was on her, she lowered her voice," All of you need to leave."  
>"Jess-" Rossi stated.<br>"No- Aaron doesn't need this negativity. All of you are tired and snippy and I won't let any of you...except for Dave near him until you cool down."  
>Prentiss mumbled," but-"<br>"Go." Jessica narrowed her eyes at the five agents causing Garcia to nod and collect her stuff.

**Outside the hospital**

"Morgan!" Rossi called out as he jogged towards Morgan. The younger agent stopped in his tracks and growled," You want to yell at me too, now?"  
>"No. I just- this isn't your fault."<br>"What? Don't profile me!"  
>"I wasn't. You don't need to be a profiler to catch that."<br>Morgan gave Rossi a dark look before softening his expression." If I hadn't have said anything to Strauss-"  
>"He would have still gone down that path regardless. Morgan, you know this. Unless you told him to stab himself, you were involved in this in no way shape or form."<p>

"How do you know that? Maybe something should have been said earlier-"  
>"Derek, now is it not the time to try and figure out when the best time was. Also, picking a fight with Prentiss, JJ, or Garcia isn't going to help this situation any better."<p>

"They-what do you suggest I do?"

"Take some time away from all of this-"

"So isolate myself more from the little club you guys have?"

"Derek!" Rossi exclaimed," We don't have a club or special little circle that's isolating you and Reid out. You are doing that- all of your actions regarding Hotch was done by yourself- you didn't come to us like a team member- you went rouge and did everything on your own!"

"I made the move that I thought was best!"

"I understand that, but how the hell did you think the rest of us were going to feel after leaving us in the dust? Derek, you are out of control and I think it's because you blame yourself for Hotch's suicide attempt. So you need to take some time away from all of this and get yourself together. Ok?"

"Rossi, I can handle this."

"No you can't. You are treating Penelope like she committed a crime- she fell asleep! Did you expect her to be awake 24 hours a day? She's human, for God sakes! And for the rest of us, we can't trust you! Speaking of,what did Strauss mean by Aaron not being able to do his job?"

"I-he's not the same Rossi."

"We all know that, but none that little comment got him fired! JJ is angry because you went behind her back and acted like it was nothing. Prentiss is angry at you because of the effect your actions has had on Hotch- you know how she feels about everyone on this team- we're family."

Morgan sighed and asked, "And you?"

"I don't know what to think of you right now, Morgan. Just take a few days to think, ok?" Rossi answered shortly. He put his hand in his pocket and started towards his car, leaving the lonely profiler in the parking lot.


	17. Chapter 17

A few hours later

Allison stepped into Hotch's room, watching the sleeping patient. _Poor Aaron, _she thought as she watched Hotch struggle through another nightmare.

"_Alright, Reid and I will take the west hallway while Rossi and Prentiss will take the east hallway," JJ commanded. She quickly turned and started down the stairway with Reid next to her. Hotch blinked before he muttered, "I was just in the-I fell asleep again."_

_Rossi and Prentiss disappeared down the stairs leaving Hotch with Morgan. Morgan turned on his flashlight and stated, "Come on let's go." He aimed his gun in front of him and entered the north hallway causing Hotch to think, 'Don't lose him! Don't be left alone-'He darted down the stairs with his hand on his gun holster. _

_Hotch turned to his left and found the hallway to be empty. "Morgan?" he called out. Hotch reached to his left for where his flashlight would be and found nothing. "Morgan?" he called out again. He gripped his gun and slowly started down the hallway with a hand out in front of him. After walking a few feet, Hotch suddenly saw a light coming from a room in the hallway. He crept towards it, expecting anything to jump out at him. _

_Once he reached the door, Hotch gently pushed the door room and found himself in a conference room. _

_A conference room with six blood covered bodies scattered around the room floor._

_All six bodies were his teammates: Rossi, Prentiss, Garcia, JJ, Reid, and Morgan were lying dead on the floor. _

_Sitting above them was Foyet, who was fascinated by the crimson blood on the small knife in his hand. He looked up at Hotch and gave him a mischievous smile._

"_Aaron, Aaron, Aaron….look what you did. You couldn't protect your wife and now look- you can't even protect your team." Hotch gasped for air as the reality sunk in. Foyet walked up to him and put a hand on Hotch's shoulder._

"_Because of your incompetence….they're all dead."_

Hotch woke with a start at the touch of someone's hand on his shoulder. It was Allison who was holding onto his shoulder, her eyes filled with worry. He let out a gasp of air and scooted away from her. She pulled her hand back and said, "Aaron! Aaron, it's me. Allison."

_Wha-What happened?_ "All-Allison," he gasped, "Wha- time is it?"

"It's 2:30am."

"Um, ok. I'm ok." Hotch glanced down to his hands, which were shaking as they did when he was in his office with Reid a week earlier. He pulled them close to his body and looked at Allison.

"Nightmare?" she asked.

"Allison, I'm ok."

"I'm going to take that for a yes." Allison smiled at him when an interesting idea suddenly formed in her head. She held up a finger and said, "I'm not supposed to do this…but I'm going to break the rule anyway. We are going to go for a walk."

"What?" Hotch exclaimed as Allison sprinted out the door. She returned only a few minutes later with a wheelchair and a set of restraints. She pushed the wheelchair next to Hotch's bed and held out her hand to him. "Come on, it'll be good. You haven't left this room in four days."

"No, I don't think that'll be-"

"Aaron, don't make me pull you out of that bed. I'm small, but I'm strong. Come on."

_If it'll keep me from falling asleep, then I'll do it._ "Fine, but I don't want the restraints."

"Ah, there is no room for negotiations, Mr. Hotchner. Give me your hand." She smiled again when Hotch reluctantly placed his hand in hers. Allison then pulled him forward, causing him to slid out of the bed and land on a knee. _I can't even walk?_

"Aaron, you haven't walked in four days," Allison told him as she helped him into the wheelchair, "It's going to take awhile before everything is back in full motion."

She kneeled next to him and started to set up the restraints. Hotch rolled his eyes in response, causing her to say, "I can break the rules, but I don't break them stupidly. I cannot let a level four patient out without some form of restraints."

"What do you mean level four?" Hotch asked as Allison finished the second restraint and walked up behind him.

"It's our way of sorting our patients. Our director," Allison pushed the wheelchair forward towards the door, "implemented a new system where we do levels. Level one- you are here for just therapy. Level two- you are an admitted patient, but you have lots of freedoms and aren't so much of a worry for us. Level three- you are an admitted patient without the freedoms that a level two patient has. Level four-"

"Level four is suicidal."

"Yes- our level four patients are suicidal, clinically insane- our broken folks, as I call them."

"I'm broken, then." Allison stopped the wheelchair and leaned over Hotch. "Yes, but as I see it- broken things can always be fixed."

_I don't deserve to be fixed, _Hotch thought.

"So where did this nickname of Hotch come from?" Allison asked, pushing the wheelchair again.

"From my team; it kind of just started out of nowhere," Hotch answered quietly.

"I think it's adorable." Hotch gave her a disapproving looking causing Allison to laugh. She pushed the wheelchair to the left into a hallway lit by moonlight. "What? I think it's adorable! I personally like Aaron better, but hey, it's your team."

"Not anymore."

"A team is always a team, regardless if it is official or not. Aaron, they get a month of paid medical leave and they are spending every waking moment of it here."

_They shouldn't. They shouldn't. _Lost in his thoughts, Hotch accidently let his thoughts slip out, "They shouldn't-"

"Excuse me?" Allison stopped the wheelchair and walked around it, allowing her to kneel in front of Hotch."What do you mean- they shouldn't?"

"Allison, don't-"

"Noooo, Aaron, that's not going to work with me-"

"Leave it alone!"

"Aaron, what do you mean they shouldn't?" Hotch was now shaking along with tears welling up in his eyes. "Aaron?"

"They shouldn't be worried about me because I don't deserve it!"

_Bull's-eye, _Allison thought. "Oh, Aaron."

"I don't deserve any of this! I don't-I deserved to die- it should have worked- I –I should have-"

"Aaron, you did nothing to deserve this."

"I-Haley- they shouldn't worry- no one should-"

"Aaron, calm down," Allison whispered. She grabbed his hands and looked him directly in the eyes. "You do not deserve to die."

"I-I killed them-I- don't-I-"

"Aaron is that what your nightmare was about?"

"Ye-they-dead- Foyet- I don't-victims-lots of victims-"

"Aaron, you are having a panic attack. Look at me…umm; tell me about your family. Your sister in law and son were here earlier- tell me about them- talk about Jessica and Jack."

"Jack…..." Hotch whimpered, " I don't deserve Jack-"

"What happened with Jack today, Aaron?"

"Uh-he-he- brought me a card."

"Ok, what kind of card? Did he make it?"

"Ye-ye-yes, I think." Allison felt Hotch's hand shaking begin to slow down.

"Ok- what kind of paper? Is he a marker man or a crayon man?"

"Cra-crayons. …He chose blue on a green construction paper. My favorite color." Hotch's breathing had slowed down significantly.

"Good, now I'm going to ask you a hard question. What did you two talk about?"

Hotch let out a chuckle amongst his tears. "Super heroes. Jessica-she told him that I was at a super hero hospital."

"Ah and what did his super hero g-man father say?"

Hotch took a breath, feeling a return of control. "I told him that Daddy needed a break to get better."

"And was he ok with that?"

Hotch's mind suddenly went back to his son's brown eyes when Jack had said, _"Ok, Daddy. I hope you get ok soon so you can come home again."_

"He was- he's a strong boy from what he'd seen the last couple of months."

"Was he disappointed in you?"

"He's very young, but no- he didn't seem disappointed." _He deserves better, but…..he knows that I still love him. I'll always love him…._

"Aaron, in Allison's one-on- one session, we think out loud," Allison joked, snapping him out of his thoughts. She stood up as Hotch said, "You aren't a therapist."

"I know. I should be, huh?"


	18. Chapter 18

**Three weeks later- Bookends Café, Washing ton D.C**

"Don't forget- if you work hard, you can get join the FBI Academy and become an Agent someday," Rossi said to a young 12 year old, who nodded happily. His mother gave Rossi a thankful smile and walked away with her son. Rossi had just completed a lecture to a crowd of eager fans, some young and some old. He usually went on tours once a year, but the medical leave prompted him have another go locally.

Jenna, Rossi's assistant, sneezed, grabbing the Agent's attention. "Sorry sir, I-there is someone here to see you."

"No autographs right now, Jenna. I need a break." Rossi sat down on one of the bookstore's couches and sighed. Jenna hesitantly responded, "I think he works with you- tall, extremely handsome?"

"Morgan," he said. Rossi stood up and glanced over to the door, where he saw Morgan, waiting patiently.

"Morgan?" he called out as he approached his teammate. Morgan put his hands in his pockets and asked, "Can we talk?"

"Oh, yeah. Let me tell my assistant that I'm going to go on a break." Rossi turned to Jenna and said, "I'll be back in 20," to Jenna. She nodded and started to collect abandoned programs from empty audience member seats.

Rossi and Morgan stepped outside and started walking down the street. It was unusually warm for a February day, making the walk bearable.

After a few minutes of silence, Rossi asked, "So you took my advice?"

"Yeah and you were right- I do blame myself. I feel that maybe I shouldn't have said something."

Rossi smiled, "I have four words to describe your intentions- right idea- poor execution."

"I understand."

"You went rouge, but I know you care about this team." Rossi said. He stopped and shivered. Morgan sighed before saying, "So are we ok?" Morgan asked.

"Have you seen Aaron?"

"No."

"Go see Aaron and then ask me that same question," Rossi asked. He turned back to the bookstore and said, "I have to go- I'm doing another lecture on my book and I need to get some lunch. "

"Rossi, if I were Hotch, I wouldn't want to see me."

"Morgan, you do care about Hotch and the rest of us, right?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then, go see Aaron. You violated our trust immensely…but everyone has the right to earn it back. Ok?"

"Yeah- I'll head over there right now."

"Good- I also expect to see you visit the hospital more often and no more fighting with JJ and Prentiss any more. And for God sake's, Derek; please- no more grief on Garcia. She doesn't deserve it."

**Quantico Medical Center**

"Alright, our fourth session," Ames said as he sat down in the chair across from Hotch. "The question-"

"No-"Hotch stammered, giving Ames a glare. Not only did he not want to talk about the question, he did not want to do anything. For the past week, he had grown more and more exhausted and sick. The night before he had a high fever and threw up twice. Something was wrong, but Ames insisted on having a session today, regardless.

"Ok; we won't talk about it today. But keep in mind, Aaron, I won't let it go."

"Fine."

"Ok, so tell me about the team. I have never seen a team so dedicated to its leader before."

"I'm not the leader anymore."

"Aaron, you're the leader of that squad official or not. It seems like you guys are a family more so than a team."

"I- I would consider them to be very close, yes."

"What do you think they think of what you did?"  
>Hotch gave him a teary stare, lost for words. <em>- They must think so little of me.<em>  
>"Aaron, you don't think that they are disappointed in you, do you?" Hotch leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes with no response.<br>"Aaron, these people care about you. They are happy that you are still with us." He leaned forward, only to hear, "They shouldn't be."  
>"They have every right to- here, let's make a list of things that you have. Let's call it a reminder of the good things in life." Ames tore a sheet of paper from his notebook and looked back up to Hotch, "What first?"<p>

"Ok...my son...made me happy."  
>"That's good- we can put family. I'm sure you enjoy your sister in law and brother Sean right?"<br>"Yes."  
>"And your team?"<br>"They...they're family."  
>"Good. What else?"<br>"My job- I loved my job," Hotch answered.

"When did you find out about your job?"  
>"A few days ago. Agent Rossi had requested to do it when he felt that I was ready. It makes sense- the Bureau has no room for incompetence-"<p>

"Aaron, you are a very stubborn man. You aren't incompetent- I can promise you that. Don't let this hold you down- I've had agents come back from their darkest hours like you and reapplied to the bureau and got their jobs back."  
>Hotch swallowed, trying to hide his feelings. <em>They wouldn't take me back. Not after what I've done.<em>  
>"How do you feel about not being an Agent anymore?"<br>-_Like a failure._ "I'm fine," Hotch lied. Dr Ames smiled mischievously," Aaron…..You're lying."  
>"I'm fine, Dr. Ames. Really, I am." Hotch blinked and felt his vision go blurry, "Doctor, I really don't feel well- I need to lie down."<p>

"I understand. What's wrong?"

_I feel like death…."_ I'm alright- I just need to lie down. Just a bout of nausea."

"Alright, we can finish this next week. I hope you feel better." Ames stood up and turned around to see Allison at the door.

"There is someone here to see you, Aaron," Allison said hesitantly."I know you aren't feeling well, but this will only take a minute."

She stepped aside, revealing Morgan standing at the door. Ames quickly glanced between the two men before nudging Allison out the door. He turned back and said, "Five minutes."

Hotch slowly sat up, his head throbbing the entire time. He slid his legs off the bed and said quietly, "Morgan?"

"I know I haven't come by and it's been almost a month-"Hotch stood up and felt his feet wobble. His vision started to darken, causing his breathing to become rapid.

"Hotch, I know you -," Morgan continued. Hotch held out his hand to Morgan, close to collapsing.

"Hotch? Are you- sit down." Morgan grabbed Hotch's arm, but before he could say another word, Hotch collapsed into his arms.

"No-no-no, not again. Hotch?" Morgan shook Hotch's shoulders, but received no response. Morgan turned his head back and screamed, "Help!"

Allison busted in and exclaimed, "What did you do?"

"I didn't-he just"

"Oh, ok. Ok. See the button over his bed?" Allison pointed a small blue button a few feet above Hotch's bed. "Push it." Morgan handed Hotch over to Allison, who laid him onto the floor. Morgan hit the button to hear an alarm go off. Allison leaned over Hotch's chest and murmured, "Crap. Not today, Aaron."

She started to do compressions on his chest as nurses started to enter the room. Allison said between counts, "Cardiac- arrest- AED-Stat!"

Morgan stepped back as a nurse set up the AED and Allison gave two rescue breaths to Hotch.

_What did I do? What the hell did I just do? _Morgan thought.


	19. Chapter 19

**Quantico Medical Center- Emergency Room**

"What the hell happened?" Prentiss exclaimed as she marched towards Morgan. He put his hands up in defense, " I was with him for not even five minutes and then he collapsed."

"Why is it that every time you come within five feet of Hotch, something bad happens?" she nearly yelled, drawing attention to herself. Allison pulled Prentiss back and said, "Calm down, Emily. He didn't do anything- we have a virus running rampant through the psych ward. Everyone there is ill."

"Will he be ok?"

"Yes, he went into cardiac arrest due to a weakened immune system and what the doctors believe to be a major breakout of the flu. Last week, we had one patient that complained of flu like symptoms- he was taken out, but it spread like wildfire. Now we have 27, including Aaron, patients in psych with the flu."

"What?"

"He's ok! I kind of think Aaron hid the symptoms from us, which makes me a little mad, but they are giving antibiotics, IV fluids- the whole 9 yards. Doctors are running a blood test to check electrolyte balances, right now so we'll know everything for sure in a few hours."

"Ok- can I go see him?"

"Actually, he hasn't woken up since I restarted his heart. It'll be ok- the rest of the team and Miss Brooks are over in the waiting room. I promise you, Aaron will be fine. Just calm down." Prentiss nodded, gave Morgan a quick glare, and then walked down the hallway towards the waiting room. Morgan took a step forward, but Allison put a hand on his chest to stop him. "Uh, uh, mister. We need to have a chat. Plus, I don't want Jennifer, Emily, and Penelope all trying to kill you if you walk into that room right now. Come on- let me get you a coffee."

**Dining Room**

"You have dug yourself into a deep, deep hole, buddy," Allison said as she poured cream into her coffee.

"I know- I feel horrible," Morgan said sadly. Allison leaned forward to get his attention. " Derek, if I were you, I would be on the first plane to Mexico right now. I'm pretty sure Emily would have shot you if I wasn't there to stop her. But because you aren't a scardy cat like I am, I would be begging everyone on that team to forgive me, including Miss Brooks and Jack."

"Jack?"

"He's young, but he knows something is up. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. He knows everyone is mad at you right now, believe it or not. I would sit down with him and explain to him what's going on from your point of view."

"Ok, I'll do that. If I were them, I don't know if I could be forgiving. Hotch is- he could have died."

"True, but he didn't. It doesn't hurt to try, does it?"

"No. They'll shut me down."

"Do you know your team? Do they seem like the type of people to hold grudges?"

Morgan chuckled. "No, they're good people."

"Then you should be fine. Plus if at first you don't succeed, try try again."

Morgan nodded in agreement and took a sip of his coffee. He winced at the hot taste, causing Allison to laugh. " I think QMC has the hottest coffee on the planet. It's a little weird for a hospital, in my opinion."

Suddenly, Allison's pager went off in her pocket. She pulled it out and glanced at the small screen. She glanced over to Morgan, who gave her a very scared look. " Duty calls- I have to head back to psych and help move out healthy and sick patients."

She stood up, watching Morgan's near teary eyed expression. "If you want a place to think, go up to the third floor between the children's wing and the Cardiology wing. There is a beautiful walkway that we call " Spring Road" because of all the flowers and bunnies drawn on the walls and- anyway, it's between the two wards and many families go to for a moment of peace. There is also a church up there if you are a religious man. "

**Emergency Room**

Dr. Matthew Miles stepped around the hospital bed, allowing a small nurse in flowery scrubs to set up to take blood from his patient. The patient was sweating, burning up, and restless in his sleep. Miles pulled out a stethoscope and placed it on his patient's chest, completing a check of the lung and heart rhythms. He then watched his agitated patient and thought, _Aaron, what's going in that head of yours?_

_Creek, creek.__ Hotch continued down a long walkway with his hands trembling. The flashlight in his right hand only emitted a small dull light, only allowing him to see a few feet out in front of him. Foyet was here somewhere, ready for another round. He suddenly came across a realization- every time he found himself at guilt's door and came across Haley, Foyet had found him and killed him._

_Everytime._

"_Aaron….."he suddenly heard from behind him. He spun and saw nothing, only the endless corridor he was trapped in. Hotch turned back around and continued down the hallway, praying for any relief from the nightmare._

_After what felt like an eternity of walking, he came across a small wooden door, dangling off its hinges. Hotch pushed the door open and found a large empty bedroom with a young boy sitting on the floor playing with trucks, his back facing Hotch._

_The little boy hummed and continued to play with his action figures. He sounded so familiar….._

"_Hi, Daddy," the little boy said, turning around and revealing himself to be Jack._

"_Jack?" Hotch rushed over and kneeld down next to Jack. "What are you doing here?"_

"_Playin'."_

"_Why are you here?"_

"_I walk-ted here- I was sad 'cause you not here no-more."_

"_What? I'm right here, buddy." Hotch pulled the little boy into his arms and stood up._

"_Nuh-uh- you tri-ded to leave me and Auntie Jessy, Auntie Penny, Auntie JJ, Auntie Em'ly, Uncle Spen-cer, Uncle Dave, and Uncle Mor-gan."_

"_I know- I just-was so upset. I-I won't- "Hotch took a breath and said, " I won't ever tried to leave you again, buddy."_

"_Promise?"_

"_I promise," he hugged Jack tightly and felt a tear go down his check. He suddenly heard, " How sweet."_

_Foyet stood at the bedroom doorway with a small dagger in his hand. " Aaron Aaron Aaron, back for more pain?"_

"_Jack, go to the corner," Hotch whispered into his son's ear. He placed Jack down allowing him to run towards the corner. Halfway across the room, Foyet lunged at Jack, causing Hotch to run forward and tackle Foyet. Both tumbled into the hallway, Hotch hitting the wall and Foyet landing on his stomach. Hotch grabbed the pistol from Foyet's ankle holster and was kicked in the face by Foyet. He landed on his knees, allowing Foyet time to stand up. He growled at Hotch,__ "Let's finish this- once and for all."_

**Spring Road Walkway- Quantico Medical Center**

Morgan stood at the window on the walkway and looked towards the horizon. The scalding hot coffee cup felt numb to him as he stood nearly frozen as a statue.

"Derek?"

He looked up and saw JJ with a blanket on her shoulders. She walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. " You need some rest."

"I'm alright, JJ."

"Derek, please." She pulled the blanket off of her shoulders and held it out towards him. He reluctantly accepted it and wrapped it around his free arm. JJ pointed over to the small bench and said, " Come on. Let's sit and have a talk."

Morgan nodded and sat down on the bench. He placed the coffee cup on the floor next to him and turned back to her. " JJ, I'm so sorry for what I did. I know we should have worked on this together."

She sighed and whispered, " Derek, did you not trust the rest of us? We would have come up with something…..less stressful and where Hotch didn't get fired in the process."

"I know- I just….wanted to make sure he was in a safe place."

"I get it, but what was going after?"

"I don't know- I got out of control and I'm sorry for that."

"Hmmm…I see." She readjusted her position and laid her head against the wall. "Derek, you were horrible- I just- um- just get some rest, ok?" JJ stood up and continued, " I'm going to head home for a little and see my son. Ok?"

"Yeah. Thanks for the blanket, JJ."

JJ gave him a hesitant look before saying, " You're welcome, Derek."


	20. Chapter 20

**-5 hours later****  
><strong>"How's he doing?" JJ asked as she entered Hotch's hospital room. Garcia and Prentiss were sitting on the floor, both asleep. Reid was sitting in a chair next to the window, watching Hotch carefully. Rossi glanced up from his laptop and whispered," Same."  
>JJ looked over to Hotch and saw that he was still restless and feverish. She took a few steps closer and could hear his labored breathing and see that he was sweating. <p>

"How's Henry?" Rossi asked quietly, the clicks from the laptop keys filling the room.  
>"He's good- he's glad his mother is home." JJ ran a hand over Hotch's face and whispered," Come on, Hotch. You can beat this."<br>"If you want some time to say something, I can go and get a coffee," Rossi said as he placed his laptop on the chair next to him.  
>"I'm not saying goodbye or anything-"<br>"I know- everyone needs a little cheer squad here and there. It seems to help him, calm him. I'll be back."  
>"No- I don't mind if you're here. Plus, you need to get some rest."<br>Rossi chuckled." I'm alright, JJ."  
>"David Rossi, don't make me sic Allison on you," JJ joked with a nagging finger. Rossi smiled and plopped down into his chair. JJ turned back to Hotch and took a breath.<br>"Hotch, I know you feel like there is nothing left fighting for in the world, but remember that you have us. You're usually very private from the rest of us, but you're still family. I hope you can remember that- we love you and I hope you that you know that."

Hotch gave no response, still fighting against his demons in his nightmares…

_Hotch lunged__ at Foyet and slammed him against the wall. Foyet let out a laugh after Hotch punched him in the face. "You really think that's going to make a difference Aaron? I'm in your head!"__  
><em>_Hotch raised his hand to punch Foyet again, but stopped at the sound of Jack's voice. The sound of his son humming distracted him enough to take his attention of a Foyet and look down the hallway. He only found an empty hallway- Jack was nowhere to be seen and Foyet, who had been held against the wall by Hotch, had suddenly vanished. __  
><em>_"Jack!"Hotch sprinted back to the room and found Jack sitting in the corner playing with a small action figure. At the sight of his father, Jack exclaimed, " Did you get the bad guy, Da-ddy?"__  
><em>_"I don't know, buddy. He just disappeared when I thought of you. Everything stopped when I thought of you."__  
><em>_"I love you, Daddy," Jack said, wrapping his arms around his father's neck. Hotch picked him up and hugged him tightly, saying, "I love you too, Jack. __I'm so sorry..."_

Back in the hospital room, Reid suddenly jumped up from his chair and approached Hotch's bedside. Behind him, an exhausted Morgan crept into the room, trying to avoid the wrath of the women. Once Prentiss had spotted him and shot him a glare, Morgan stepped back and leaned against the wall next to the door. Reid gave him a welcoming look before turning his attention back to Hotch. 

The youngest profiler took a breath and said, "Hotch; I'm so sorry that I didn't come by sooner. I just couldn't see you like that. I-" Reid said softly. He trailed off as his wondered off, stopping at the sign of the Doctor Miles at the door. 

"I'm just here to check up on my patient," Miles said. The doctor entered the room, causing Rossi to say," Guys, let's give him space so he can do his job." The team quietly exited, leaving Miles alone in the room with the agitated patient.

"You're a popular guy," Miles said to a restless Hotch as he picked up the patient's charts. He ran a finger against the line listing Hotch's blood test results. While reading the chart, Miles turned around and suddenly heard a moan from Hotch.  
>"Mr. Hotchner?" Miles called out quietly.<br>"So-so-rry..." Hotch mumbled with his eyes still closed. His fingers twiddled as he repeated," So-rry."  
>"Aaron?"<br>Hotch's eyes fluttered open as he mumbled," Jack?" 

"Aaron, I'm doctor Miles and you're in the emergency room at Quantico Medical Center."  
>Hotch took a deep breath and glanced around the room.<br>"Aaron, I need you to repeat what I just said."  
>"Mmhmmm..." Hotch swallowed and said in a raspy voice," Dr. Miles...ER...Quantico Med-medical center."<br>"Good. Good- now do you remember what happened?"  
>"Foyet..."<br>"I'm sorry?" Miles pulled a thermometer out of his lab coat and placed in Hotch's ear. After a small beep came from the thermometer, Miles pulled it out and said," 103.6- still feverish. I'll be right back-ok?"  
>Hotch nodded and closed his eyes again. Once outside, Miles approached the team and asked," Who's Foyet and who's Jack?"<br>"Jack is Aaron's son," Rossi answered," And Foyet is a serial killer he came across when he worked for the FBI." Morgan instantly felt a glare from Prentiss and JJ. 

"Well, he's awake and he's asking for Jack. When I asked him about the last thing that he remembered, he mentioned the name Foyet."  
>The team exchanged nervous looks as Morgan said," The last time he came across Foyet was 12 weeks ago."<br>"Should we be concerned?" Prentiss asked.  
>"Not right now; he just woke up so he's a little out of it. Let's allow him to adapt before we make any conclusions. My primary concern is for him to see his son."<br>"I'll call Jessica," Garcia volunteered. She stepped away from the group and started dialing.

20 minutes later, Jack Hotchner swung his feet while sitting in booster seat in his aunt's car in the Quantico Medical Center. She had told him that they were going to see his father, which made the little boy happy. He had not seen his father in a month.

Jessica put the car in park and looked at her nephew through the rear view mirror. _Please don't let this be a mistake_, she thought before she said, "Jack, are you ready to go see your daddy?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed. He reached over and picked up a pile of pictures that he had drawn for Hotch and gave his aunt a thumbs up. She got out of the car, undid his seatbelt, and helped Jack out of the car. She kneeled down in front of him and asked, "Ok, now remember. Your dad is sick. So when you see him, you have to be gentle with him. Ok? Also, inside voices. "

"Ok, don't worry Auntie Jessy," Jack answered. He quickly glanced over to the building and smiled. "Let's go! I want to see Daddy!" She smiled back at him and headed with him inside.

Once in the emergency room, Jessica picked up Jack and spotted the team. She approached them and said nervously, "Here we are."

"Hi, Jack," JJ said softly at the sight of the little boy. "You ready to go see your daddy?"

"Uh, huh! Let's go!" Jack exclaimed. Jessica took a breath and reluctantly walked into the hospital room. Inside, Hotch was staring out the window, oblivious to his visitors. Jack let out a squeal, catching his father's attention. Hotch slowly turned his head towards the door before he mustered up a weak smile and croaked, "Jack?"

Jack answered, "Hi, Daddy. I came to visit and make you all better." Jessica placed him onto the bed and stepped back to give them some room.

Hotch sighed and pulled Jack into his arms. "Buddy, you came all the way here to see me?"

"Uh huh. And I drewed pictures for you like this one with a smiley face so you be better." Jack spread the photos on the bed next to them. "Are you getting' new supa- powers? Auntie Jessy said that you was getting' new supa- powers. Ooh- also, are you betta? Is the supa- secret cold gone yet?"

Hotch let out a cough and whispered, "Not yet, buddy. I'll be better soon. Ok?"

"Ok, Daddy."

Jessica suddenly said, " I feel horrible for doing this, but Jack we can't stay long. I don't want you to catch your daddy's super cold."

" OK- Auntie. Gotta go, Daddy. I hope you get better and can come home," Jack said as his aunt picked him up. He gave Hotch a small wave as Hotch whispered, " Ok. I….I love you, Jack."

"Love you too, Daddy. Bye-bye." Jessica wiped a tear from her face before saying, " Bye, Aaron." Almost immediately after they left, the team entered the room, all with happy looks on their faces. Hotch took a breath and said, " I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Nonsense, you did nothing wrong," Rossi said. Hotch nodded before a realization suddenly hit him. _I haven't been home in a month._

"It's been a month," he muttered quietly. JJ glanced over to her team mates and said, " Yeah…..We go back to work tomorrow."  
>"Oh." Hotch looked down at a spot on the bed and thought, <em>It's really been a month…..<em>  
>"Are you ok with us not being here?"<br>Hotch nodded," I'll be alright..."  
>"Hey, you'll be back on your feet before you know it," Prentiss said. Hotch nodded and sighed." It's late and you guys should get some rest," Hotch added softly. <em>I need some to think.<em>_ Alone._  
>"Are you sure?"<br>"Yeah- I'll be ok and...I'm actually...exhausted," Hotch answered with a sigh. "Don't worry about me."  
>"Unfortunately, we don't have a choice about that, Aaron," Rossi stated as he put his laptop in his bag," Until you're 100%, we will be worried about you." <p>

"Hotch, we'll stop by in the morning if we can, "JJ stated quietly. She walked towards the doorway with Garcia and Prentiss while Reid said," Night, Hotch."  
>Rossi gave Hotch a quick nod before following the young genius out the door. Morgan lingered for a moment, sending Hotch an apologetic look. Hotch only looked away in response, causing Morgan to quietly walk out.<br>_I screwed up a lot of things as of late_, Hotch thought as his eyes traveled back over to the window. "Penny for your thoughts?" he suddenly heard come from the doorway. It was Allison, standing at the door with a teary smile.  
>"Aaron Hotchner, don't you ever scare me like that again," she stated strongly. She walked up to his bedside and continued," You are one of the most difficult patients I've ever had. I am glad that you are ok. I'm off of work so now I get to yell out you for-"<br>"Foyet and Jack were in my dream."  
>"Oh, did you- how do you feel about that, Aaron?"<br>"I've screwed a lot up- my son, the team, my job- everything."  
>"You did no such thing! You aren't still blaming yourself for Haley's death, are you?"<br>"I don't know what to think about myself anymore" Hotch's eyes fluttered closed before he slowly opened them up a second later. "I do know that I have to be there for Jack." 

_That's a start_, Allison thought." Well to do that, you need your rest." Allison pulled the sheets up to Hotch's chest and said," Aaron, don't be so hard on yourself. Jack understands that his daddy had a bit of a rough patch and the team- the team will get over their silly little problems. In regards to your job-" Allison glanced between the door and the bed, only to find Hotch suddenly fast asleep. She smiled at the unusual calm on his face; in the one month that she had known Hotch, she had need seen him that calm before. Allison sat down on the chair next to Hotch's bed and joked quietly," Night, my little one."


	21. Chapter 21

Hotch woke the next morning to the sound of Allison humming and Prentiss and Rossi talking amongst themselves. He blinked and let out a yawn, which caught the attention of all three of them. Allison smiled and said, "Morning, sleepyhead."

"What time is it?" Hotch mumbled. He could see sunlight dripping through the window shades, having him guess it to be morning or noon.

"8:45 AM. You slept like a champ." Prentiss and Rossi smiled at him and Rossi said, "JJ, Garcia, and Reid were here about twenty minutes ago. They left to get to work early…which speaking of, we need to go."

"Morgan?"

"I didn't see him," Rossi said with a sigh, "I've been here since 8."

"He came at 7:15 and left about 7:45 this morning," Allison said. She expected some form of emotional response, but only found impassive looks on both profilers' faces. To Allison, Hotch's expression showed confusion, disappointment, and anger all at the same time._-Come on guys. It's something! _She thought.

"Oh, well- at least he came," Prentiss answered, her voice filled with annoyance. She threw her bag over her shoulder and said in a joking, but sad manner, "Stay out of trouble. Just because we're back to work, doesn't mean we won't be here for you."

Hotch nodded and mumbled, "Ok."

Allison smiled and crossed her arms. "I'll watch him like a hawk. Scout's honor."

"That's all we ask."

**FBI Office**

"First day back," Rossi muttered as he unlocked the door to his office. He planned on spending the morning catching up on his work before swinging by the hospital with Prentiss and JJ during lunch. He pushed open the door, but heard "Agent Rossi!" before he could step into the room.

He turned to see Strauss standing next to a short gentleman, who Rossi recognized to be Agent Daniel Camen, one of the eldest agents in the bureau. "I need you and your team in the conference room as soon as possible."

"Not even five minutes, Erin?" Rossi asked, earning a glare from the Section Chief. He watched Strauss and Camen enter the conference room and turned to the bull pen where he yelled, "Guys!"

Prentiss and Reid looked from their desk in confusion. "Gather the team, "he directed and headed to the conference room.

-5 Minutes later-

"First, I would like to say welcome back," Strauss stated as the team stood in a corner of the room. There were five younger agents sitting where the team usually sat in the conference room.

"Secondly, I brought you here to tell you that for awhile, Agent Camen will be running bought the A and the B team."

"What?" Morgan exclaimed, "….ma' am."

"I think the team needs leadership from someone outside of your group. Until I find someone, Agent Camen will run both teams. So for the case in Wyoming that you will all head to today, both of the teams will go. Play nice and good luck in Wyoming." Strauss briskly left the room before anyone could say anything.

_That has got to be a record for stupidity for Erin_, Rossi thought. Agent Camen coughed to get all eleven individuals' attention.

"I would like to say welcome back for the A squad. I hope medical leave went well?"

JJ looked at Camen with a confused look, "I guess…."

"Excellent. Now, we all are on the same level here and I hope that we can work together until you all get a new Unit Chief."

"Or one that doesn't go crazy," sniped one of the agents sitting at the table. Morgan took a step forward to defend Hotch, but Rossi out a hand in front of him to stop him. "It's not worth it."

Camen ignored the agent's comment and said, "B team- go get ready for the flight; I need to speak with the A team."

Once the other team left, Camen turned to the A team. "I've heard a lot about all of you- breaking rules-"

"We didn't break any rules- "Garcia said.

"It's sir on my team. Here are the rules- we follow order on my teams. Miss Garcia, no inappropriate conversation or dress, Agents Prentiss and Jareau- I don't want to hear anything about your own personal lives. Agent Morgan- you pull one stupid stunt and you are off this team, and Agent Rossi- you need to understand that I am in charge and that you are on the same level with the rest of the team. And no nicknames between all of you- that especially goes for you, Miss Garcia. It's these things that made your team fall apart in the first place- you all are too close for a team. So, until you get a strong, efficient leader, you will follow my rules. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir," the team replied, exchanging nervous and annoyed glances amongst themselves.

"Good, now here's how this team will function. Everyone will work on a certain aspect- Victomology will be done by Agents Rossi and Jareau. Interviews with families will be done by Agents Prentiss and Morgan. Agent Reid will work on geographic profiles and any technical information. Everything else will be done by me. Also, my team will take point on this and future cases until I deem you all strong enough to function on your own. Plane leaves in an hour. Go."

_This is going to be interesting, _Rossi thought as he watched his team mates scatter.

**Quantico Medical Center**

"Now take a deep breath for me, Aaron," Miles commanded as he placed a stethoscope on Hotch's back. Hotch attempted to take a breath, but only let out a heavy cough. Miles took off the stethoscope and said, "Lungs are still pretty weak. Aaron, you're still pretty sick, but today I want to get some food in you. Just a little and it's going to be rough especially since you stopped eating regularly- what was it, two months ago?"

Hotch only gave Miles a blank look before saying, "Two and a half."

"OK- two and a half months. One of the nurses will bring you up a small bowl of broth and we'll start from there. Ok?"

Again, Hotch paused before answering quietly, "Ok."

Allison watched Miles leave before turning to Hotch and said, "By the way, you will be eating it- if I have to force it down your throat, I will."

Hotch turned his head away from her causing her to ask, "Earlier, why did you ask about if Morgan came to visit?"

"I don't know," Hotch mumbled. Allison stepped by his bed and asked, "Are you….wanting to talk to him?"

"No."

"So I guess that means that you are still mad, huh?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Allison opened her mouth to respond, but stopped at the sight of a nurse in yellow scrubs bringing in a tray of broth and a small cup of water. Allison said to the nurse, "I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure, ma am?"

"Yep- I can take care of it."

"Ok." The nurse quickly left, leaving Hotch and Allison alone. Allison picked up the spoon from the tray and dipped it into the bowl. "Aaron," she responded, motioning to take a sip. He only shimmied away from her, nearly falling out of the bed. Allison grabbed his arm and glared at him.

"Aaron, take a sip."

"No."

"Aaron, you really want me to force feed you?"

"Allison, don't- just-"

"I'll call Jack for you." Hotch stopped fidgeting and stared at Allison in shock. "You're serious?"

"I'm super serious- you take….five super sips and I'll call your son and allow you to talk to him. It's either that or you wait till later and get a shorter phone call under Jessica's watchful eye."

_-I have to talk to him._ "Ok," Hotch said with a sigh. He sat up as far as he could and put out a trembling hand towards the bowl. Allison grinned and held the spoonful of room temperature broth in front of him.

Hotch took a sip and instantly grimaced- his sore throat did not deal well with the soup. Allison laughed and said, "You remind me of my son when he's trying something new!"

Hotch coughed and gasped, "That was- that was one. Another."

"Alright, mister. Time for number two- here comes the airplane-"

"Don't." Hotch took another sip, this time tolerating the broth a little better.

"That's two." She dipped the spoon once again and Hotch sipped it almost instantly. Within a minute, Hotch finished five sips. His eyes quickly traveled over to Allison's purse when she immediately said, "Wow, slow down there. I'm going- I'm calling."

She picked up her small silver cell phone and dialed Jessica's number. Hotch let out a few coughs as Allison spoke to Jessica and suddenly said, "Hey, Jack. Do you remember me? I'm Miss Allison- I'm making your Daddy a superhero again. Do you want to speak to him?"

She turned to Hotch and said on the phone, "Alright, here he is." She placed the phone next to Hotch's ear. He took a small breath and answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, Daddy," Jack answered. Hotch placed his hand over Allison's hand over the phone. "Hey, buddy," he answered, his voice slightly stronger.

"Are you better yet?"

A tear rolled down Hotch's cheek. "No, not yet, buddy."

"OK, Daddy. When you come home, are you gonna be able to fly? Auntie Jessica said that you is gonna get new powers!"

Tears were now running down Hotch's face. "I hope so buddy; I really do."

"I hope so too- if you could fly, you could catch bad guys faster! Daddy, what kind of super heroes are there at the superhero hospital you're at?"

Hotch wiped his face and said in a shaky voice, "So many, Jack. How about you name one and I'll tell you if they are here?"

"Ok-is Batman there?"

On the other side of the room, Allison sat down in the chair and pulled out a Vogue magazine, leaving father and son to reconnect.

**Flight to Cheyenne, Wyoming**

"We have twelve dead bodies in Cheyenne, boys and girls," Camen said as the jet ascended into the air. Rossi bit his lip and thought, _I've known him for an hour and I already truly hate this man._

Camen turned to his group of agents and asked, "Theories, anyone?"

The smallest agent of the B squad- a small Asian female- piped, " The unsub is burning them is public places- it reminds me of some of the acts of terrorist groups-"

"You think this is a terrorist?" Rossi blurted out. Camen turned and glared at him. " Agent Rossi, do not speak out of turn." Rossi muttered, "Yes, sir," in response and sat back in the chair. Camen turned to the young agent and said, " Continue."

"Like I was saying, sir, it mirrored the act of a terrorist group. We should look into any groups on the area that have the possibility of becoming violent. Also, all the victims were young adults, age 19-25: the unsub could be holding a vendetta against that age group- we need to look into any grudges in the area."

_In a town on 60,000, it could be an array of things,_ Rossi thought. The jet leveled causing all eleven agents to settle in their seats. As the young agent continued to talk, JJ looked back behind her to see Reid staring aimlessly out the window. She quickly glanced over to Camen and his agent cautiously before quickly unbuckling her seatbelt and darting over to Reid's side.

"You alright, Spence?" she asked quietly, hoping not to draw Camen's attention. He shrugged and answered, " I guess- I just feel weird leaving Hotch. I keep feeling like-"

"We're going to get another phone call that he actually tried again and succeeded? Yeah- everyone is worried about that. But Spence, Hotch would want you to be focused on the case and less about him."

"But JJ," Reid whispered, " I feel like he's going to-"

"Agent Jareau! Agent Reid! Is there something that you want to share with the rest of us?" both agents suddenly heard, causing them both to nearly jump out of their seats. Camen smiled maliciously, expecting both agents to make a fool out of themselves. Reid looked to his team mates then answered, " The fact that they were burned in public isn't necessarily terrorism. In the days of medieval times, burning someone alive in public places was also done as a form of punishment. Some historians say…."

As Reid continued to rant, his team members sat back and enjoyed Camen's cocky expression turn into horror. The Agent snapped after a minute, " I get your point, Agent Reid. Enough!"

He turned back to his agents and began to discuss the case.

Rossi took the opportunity to walk over by and sit next to JJ and Reid. He said in a low voice, " When the jet lands and Camen's team goes off, we will run through the case by ourselves and see if there is something that we can come up with."

Prentiss, who was sitting in front of JJ, turned and whispered, " Even if we do find something, Camen won't take it from us."

"Well then, let's review it as if Hotch were here." The seatbelt sign suddenly turned on, prompting Morgan and JJ to return to their seats. Rossi stayed back and said to Reid, " Spencer, I'm sorry about any bad behavior of mine towards to you since San Francisco."

Reid hesitated before saying, " It's ok- I'm sorry if I was a pest."

"You were never and never have or will be a pest, Spencer Reid. You may rant, but even that," Rossi pointed over to Camen, who still appeared to be annoyed with Reid's comments, "is a skill that when used at the right time is brilliant."


	22. Chapter 22

After the hour long conversation Hotch had with Jack, Hotch had fallen asleep again and found himself once again back in another nightmare…..

_Hotch blinked twice before he realized that he was in a basement. He was alone and was wearing a Kevlar vest and had his gun in his right hand. He stepped forward, watching out for any appearances of Foyet or Haley.…_

_He suddenly heard screams bellow throughout the basement. Hotch then dashed towards a small room at the other end of the basement and pushed the door open._

_What he saw made him nearly fall to his knees._

_Hotch felt himself begin to cry as he slowly stepped into the room. Once again, the team was lying dead on the floor. All appeared to have been shot and stabbed. Hotch bent down next to Garcia, who was lying on her back with a glossy empty stare on her face. He whimpered through tears, " I'm so sorry."_

"_Why weren't you there, Aaron?" Hotch suddenly heard in his ear. It was Foyet's voice in a taunting tone " Why did they die? Why is it that your incompetence killed them?"_

"Aaron?" Hotch nearly jumped up at the sound of Ames' voice. The psychiatrist gave his patient a worried look. " Are you alright?"

"I'm-I don't-I don't- why are you here?"

"I wanted to check on you- you are my patient. Is there something you want to talk about? Did you have another nightmare?"

_For Jack- do it for Jack. _"Yes, actually yes."

"What was it about?"

"My team."

"Ok- what happened?"

"I'm worried about them."_ I'm scared for them….._

"What happened in the nightmare?"

"Someone told me," Hotch said quietly, ignoring Ames' question, " that the team is having problems. Is that true?"

"Well, your team _is_ having difficulties right now, but you shouldn't worry about it. You are here to focus on _you_. "

"I can't, they're my team. I can't let it go. What's exactly going?"

"Aaron, I really don't think-"

"I need to know," Hotch's voice shook, "I can't- I need to know. I- I keep having a nightmare…where I find my team dead. All of them. And in each nightmare, it's my fault." He took a breath and asked, " Is the team falling apart because of me?"

**Quantico Medical Center- 24 Hours Later**

Allison picked up a nearly filled cup of coffee and looked up to see the team, all very unhappy, walking towards her in the hospital's main entrance. "How was the case?" Allison called out to Rossi. He gave her an annoyed look and said, "Horrible yet short. "

Morgan, who was walking behind the group, said, "Our new Unit Chief is an ass."

"Well, you edging him on at the Cheyenne police station really helped," JJ muttered. Morgan stopped in his tracks and exclaimed, "I didn't do anything."

JJ turned around and put her hands on her hips. "Arguing with Camen over the profile was a brilliant idea. Now, he's going to burry us in paperwork for the rest of our lives! I have to miss my son's Daycare picture day because of you!"

"JJ-" Morgan raised his voice, but stopped at Rossi's authoritative glare. He took a step back and said, "You're right, JJ. I'm sorry."

"Wait-, Dave! I saw that look!" Prentiss exclaimed.

"What look?"

"I saw that look like- did you talk to Morgan?"

"Did you just profile me?"

"No- I'm not accusing you of anything-"

"Actually, you were," Reid said.

"Spence, don't," JJ said quietly.

"It's the truth!" he exclaimed as Allison glared at the team angrily. She pointed to the nearby conference room and growled, "Go- now."

As soon as the team entered the room, Alison yelled, "I'm trying to be impartial with you all- it's the requirement of working in the medical field, but I can't do that anymore. So for the next five minutes, I'm going to break all the rules and everything because I actually care about all of you guys and Aaron! First, we need to figure out what's going on here because nearly three months of this is ridiculous! First, Derek-"she turned to him, "you already know this, but nobody except for Spencer likes you right now! You need to get on your damn knees and beg for forgiveness. I do applaud you for backing down-yeahhhh- you need more of that. Now sit." Morgan sat down at one of the chairs, wide eyed at Allison.

"For the rest of you, Derek screwed up and he's sorry. His actions regarding Aaron were bad, yes. He violated everyone's trust, yes. But he's sorry!- think back, does that sound like the Derek Morgan that you all know and deep down love? Spencer, I know you and Morgan are on good terms, so don't answer that."

JJ rubbed her shoulder and thought, _That's been the problem- the Derek I knew, would never ever do something like this._

"Everyone screws up- if Aaron had died, I don't know if Morgan would even be here. The guilt and worry is all over his face, his body moves- everything. You don't need to be a profiler to figure that out." A moment of silence passed before Allison continued. "Dave, you seem to be cooling down, so you may sit. JJ, you like everyone else has serious trust issues with Morgan. Understandable, but I think you need to move on from it."

"Next, Spencer. I read a lot of crime novels as a child and you sound like the victim of opportunity. I truly doubt that Emily and Dave hate you. Ok?"

Reid nodded quietly and sat down. Allison smiled and cupped her hands. "Emily, you don't trust Morgan-etcetera; you need to stop taking your anger out on Spencer. You also need to go to a spa; La Fleur is excellent- it will knock those angry kinks out really quickly- you know what? Us girls can go there this weekend- boys are invited as well." Rossi snorted along with a giggle from JJ.

"Derek, you owe Penelope a cruise, a dinner at the most expensive restaurant, and a whole bunch of things. Go beg for forgiveness-now."

"Finally, something serious. We were planning to move Aaron out of the emergency wing and into our level 3 patient status tomorrow, but he said something that frightened his psychiatrist. Usually, I wouldn't be able to tell you, but under our level 4 program, Aaron is under Jessica's guardianship. She was told this morning of what the concern was and she asked me to talk to you all about it.

Aaron is having nightmares- bad nightmares about all of you. He finds you all dead in a room- shot, stabbed, whatever- and he's had multiple of these. He somehow connected it to be his fault and that his breakdown caused the riff between you all. It's a leader's worse nightmare- his team, his family is falling apart and in his eyes it's his fault. These problems that all of you have are insignificant- you all would take a bullet for each other, but right now- it's about Aaron. He's been through hell! All of you are on his list of things to fight for, which means you all have to show that living is _worth_ it. I'm not saying for you all to pretend that everything is ok, but the least you can do is let the little stuff go and move on. Aaron- try to think how he feels right now- he needs all of you to be there for him. As a family."

_I feel horrible, _Reid thought, _I've been so scared to visit him….._

"So right now, you all need to go home. Aaron's asleep right now."

"How long is he going to be stuck at level four now?" Morgan asked.

"A week- March 14. He can only be moved up or down a level during his appointment with Ames. "

"I feel horrible," Reid repeated aloud.

"That wasn't the point. I hope I didn't guilt of you into submission."

"No, Allison, you did your job," Rossi answered, "Thank you for that."

"You're welcome." Allison inhaled and said, "Now get on home. Get some rest."


	23. Chapter 23

Lost in a thought, Morgan followed his teammates out of the hospital conference room and towards the exit. All were quiet; Morgan wondered who would make the first move. He knew that he had a lot of explaining and begging to do- he had no idea who to start with. Hotch was sleeping, so he was out, Prentiss and JJ appeared to be still angry, he may have already started to earn back Rossi's trust, which left…

"Penelope!" Rossi called out, bringing Morgan out of his thoughts. The technical analyst was standing next to the emergency room front desk with her hands digging through her purse. She looked up as Rossi said, "He's alright. He's sleeping right now so it's best to head home and get some rest."

"Ok, ok. I-I'll do that," Garcia immediately turned back to her purse and returned to digging through her purse. Rossi, Prentiss, and JJ nodded and started to walk towards the exit. Reid stayed behind and asked quietly, " Do you need some help?"

Garcia smiled. " No sweetie, I just lost my keys. Thanks for asking," she answered softly. Reid returned a weak smile and left.

Morgan stood back and stared at Garcia. He could hear her mumble, " Stupid keys," before she glanced up suddenly and caught Morgan's stare. He gave her a gentle smile, but she blinked nervously before walking away. _She's still hurt, _Morgan sadly thought. _I need to fix this. Now._

Outside the hospital, Garcia stood in front of her car, still fumbling for her keys. Her purse was almost completely filled- she was going to dump her purse, but the sight of Morgan made her quickly change her mind. She was not afraid of him, but just nervous. Just like everyone else, she needed space away from him. The things that had been said between the two had been horrible, even demeaning at times.

Garcia growled in annoyance as she dumped her purse on the roof of the car. She was about to kick her car, but heard, " Looking for these?"

She turned to see Morgan standing next to her with her keys in his hands. "You dropped them on the floor in front of the front desk," he finished.

"Thanks, but I'm still mad at you," she stated. She started to put her stuff back into the purse.

"I don't expect you to forgive me. I said things to you that shouldn't have been said and I'm sorry for that," Morgan stated, " You deserved better- I just got so stressed out that I took my anger out on you like Prentiss did to Reid. "

Garcia turned to him. " I- I don't- You really hurt me, Derek."

"I know and I know that it will take some time to get back to where we were, Baby girl. I promise you that I'll take as long as it takes to have you forgive me. "

"Derek-I kept telling myself that traumatic things bring out the worse in people- I saw a side of you that I didn't think existed…..but I know that you're a good person. You always have been and always will be," Garcia sighed and said, " I….I forgive you."

"Thanks, Penelope," Morgan whispered, pulling her into a hug. She hugged him back tightly, a sudden warm feeling returning back to her. She lifted her face up and said, " You have to promise me that you won't be dark and evil like that ever again."

"I promise. We have a long road ahead of us, don't we?"

"You say that like I'm your wife or lover or something," Garcia joked.

"You know I love you right?" he kissed her cheek, causing her to giggle. He stepped back and said, " See you tomorrow?"

"Of course, my handsome prince. Oh! By the way, just because I forgave you doesn't mean you're totally in the clear. You are on probation, buddy."

"Of course. Good night, Penelope."

"Night." She watched him walk away with his hands in his pocket. _There's the Derek I once knew and loved…_

2:30am

"Hello?" Rossi answered his cell phone in a groggy tone. He heard Allison's panicked voice say, "Dave, I know that you guys just got back and-and-"

"Did something happen?"

"Aaron had another nightmare- he woke up in tears, incredibly upset and was screaming out for you guys. He spiked a low fever, but in the panic, he went into a coughing fit which resulted in the doctors doing an intubation on him- basically putting a tube down his throat to help him breathe. He's still upset and he needs to see all of you."

"They called you?"

"Miss Brooks called me after they called her. I'm sitting in the cafeteria watching Jack and my son. I know you were just here, but-"

"Of course, of course. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. Have you spoken with the-"

"I've called Derek, Emily, and JJ. I just need to call Spencer and Penelope."

"Ok- do that."

"Alright, see you soon."

Within fifteen minutes, JJ entered Hotch's hospital room and found him lying restless on the bed. She quickly went to his side and grabbed his hand. " Hotch, I'm here. I'm here."

He blinked and continued to fidget, causing JJ to say, " You feel this?" She squeezed his hand tightly, " This is me. I'm here- I'm not hurt. None of us are, Hotch." She stared into his eyes as she heard the rest of the team quietly enter the room.

"Hotch, see we are all ok! None of us are hurt- the nightmare isn't real, Aaron. With what's being going on between the team, the team is all so scared for you. The way that this was dealt with made some people angry with each other. "

Morgan, who was standing behind Rossi, thought, _You don't need to cover it up, JJ. It's the way I dealt with it._

Hotch gave her a nod and relaxed his body. Prentiss added, "Hotch, we'll be ok. We just have a few things to work out. Don't worry about us- I promise you that we'll be ok."

Rossi stepped away from Morgan and asked, "Do you want us to stay the night?"

_No, I think I need to deal with this on my own. I need to deal with this for Jack. _Hotch nodded no which was followed by three, "Are you sure?"

_Yes- I need to fight this on my own. I need to fight for Jack. _He lifted his arm and gave them a weak thumbs up.

"Ok- if you need us, just call," JJ said. She turned and left with the rest of the team. Hotch thought; _I need to figure this out right now. I think I have to break the profiler's rule..._

He closed his eyes and replayed the behavior's of the team through his head.He thought back to the day when he attempted suicide: right before Garcia had fallen asleep, he remembered hearing arguing coming from the living room. At the time he was so upset that he had ignored it, but now…..

_Think…..arguing….Jessica and Jack! Maybe people are blaming each other for how this turned out….._

Hotch thought back to when the team was all standing in the room: Morgan was behind Rossi-_I don't even want to think about Morgan right now….move on._

Reid appeared to be comfortable standing next to JJ, but had avoided Rossi and Prentiss on all other occasions. _He's a good kid, but both have a much stronger personality than he does. Prentiss is strong minded and more likely to hold grudges…Reid is going to deal with this in the way that he does, which may not go so well with Prentiss' way of handling things….._

Garcia had appeared more relaxed standing to Morgan than she had since the case in San Francisco- _Morgan's stubborn personality against Penelope's gentle personality…..Now that I think about it, I haven't actually seen those to act like themselves since San Francisco. Penelope- I shouldn't have done this with Penelope being in the apartment. She's…this is going to haunt her for awhile…I shouldn't have taken advantage of that….._

JJ and Rossi seemed to appear on good terms with everyone except….Morgan. _Dave will let it go eventually….JJ is more forgiving…._

_Once I get this thing out of me, I'll talk to them about this. _Hotch suddenly felt himself want to smile- the memory of Rossi and him sitting in the office one night about the younger members being like their children came to mind. _I thought I taught them better than that…._

He started thinking about good times that he had with the team: getting Chinese after a few cases, Garcia's Christmas gift exchange, and even dealing with Reid's "magic" tricks. From outside the room, Allison watched the tense expression disappear from Hotch's face as he drifted to sleep. She smiled and thought, _I think that's the calmest I've seen him since I met him nearly three months ago….good._


	24. Chapter 24

FBI Office

Later that morning, JJ yawned and took a sip of the Café mocha in her hand. The elevators opened in front of her and she stepped out onto the floor of the BAU. She only made it a few feet before she saw two agents carrying boxes from her office. Garcia stood next to the door exclaiming, "Be gentle with that stuff! It's JJ's stuff!"

JJ walked up to Garcia and said as calmly as she could, "What are they doing to my office?"_Don't pull out your gun to shoot Camen. Don't pull it out…._

"Agent Camen thought it'd be better if the senior agent on his team had his own office instead of sitting in the bullpen. Out of all the possible offices in the world, he took yours."

"OK. Ok." JJ took off her holster and handed it to Garcia. "I need you to hold this before I lose my mind and go shoot Camen."

"He took Hotch's office," Garcia blurted out. JJ's eyes widened and she took another sip of her coffee. _Maybe it'd be best for Camen if I took the day off because I'm so mad…_

"Penelope….I'm going to take a walk around the block…just to cool down, you know. Is there any more fun surprises that….I should be aware of before I walk into the bullpen?" _Is there anymore reasons for me to want to shoot Camen?_

"No, not right now, but the day is young," Garcia whimpered. "Prentiss and my super hot- when- he's -angry darling Derek are downstairs in the shooting range…._dealing_ with the changes Camen is dishing out. Rossi's taking a walk and boy wonder is hiding somewhere in the building to read or something. Oh- we are also having a super secret meeting to figure out a way not to lose it and kill all of his little evil pain-in-the butt minions at Hotch's during hour lunch hour."

"Ok-wait, our lunch hour? It's rare for all of us to get lunch at the same time."

"Yeah, Camen thought it'd be better that from 12-1, the A squad goes to lunch, and then B squad goes to lunch 1-2:30. "

"Why-" JJ felt her blood pressure spike, "does the squad ranked lower than us-the b squad-get 30 minutes more lunch than we do?"

"Because the best isn't good enough for him- he's in love with the second best?"

JJ smirked and said, "Alright, then. If you need me, I will be in the shooting range. Wai- Prentiss and Morgan are in the shooting range? Together?"

Garcia gave a blank look. " Yeah…"

"Are you sure they aren't trying to shoot each other right now?"

"Umm…oh crap."

FBI Shooting Range

Prentiss shot off two shots before sliding another clip into her pistol. She was feeling a mix of emotions- extreme anger towards Strauss and Camen, guilt from the conversation the day before, and sadness. Morgan was in the booth next to her, silently going through rounds just as she had. A part of her missed him, yet another part was still mad- he had violated her trust immensely and acted in a manner she didn't believe was possible from him.

Morgan let off four shots before placing his pistol down and taking a breath. The guilt was hurting immensely- he had screwed up in handling Hotch's situation and now the team was paying for it immensely with Camen. A part of him felt that if Camen had let him go from the team, he wouldn't be missed by Prentiss, Rossi, JJ, or Hotch. The only thing that helped him get up that morning was the idea that he had earned his way back into somewhat good graces with Garcia and Rossi.

Prentiss sighed before standing in her shooting stance and glancing over to Morgan. He was staring at her sadly, nearly making her heart drop. She saw guilt and sadness in his eyes- a look that showed that he wanted to atone for what he had done. They stared at each other for another minute until JJ entered the range and called out, " Hey."

Prentiss snapped out of her daze and placed her weapon down. "I guess you saw what Camen was up to this morning."

"Yeah- I'm just glad you two didn't shoot each other." JJ avoided eye contact with Morgan and kept her focus on Prentiss. "I came here down to get a few shots off as well."

"Join the club. Rossi and Reid should be down here before our lovely work day starts."

"Ah…have any of you checked on Hotch this morning?"

"No," Morgan said quietly. Prentiss answered, " I called this morning and they said that he was sleeping, so that's good." She quickly glanced to Morgan who was sadly staring at the ground.

Suddenly, the three agents heard, "Guys, Camen is looking for us." Reid stood at the shooting range entrance. "He sounds really mad."

Prentiss rolled her eyes. "When he not pissed with us?"

Morgan and JJ started towards the entrance, but Prentiss hesitated and stayed where she was, a sudden realization hitting her. _I have to let it go…..I think I have to forgive him._


	25. Chapter 25

Noon- Quantico Medical Center

"How exactly did you finish your paperwork, again?" Reid asked as he followed JJ through the hallway to Hotch's room.

"Why are you so surprised, Spence?"

"Well, I usually always finish first-" JJ laughed and felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled out and saw that she had received a text from Camen.

_Pick up coffee for B team before lunch hour ends, _JJ read from her text. She gripped her phone tight causing Reid to ask, " What's wrong?"

"Camen wants me to do coffee runs. I might-I don't know- I'm just so mad. Come on, let's go see Hotch quick before Camen has me doing something else." JJ turned the corner and stepped into Hotch's room, finding the ex Unit Chief watching the news.

"Hotch?" JJ asked curiously.

"I woke up….and for the first time since January…..I found myself curious about…..I can't believe it's March 8."

"They never told you what the day was?"

"No- I guess, I didn't want to know either." He turned the TV off and looked over to both JJ and Reid. "I need to talk to you both."

The two agents exchanged a nervous look before Reid sat down on a chair and asked, "About what?"

"The problems between the team. I need to know- I don't want to be the cause of the team falling apart."

"The team isn't falling apart," Reid said. JJ put a hand on the bed rail and said, " You aren't causing the problems, it's-"

"Morgan?" _I didn't expect him to tear the team apart…._Hotch thought.

"Here's what's going on: I am upset with Morgan..because I wanted everyone to sit down and talk to you- I didn't want you to get fired and I definitely didn't want to have you dragged home, kicking and screaming. No offense, Hotch, but you're stubborn and were an authority figure at the time- we had to find a way to tread softly on the issue."

"At first, " Reid added, " I only saw it as you going home- I didn't expect everything to turn out like this. I'm sorry, Hotch."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Spencer," Hotch answered, "Is it just Morgan?"

"Emily is mad at me," Reid blurted out, "Rossi was too, but I think we're ok now. I don't know why-"

"You take things differently than most people do, Reid. I think that sometimes goes against her personality. "

"I guess…" Reid trailed off. JJ felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket again, causing her to growl in annoyance. Hotch coughed and slowly forced himself up into a sitting position. JJ pulled out her phone and muttered a curse under her breath.

"Camen again?" Reid asked quietly at JJ's angry look. Hotch watched them carefully, trying to pick up the body languages regarding their attitude towards Camen. _I haven't met the man, but it doesn't sound like the team is having a good time with him…_

Suddenly out of nowhere, Hotch blacked out- for what seemed like a second, he found himself back in the bedroom where he had found Haley's body. Foyet was leaning over Haley's body, admiring his work. "Look what you did, Aaron," Foyet said before Hotch opened his eyes again and saw JJ, Reid, and two nurses staring at him nervously.

"I'm alright. I'm alright," he muttered. JJ let out a sigh of relief and gasped, " Hotch, don't ever scare me like that again."

One of the nurses said calmly, "It's probably due to low blood sugar-we're going to get him eating." JJ felt her cell phone vibrate again and nearly threw it towards the wall, but Reid grabbed the phone from her hand before she could. "I think we should head back before JJ loses her mind. Are you sure that he'll be ok?" he asked the nurses.

"Yes, he will. Don't worry."

Hotch asked before JJ and Reid turned to leave, "What is so important that he keeps texting you?"

"The B squad wants me to pick up coffee before they go on their 30 minutes longer than ours lunch break. I don't even know if Rossi, Emily, and …Morgan will get off for a lunch break at all today. I don't even know if Penelope has a lunch break and he blatantly took your office. He put your stuff in a box and left it by the stairs. I'm still pissed at Morgan, but I kind of wished that Rossi hadn't stopped Morgan from nearly punching Camen in the face."

"He sounds horrible," Hotch said quietly. JJ smiled and thought, _He's_ _getting involved and is concerned. This is good- no, this is excellent._

"He kicked me out of my office," JJ added.

Hotch turned his head towards her. " On what grounds?"

"I don't know- on not being his favorite?"

"That's ridiculous. "

Hotch, what do you want us to do with your stuff?" Reid asked. It was the question the team had been debating asking Hotch all morning. Reid watched Hotch stare at him while thinking, _Please don't say I don't care or I don't want them. Please._

"Can you put them in my apartment?"Both agents smiled back at him; both found it nearly impossible to hide their excitement.

_Buzz_. JJ's eyes widened at her cell phone vibrated again. She pulled it out and handed the cell phone to Reid, "You check it."

He peered at the screen and said, "No worries; Emily just sent us a text saying 'I hate you for finishing on time for lunch.'"

"Ok- Hotch, we'd better go and grab them lunch. We'll be back after work…if he doesn't keep us too late," JJ said. Hotch nodded and told her, "Good luck."

"Thanks, we'll need it."

4:15pm

_Look at what you did, Aaron._

_They're all dead because of you._

_You don't deserve to live._

"Aaron?" Hotch nearly jumped up at the sound of his name. He found Allison standing at the doorway with her hands on a wheelchair. "Do you want some one-on-one time with me?"

_Anything to get rid of the voices_. "Ok, yes of course."

Five minutes later, Allison pushed Hotch into the hospital planetarium, available to children patients and visitors.

"Alright, Aaron. What's bugging you?"

"It sounds odd, I know, but I guess I'm tired of being sick."

"That's normal and excellent." They passed a table where a child that looked like Jack was coloring. Hotch sighed and continued, "I want to hold my son and…I'm tired of blackouts like the one I had today, I'm tired of lying around all day, I'm tired of feeling so sick, and I'm," his voice began to shaky, "I'm tired of all of this."

Allison pushed the wheelchair to a bench and sat down. "Let's start out with one issue at a time. First up-the team. How are they?"

"People are struggling and there are still strained relationships."

"Ok- let's look at that nightmare of yours- the team is found dead and you blame yourself for their deaths. As a profiler, what does a dream like that tell you?"

He hesitated before answering, "I feel guilt for the problems between the team."

"Aaron, you are not responsible. Unless you told them to hate each other, you are in the clear."

Hotch looked to the ceiling where a trail of stars led to a playground. " I think I'm beginning to understand that. The younger ones are like my children and Dave is like a brother; I guess I want to protect everyone from everything including pain."

"Good- I also…..yelled at them so they should be getting over this thing soon." Allison put a hand on Hotch's chin and muttered, "You need a haircut and a shave."

"You're mean," he joked, causing Allison to grin in response.

8:30pm

Hotch stared at Prentiss in wonder as the profiler scarfed down a sandwich. "I take it you didn't get to eat for lunch?"

"No,..I don't know how much more of him I can take," Rossi said as he nearly inhaled a small bowl of pasta.

"Did anyone of you talk to Strauss about Camen?" Hotch asked after nibbling on a piece of a roll.

"I did, but she claims that we need a new leader from the outside with fresh ideas," Rossi said in a mocking voice. Morgan smiled, "Rossi, you are really unfriendly when you're exhausted, you know."

"I usually have it under control, thank you very much."

" I say we do a coup against him," Garcia joked. JJ, who was sitting next to her, said, "We'd lose our jobs, Penn."

"Yeah, but we'd get satisfaction against taking down sir- pain- in- the- ass."

"Were you all always this crazy?" Allison asked while rocking her sleeping son slowly from side-to side.

"Not always, just as of late," Prentiss said with a mouthful of food. She swallowed and looked up to see Ames and Miles standing at the door. "Whoa, hey guys…..I thought psychiatrists and doctors didn't do late night house calls."

Miles turned to Ames, " I think that you should do the talking."

Ames cleared his throat and said, " Aaron, in our last conversation- your dream about the team concerned me. However, after talking with Allison and even what I've heard of your progress since you were first admitted- you ate a little yesterday, today, and even right now, you showed concern for the people that you love; this morning, you even watched a little TV."

"Nice, Aaron," Rossi said, " What did you watch?"

"A little bit of the news…..I've missed a lot with being in here."

"Even with what you just said- my point is, Aaron, the nightmares regarding the team, Foyet and the guilt about Ms. Hotchner is still a concern, but….I don't see anything in you that mirrors a suicidal patient anymore. "

"What are you saying?"

"I'm moving you off of level 4 status and onto level 3 status today. You'll be discharged tomorrow morning. You'll be allowed to leave the room with permission, you can participate in the activities that we have, and you can have your own clothes and a few items here within reason"

_-One step closer to Jack._ " I don't know what to say- thank you."

"You earned it. A nurse will be here to discharge you once Miss Brooks drops off your son at daycare in the morning."

Allison asked, "How do you feel, Aaron?" as Hotch closed his eyes and let out a sigh of relief.

_No more restraints, no more being a prisoner in a room with only walls. _Hotch reopened his eyes and said, " I feel…ok. I'm…ok." The eldest agent then caught a glimpse of something he hadn't seen in Hotch in three months: a spark of life.


	26. Chapter 26

Next Morning- FBI Office

"I'm so happy for him," JJ said while as she headed with Prentiss to the conference room. Prentiss laughed, "Maybe we should get him something for the room, you know?"

"Does Hotch seem like the type of person to decorate?" Prentiss entered the conference room and sat down. "Hey, he should have something in the room better than the dark and dismal room he was in before." She looked over to see Camen glaring at her.

"Agent Prentiss, do I need to remind you of the rules of no personal business at work?"

"No, sir. I apologize; won't happen again."

"Yes, it will," Camen snarled as the A and B team entered the room. Rossi, Reid, and Morgan sat down at the conference table, causing an agent from the B team to loudly tell a fellow team member, "I hear there's a rule that crazy people can't sit at the table. "

Rossi whispered to the increasingly angry Morgan, "Don't. He isn't worth it." Morgan relaxed his tight fist in response.

Camen coughed to get his agents' attention. "Clearwater, Florida has called us in on a serial kidnapper case. Five children between the ages of 8 and 12 have been kidnapped, strangled, and dumped on the beach,"Camen said. 

Morgan winced as he looked at each crime scene photo that contained a view of the bodies on the beach. _-Beautiful children...what a monster._

Prentiss, who was staring at a spot at the table thought, _Strangulation means the unsub is personal; he wants to see the life leave these children. Power seeker and I'm assuming that he can charm the children to come with him. Why would he be so personal in a strangling a young child? I can also see that these are all brunets- three girls, two boys…_

"Agent Prentiss, is this not interesting enough for you?" Camen snapped, nearly causing Prentiss to jump out of her seat.  
>"No, sir. I was just running the case through my head-" <p>

"Oh, so you don't share now?"  
><em>I would if I could! "<em>I do, sir-"  
>"Shut up. Wheels up in 15." Camen marched out of the room with his team trailing behind him. Prentiss sat in her chair after they had left in a state of shock while JJ slowly stood up, whispering, "Oooohh, what did you do?"<br>"I don't know! Oh, I predict a hard, long case for me... " _Oh, he's going to destroy me…._

Quantico Medical Center  
><span>"Aaron?" Ames slowly opened the room door and found the ex- agent asleep under a red blanket. Ames closed the door as quietly as he could, but once the door closed a _click_ sounded, immediately waking up Hotch. His head shot up as the semiconscious Hotch groaned, "Mmmmhhuuh?"  
>"Sorry to have waken you, Aaron," Ames said. He pulled a chair from the mahogany desk filled with books and placed it near Hotch's bed. As Hotch yawned and sat up, Ames sat and asked," How do you like the new room?"<br>"It's quite excellent. Thank you-again."  
>"Good. Good. How are things with the team?"<br>"There are still problems that I hope are resolved soon."  
>"And your relationship with Agent Morgan?"<br>_How can I put it words...severely strained?_ "I don't really want to talk about it."  
>"Alright- I'm going to give you a choice on the topic of today's session: Haley, my question of sexual assault that you <em>still<em> haven't answered, or Agent Morgan."  
>"Haley."<p>

Flight to Clearwater, Florida- 106 miles from Quantico  
><span>"I want two agents to walk the beach where the bodies were found while the rest work with me or at the station," Camen directed. He smirked at his agents sitting near while the A squad was scattered at the back of the jet. Before Rossi could speak for any of his team mates, Camen cut him off. "Your agents will be at the station...and for the beach; let's see- Agent Prentiss!"  
>Prentiss, who was sitting as far away from Camen as possible, sat forward and answered quietly, "Yes sir?"<br>"You can go with Agent Morgan to the beach."

_Ok- maybe he and I can have a talk about what's been going on the way, _Prentiss thought. Reid whipped his head towards her and babbled, " Did you know that the Southern United States is having a heat wave; the hottest one during the spring months since 1887. It reached 97 degrees with the heat index hovering around 108 yesterday! I wonder what it'll hit today."

Prentiss groaned and dropped her head onto JJ's shoulder_. Thanks for the info, Reid._

Quantico Medical Center

"Alright, let's talk about Haley. She died when you had a final confrontation with the serial killer George Foyet, correct?"

"Yes." Hotch glanced away from Ames and started tapping a finger against his thigh. _This is going to be….hard. _"Foyet killed her before I could get there to stop it."

"How does it make you feel?"

_God, I should have been there in time! _"It's my fault."

"Aaron, this isn't your fault. From the report the FBI gave me, this was out of your control. Foyet manipulated the system to where he was able to escape jail. He found away to reach Haley and Jack before you could-"

"But I should have caught him in Boston or at least when he offered me the deal !"

"What deal?"

Hotch shifted the position he was sitting in and said, " I was offered the deal to stop hunting him in exchange for him to stop killing. I hung up on him and many people were killed. Including Haley."

"What would have happened if you took the deal? You don't seem like the person to bow down to a serial killer's demands."

_She would still be alive. Lives would have been saved- I wouldn't be in this mess. _"I don't know."

"I know that what you just said is lie, Aaron. I believe that taking the deal, allowing that man to control you; I believe that it would have killed you. You take great passion in your work, Aaron. Haley knows that you never meant her any harm."

_The incident with Strauss!_ "This could have been avoided! Haley wanted me to step down from the BAU, but I changed my mind at the last second…she left me for it!"

"Aaron- you love your job. You're great at what you do; if you had left the BAU, you wouldn't be happy, would you?"

_All that matters is that Haley would be here. _"I don't know."

"Aaron, our session is about up. I want you to think- what do you think Haley would think about what has happen to you within the last few months? Would she want you to suffer from guilt that you aren't responsible for or would she want you to continue living? Don't listen to the monsters in your head; listen to your heart. Would she be angry with you for what happened with Foyet or would she love you and still want you to fight? Think about that, alright?"

Hotch closed his eyes and whispered, "Ok."

**Clearwater Beach**

Prentiss, with her thoughts on Camen, slammed the SUV door shut and muttered, "Ass."

"Exactly what I was thinking," Morgan said softly. Prentiss stopped in her tracks and gave Morgan a weak smile. "I guess I'm the focus of his vendetta for today."

"He has no reason to pick on you. He's just-an ass."

"Yeah…..Derek?" she leaned back onto the hood of the SUV and asked, " If something happened to me right now and I couldn't take care of myself, what would you do?"

Morgan took off his sunglasses and said, "I would do everything in my power to make sure that you are comfortable and as happy as you could be. I would try my hardest to not screw your life up like I did with Hotch- it would kill me if I had made the same mistake twice."

"I realize that, but what you did….I don't know. I trust you and care a lot for you. I realized within the past few days that the anger I have about this needs to go away; for Hotch, you know. You never meant any harm towards Hotch…..I guess what I'm trying to say is that your'e my friend and I miss you. I forgive you."

"Thank you," Morgan answered, smiling.

"There's also one thing. You have to promise that if I lost control and went after Camen, you'd back me up," Prentiss joked.

He laughed. "The whole way…unless I got to him first." Both chuckled and began trekking towards the beach.

**Clearwater Police Station- Four hours later**

"Where's Camen?" Prentiss asked as she entered the conference room fours later behind a nearly sweat drenched and exhausted Morgan. Rossi gave both agents an annoyed, irritable look. "Out with his posse getting dinner. He has that lovely gentleman, "Rossi pointed to an overweight officer, chowing down on a sandwich, "watching us to make sure that we don't misbehave."Morgan snorted at his comment and sat down.

"How was the beach?"JJ asked as Prentiss plopped down in the chair next to her. The brunette rolled her eyes and said, " Hot and sticky."  
>JJ smiled and saw that the blue cami Prentiss was wearing on the jet was now brown. "What happened to your shirt?"<br>"Ummmm...well-after we searched the beach...Morgan and I...went..into the...ocean." 

Rossi glared at both agents. "You went swimming on a case?"  
>Morgan stretched out his legs as he said, "No- we stuck our feet in the water for five, ten minutes top while we were searching the beach. Rossi, it was a million degrees outside and we nearly caught fire in the 115 degree heat index."<br>"Plus," Prentiss added," Morgan splashed me."  
>"I did not. You walked in front of me and a wave hit you."He laughed, causing Rossi to ask, "I'll let that go, but I see that you two are ok now, huh?"<p>

Both smiled and answered simultaneously, "Yeah."

Suddenly, Reid quickly left the room. JJ sighed and stood up. "I'll go speak with him." _I think I know where this is going….._

Reid pushed open the doors of the Clearwater Police Station, angrily and stepped out into the humid Florida air. Prentiss had been so rude since San Francisco; it shocked him that both Prentiss and Morgan were on friendly terms now. Maybe it was something he was missing…..

"Spence?" Reid glanced up to see JJ walking towards him with files in her hands. Reid put his hands into his pockets and mumbled, " Hey."

"Are you ok?" JJ asked. She leaned against the wall directly across from Reid.

"Well, yeah. They make it seem like nothing happened."

"Spence, I can assure that there is still tension between the two of them. They made peace and they want to work things out. Sweetie, she's sorry for what she did. Have you spoken to her yet?

"No, but-"

"Spence, it's been three months. Do you really think that she doesn't care about you? I know for a fact that Emily would take a bullet for you and I know you would do the same for her. Just talk to her- you don't have to be best friends; just make peace. Ok?"

A smile crept on his face. " Thanks, JJ." He gave her a hug. She laughed and said, " You are like a brother to me. It's my job."

"I don't want to sound mean, but you should take your own advice with Morgan as well. He didn't mean any harm towards Hotch or you."

_True…_" We'll be ok, Spence. I'll talk to him if you talk to Emily."

The young agent grinned. "Deal."


	27. Chapter 27

**Clearwater Beach- Two Days Later**

Reid glanced between his watch and the views of the beach, expecting to see Prentiss. They were on the beach and had just rescued an 8 year old girl from the clutches of a twisted unsub- a 53 year old, who lured his victims in by pretending to need help. The beach was clear of beach-goers and police officers; only Prentiss, Reid, and JJ and Morgan, who were by the SUV, were left.

A minute passed before the young agent started trotting into the sand towards the sea. During the past few days, the deal that he had made with JJ stayed on his mind; he had not spoken to Prentiss yet because Camen had spent the past few days trying to work the A squad to death.

He soon found her standing at the shore line with her gaze towards the ocean horizon.  
>Reid walked over to her and said, " Prentiss, it's time to go."<br>Prentiss glanced up to him and said, "Sorry, yeah I'm coming. I was just lost in a thought."

"About what?"

"Nothing in particular. "

"Does it involve me?" Reid stood in line next to her and watched her smile. " Yeah, but not just you; the team in general. I know we say we want our personal lives, but we truly are a family."

"I know and I also know that sometimes a family member can make a mistake. It took me awhile, but I know that you and I…we'll be ok. Come on, the jet doesn't go up until tomorrow morning- let's get a beer." He reached his hand out to hers."Spence, you don't have to-"

"I want you to. Please?" Prentiss glanced between the horizon and Reid. "Ok, Spence, I'm in. "

"Great. I promise I'll try not to hit you with too many statistics." Prentiss wrapped her arm around his and said, " No, to tell you the truth, I actually miss your rants. I never truly heard what you did on your medical leave…." She watched Reid's eyes light up in excitement."Well, I was a guest lecturer at Georgetown researching the neuron's relation to psychotic impulses….."

By the SUV, JJ watched Prentiss and Reid talk while slowly heading back to the vehicle. _I guess it's my turn, _she thought. Morgan was glancing through paperwork while leaning on the hood of the car. She quickly thought of something to say and finally stated, " Promise me that you'll never do something so stupid like you had done in San Francisco and I'll forgive you."

Morgan blinked in confusion, but smiled once JJ held a hand out to him. "Aright, deal." He shook her hand, feeling a huge feel of relief. JJ's expression of happiness and caution made his smile fade away.

"Derek, you trust me right?" she asked. He nodded, " With my life. You?"

"My trust in you is shaky, but if I need someone to watch my back in a gunfight, I know that you'll have my back. Plus, I miss my friend."

"I missed you too, Jay."

Reid and Prentiss stopped once they came up to the vehicle. The four agents exchanged exhaustive looks, all realizing that half the battle was over. The team was together again; all they needed to do know was help Hotch…

**5 Weeks Later**

FBI Office-5:30am

"What's that?" Reid asked as he sat down at the conference room table. Garcia pulled up a photo of thirty women, all buried in shallow graves in a park.

Rossi pulled up another crime scene photo on his tablet. "It's what the news called the Black Widow Killer back in the early 1990s in Knoxville, Tennessee." He glanced up to see an exhausted Prentiss, Morgan, and a barely conscious JJ enter the room.

"Why are we here so early?" Prentiss said with a loud yawn. Morgan chuckled and Prentiss returned it with a glare.

"We need to review before Camen gets here and it gets ugly," Rossi responded. He switched to another crime scene photo as Morgan asked, "What do you mean before it gets ugly?"

"These killings are starting up for the first time in about twenty years. What does a team usually do in such situation?"

"Go to the scene , see if you can talk to the detectives who worked the case back in the 1990s, if possible-see if they can accompany and serve as an aid."

"Right," Rossi stood up and walked over to Garcia and the flat screen, "The BAU was called in after the graves of the first ten women were found. Jason Gideon, who left the team many years ago, and Ian Hanes, who died last year, worked with a new agent to the BAU on that case."

"Who was the agent?" asked JJ. _I don't like where this is going…._

Rossi clicked to another crime scene photo and heard a gasp come from the other agents in the room. "The agent was Hotch."

"Oh, this _is_ going to get ugly," Prentiss muttered. "Does Hotch know about this?"

"No, not yet. We technically aren't supposed to be here until 9:30. If you counter in Camen disciplining us for no reason, the discussion of the case, and time to prepare the jet-we have five hours to figure this out."

Morgan glanced over to the nearly empty bullpen. Only Strauss was there, sitting at a table going over what he could only assume where notes on the Black Widow case. "Have you talked to her about it?"

"I've mentioned it. I'm going to go see if I can bring Aaron in on this." Five nervous pairs of eyes stared at him. Reid was the first to speak for the group as he asked, "Are you sure, Rossi? He just got off of suicide watch…."

"We treat this like this is a normal case. Regardless of what's going on with Hotch right now, we need to focus on the case and to that we need to bring in someone who knows the previous killings. I also think that it would be good for him to step out of the place and see what's out here that's worth fighting for."

Morgan raised an eyebrow. " And you want to start him off with a serial killer in Knoxville?"

"You know what I mean." Rossi took a second to profile all the members of the team's opinions on the matter: all seemed nervous about bringing Hotch in; Prentiss and Reid showed a more nervous excitement, JJ only showed pure nervousness, and Morgan seemed content with bringing Hotch in, but worried about crossing paths with him. Rossi knew that Morgan hadn't said a word to Hotch since January, not counting the incident where Hotch went into cardiac arrest.

Rossi handed the television remote over to Garcia. " Go over the case and see if you can get any ideas on this. If we can get a preliminary profile before Camen comes, that would be excellent. I'm going to go talk with Strauss about Hotch."

Within a minute, Rossi approached the Section Chief. "Erin, we need to-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Strauss cut him off, barking, "Agent Rossi, I am not bringing in an ex-agent who had a mental health breakdown four and a half months ago onto a case!"

Rossi put his hands on the desk and glared into his superior's eyes, "What do you suggest we do then?" he growled.

"Treat this the best you can."

"Ok- I'll call you when the killer or his copycat reaches fifty kills. That usually is a milestone for killers, especially one that the BAU wasn't able to catch the first time!"

"I can't just sign off on this, Dave!"

"Erin, is this a ego thing? Because we've brought in much worse than an agent who crashed! The case in North Dakota from last summer; two of our witnesses were druggies!" Rossi smiled at the growing defeat that was spreading across Strauss' face. She took another quick glance at the file and sighed.

"If Aaron agrees to come, he is your responsibility. He functions only as an aide and is a civilian- do you understand that, Agent Rossi?"

"Yes, ma am." He pulled out his keys, ready to drive down to the hospital. "Dave?"

He turned to Strauss, half expecting her to change her mind.

"Please watch him carefully, not only for his well being and to keep the integrity of the FBI, but also…..I need to know if he can come back from this. What I just said stays between you and I, by the way."

"Of course."_She wants to know if he's gone for good or as Jack was told- he went on a break…._

6:00am- Quantico Medical Center

Hotch was covered under a thick blanket in his room in a deep sleep. He had spent the last few weeks getting better at sleeping- his record, as Jack kept count, was sleeping six hours straight. The little boy did not know that his father was still only sleeping four or five nights like this, while the rest was filled with nightmares. The nightmares about the team were for the most part gone; Haley didn't hunt his dreams as much as well as Foyet, who usually accompanied Haley. Now, he was lost in nightmares of being lost and facing the worst serial killers that he had encountered during his career.

He usually lost.

Eating habits has also improved; he was nearly eating three small meals a day. His lungs and heart had completely recovered from the bad case of flu he had caught in February. The problem that plagued him the most was dealing with his talk with Ames about Haley. His psychiatrist had been out during the past month for various medical reasons, leaving Hotch stuck with so many questions and thoughts for his ex wife. It felt as if the man had given him a season finale; Hotch had no choice but to wait for his return.

He didn't have many distractions- he had a few books that he could read and the daily journals that he was required to write. As a level 3 patient, he was allowed to do the group activities offered such as art, free time in the rec room, or even group therapy. Because none of them appealed to him at all, he spent most of his days talking with any visitors he had and battling it out with Allison over his lack of enthusiasm in the group activities. As he told her the previous day, he would rather spend all of his visitor hours with his son than paint.

Now, the slightly stronger ex-agent was dreaming of himself on a beach alone before a tap on the shoulder woke him up. He rolled over and saw six people standing in his room- Allison, Ames, Miles, Rossi, Jessica, and a sleeping Jack.

"Dave?" Hotch mumbled. He wouldn't expect Dave to visit him at six in the morning unless something was wrong.

"Aaron! I have something very important to ask of you."

"What's wrong? I thought you guys had a case."

"We do, but-Aaron, the," Rossi noticed that it was 6:05, hinting that he needed to pick things up, "the Black Widow killer is back."

_Thought I'd never see the day where he'd return, _Hotch rubbed his eyes and asked, "Same place?"

"Yeah, Knoxville. I don't know how, but after a long cooling period like that, he just randomly escalated."

As if it were six months ago, Hotch immediately went into profiler mode. "Does he have any cooling period between the recent," he spotted that Jack was still asleep, "victims?"

"Yeah, Reid had just texted me saying that he's down now to two days before he strikes again. Victimology is the same, but you had profiled him to be 30s at the age of the first killings- he'd have to be pushing 60."

"Well, we'd-" Hotch stopped talking once he realized, _I'm not a profiler anymore…_

"Told you that he'd like it," Allison said. "I can go with him to keep watch."

_Keep watch? Keep watch on what? _"What's going on? Keep watch on what?"

Rossi replied, "We need you to work the case with us, Aaron. We need you to help us catch this guy- just like old times."

_Oh, wow….I don't..I don't know…_" Can I," he swallowed, " Can I think for a minute? I-"

"Of course, of course. We'll give you a minute."The group of six stepped out, leaving Hotch alone in the room. Allison peered through the window and saw Hotch nervously rub his shoulders. "Think he'll do it?"

_If he's truly back to his old self, yes, but if not…._"I don't know," Rossi answered. _I pray that he does…._


	28. Chapter 28

"I'll think he'll do it," Allison stated after a few minutes of silence. Jessica placed Jack onto the couch next to the doorway and exclaimed, "No, I don't want him going!"

Rossi, who kept his eye on the clock, stated, "Jessica, this is to save lives. We need him on the case. This will be good for all of us."

She started pacing by the door "He's-he's not ready."

"He'll be ok. We will watch him; he'll stay at the police station and just help us catch this guy for good."

While Rossi and Jessica continued to argue, Jack Hotchner opened his eyes and sat up. It was so early for him to be awake; he had no idea where he was. Once he spotted the blue and white nurses station that was located at entrance of the psych wing, he realized that he was at the hospital.

He slid off the couch and pushed open the door to Hotch's room as far forward as his little arms could allow him to. Thankfully, no one had noticed even after the door closed behind him. He found his father sitting up on the bed, staring worriedly at the wall.

"Hi, Daddy," Jack called, rubbing his eyes as he walked to Hotch. Hotch glanced up from his gaze and answered, "Hey, buddy. I'm sorry that you have to be here so early."

"Nobody telleded me why we's here. I thought we's coming to see you after daycare."

"Yeah, me too, buddy," he lifted Jack onto his lap, "The reason why you are up so early is because your Uncle Dave wants me to help...fight a bad guy in Tennessee."

"Where's that?"

"It's a state about ten hours away from here."

Jack swung his legs back and forth as he settled onto his father's lap. "Is you gonna go?"

"I don't know, buddy. I don't want to go away and get sick again." _I don't think I'm strong enough to go..._

"Do you wanna go?"

"I do, but I'm a little scared, buddy."

Jack lifted his head and grinned. "You don't have nothin' to worry 'bout, Daddy! The bad guys can't beat you."

"Thanks buddy." _Can I really do this? I haven't stepped foot outside since January and it's nearly May! _"If I go, I'll be gone for a few days and then I'll be back, ok?"

"Ok, Daddy. I'll miss you. And don't get sick."

_Do it- Do it for him. _Hotch hugged him tightly and whispered, "I won't. I promise."

Outside, Rossi, Jessica, and Ames continued to argue over Hotch. Allison stood back away from the group, quietly watching the door. She smirked at the conversation between the arguing three, if they only knew that it was pointless...

Once she saw Hotch step out the room, she coughed to get the other's attention. Jessica, Rossi, and Ames turned around to see Hotch standing with a bag on one arm and Jack, who was nodding off in the other. He wore jeans and a blue pull over hoodie.

Jessica nodded at her brother-in-law's appearance and placed a hand on his face. "Take care of yourself, ok?" she whispered. He nodded and responded, "I will."

Jack yawned, prompting his father to hand him over to Jessica. He kissed his son's forehead and said, "Jack, I'll be back soon."

After Jessica and Jack had left, Allison pulled her purse over her shoulder, causing Hotch to ask, "You're coming with us?"

"Oh my dear Aaron, you are only a level 3 patient. You aren't even truly allowed to be signed out, but since it's a murderer running around, we decided to let it go." He frowned causing her to laugh, "Until you participate and I recommend that you get moved up to level 2, your ass is mine, Aaron."

She started toward to the exit, leaving Rossi and Hotch alone for a moment. "Is she always that interesting?"

"Yes."

"I see. Are you ready for this?"

Hotch smiled for the first time in months and said, "Let's go."

**FBI Office**

"Reid, if you stare at it any longer, I'm going to lose it," JJ stated with a loud sigh. Morgan sat down next to her and handed over a large cup of coffee. "Anything?" he asked.

"No, we found nothing that the other team hadn't found and the killings are nearly the exact same except the cooling off period is shorter."

"I say an apprentice," Prentiss answered after taking a sip of coffee. Garcia stretched out her legs. "I'm starting to go crazy. Has Rossi called about Hotch yet?"

"No, it'll probably be awhile-"

"Oh, no." The technical analyst nearly dropped her tablet to the ground at the sight of Camen and his squad. The leader looked incredibly angry and ready to destroy the A team.

JJ glanced over her shoulder in time to see the B squad enter before Camen slammed the door shut. One of the younger agents snorted at Morgan, "Your crazy boss isn't coming! I don't even get why that old fool even asked for him to come."

"My thoughts exactly!" barked Camen. He marched to the front of the room and yelled, "You are all the saddest excuse of a team I have ever seen in my years here at the FBI. Garcia, you send all case files to me, not that pathetic agent trying to recapture the glory days who also doesn't understand the idea behind retirement!"

"Rossi's seven years younger than you and you're still here," stated Morgan. JJ closed her eyes and winced at his statement.

Camen growled. "I am sick of the smart ass comments, Agent Morgan. You know what? I think I should just fire all of you!"

"On what grounds?" a voice at the door way stated.

JJ looked up to see Hotch standing at the door in front of Rossi. It was as if everything was the same as it was before Foyet, except for the visitor badge that hung from Hotch's neck.

"On what grounds?" Hotch repeated, taking a step into the conference room.

_This is going to be a fun case, isn't it? _Prentiss thought, exchanging an excited look with Reid.

"Mr. Hotchner," Camen responded sarcastically, "How nice of you to join us. Unfortunately, you made the trip for nothing. The FBI Director is speaking with our lovely section chief about this little miss up."

"The one of the abusive that you have towards my team or the fact that you have spent the first five minutes insulting me instead of focusing on the case?"

Garcia kept her chin down, trying her hardest not to smile. _Man, I wish I had a video camera for this._

" The miss up of pulling in an agent that currently resides in a mental institution."

"The FBI has done worse, much worse. I shouldn't be a problem," Hotch stated, placing his bag at his feet. He turned his attention away from Camen, who was thinking off a comeback, and looked to the evidence board where Reid and JJ had mapped out the case-old and new.

"Dave only told me snippets about the new case. Run it from the top, Garcia."

The technical analyst grinned ear to ear. "Yes, sir."

_Whoa, she shouldn't call me that…I don't deserve that. _He snapped out of his thoughts when Garcia pulled up the screen with the crime scene photos.

"Knoxville police have called us in after finding a new burial site with five women buried in it. Everything's the same with the old MO- posed in a funeral-like manner with arms crossed, the clothes looking brand new and neat, and even their facial expressions looked like they didn't suffer. They all were dehydrated and died from a black widow spider bite on the abdomen."

Prentiss stood up and pointed to a geographical profile that Reid had created. "All the women were from the downtown Knoxville area- some married, some single, some divorced. All went missing within the last seventeen months. Reid found that this burial site and the previous one were in locations that had been abandoned; places not likely to be looked at. Hotch, do you remember what the area had looked like?"

_It's one of the cases that bugged me every now and then..how could I forget? _"The area was scarcely wooded- there was a fire that decimated the area a few months prior. There were no residents within a mile- it made it harder because there would have been no one to see a body dump."

Strauss suddenly poked her head into the room and said, "Everything's clear with the director." She nodded at Hotch, "Good luck, Aaron."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. Good luck to all of you. The jet's ready." She disappeared almost as soon as she had appeared. After catching Camen's scowl, Morgan grabbed his files and went to go grab his go-bag, passing an excited yet tired Allison on the way.

Hotch and JJ soon followed him out the door, starting down the ramp and leaving Rossi, Prentiss, and Garcia in the room. Garcia shot up out of her chair and said, "I want to come."

Rossi looked at her in surprise. "What? Why?"

Prentiss chuckled, "Hotch."

"He'll be fine, Penelope."

"Uh, uh. Not fair- the last time the six of you left, he came home and tried to kill himself. I want to come and keep an eye on Hotch." Garcia pouted. Rossi rolled his eyes. "Is it just for that?"

"...Well and honestly sir, I kind of feel like there is going to be the smack down of the century between Camen and Hotch and I don't want to miss it!"

"We can send you play-by-play texts," Prentiss joked, shuffling the files into one pile.

"Not the same!"

Rossi sighed. "Fine. Don't make me regret this."

Garcia leaned over where she could see Camen speaking with his young, confused, and nervous agents. "Trust me, sir. You won't."


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note: Because I will be leaving the country on Friday and won't have much access to internet, this will be the last posting of this story until around New Year's Day. I hope everyone has a great holiday! Thanks!**

**Flight to Knoxville, Tennessee**

The jet engines roared to life, nearly causing Hotch to twitch in a nervous response. He sat near a window seat next to Prentiss, both across from Reid and Rossi. Morgan, JJ, and Allison sat behind Rossi and Reid while the other agents were circled around Camen near the front of the jet. Hotch hadn't expected to be nervous, but he felt scared of meeting his demons again. Regardless of all the work he had done within the past six months to get better, a part of him felt like he was going to fail.

"Aaron?" Rossi said lightly as the jet began to taxi down the runway. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm-"he spotted Camen glaring at him. "The last time I was on this plane-"

"That's in the past. Let's focus on now; once we level, we can start. You ready to address the pain-in-the-ass and the "yes, man" squad?"

"Yeah, I'm ready, but there is something I wanted to say," he lowered his voice, "Thank you all for the last five months. I wouldn't be able to come if you hadn't supported me."

"Hey, we're family," Rossi chimed as the jet leveled and the seatbelt sign turned off. "Guess it's go time."

"During the course of seventeen months starting from 1990 and ending mid 1991, there was a series of kidnappings and murders that rocked the Knoxville area. Women of all different background were disappearing- Knoxville had twelve women missing by the time Agent Gideon, Agent Hanes, and myself were called in. Two days after we had arrived, we found a burial site in an abandoned housing development wooded area filled with the graves of ten women," Hotch stated. He stood in front of the entire group of agents and actually felt like he had some form of control. Minus Camen and Agent Peter Ho, all of the agents were listening to every word he said.

Hotch paused to take a breath, but was cut off by a small agent, sitting behind Camen.

"What happened to Agent Gideon?" she asked. Reid flinched at the comment and received a friendly squeeze from JJ. Hotch shot a glare at the agent and retorted, "He couldn't handle the job anymore so he quit."

"So like you?" Agent Ho answered, the agent who had been making snide remarks about Hotch for the past few months. Morgan almost sprung at him, but Rossi once again stopped him before he could.

"He burned out." _And __I __attempted __suicide__…_

"Basically what I just said. So tell me, Mr. Hotchner, why should we trust you? You ended up in the psych ward."

Hotch narrowed eyes before answering in a calm yet angered filled voice. "Because I'm the only person that can help you capture this killer."

"You couldn't do it the first time. What makes now so different?"

"Because at the time I was your age and was inexperienced and arrogant."

Ho opened his mouth before closing it again, speechless. Unfortunately as if an imaginary baton was passed from Ho to his mentor, Camen stepped into the fight. "He's only pointing out what he sees: a very poorly trained, unqualified team of agents."

"My team should not have been punished for my actions regarding my dealings with Foyet," Hotch retorted.

"You should have been more responsible. A leader knows that."

"Well, the situation is done and I believe that we need to focus back on the case."

"Fine- I do believe a team's qualities mirror the one's of their leader."

"Which is why I ran the A team and you ran the B team," Hotch answered, not even looking up from the file. Morgan bit his lip, fighting hard not to laugh. _Good __to __see __him __back __with __some __snark __in __him.__It__'__s __really __good __to __see __life __in __him __again._

Knoxville Police Station

As soon as the teams arrived at the police station, Camen turned and faced the A squad. Hotch stood next to Allison, confused over the fact that the B squad was setting up and the A squad looked like they were children about to be reprimanded.

"A squad, you know the rules. You stay here, do your jobs, and try not to screw things up. My team and I will be back soon." Once his agents dropped their stuff of in a small conference room, Camen and his B squad walked out of the police station.

"What-why aren't you guys going with them to the scene?" Hotch asked in confusion. He knew his team: Prentiss and Morgan would have argued with Camen until they found themselves suspended, Rossi would have found some sneaky way around it, and JJ and Reid would; do as they were actually doing right now-riding it out the best that they could.

He felt like he was in the twilight zone.

JJ spread the files out onto the desk, "We don't actually get to go out in the field. Camen and his squad do the fun stuff and we get to sit here and twiddle our thumbs after he buries us in paperwork. So you can work an aspect with one of us in our assigned jobs or just be a general guide."

_Assigned __Jobs? __My __team __is __better __than __being __treated __like __children! _Hotch suddenly muttered, "That's it."

Rossi tapped his shoulder in worry. "I'm sorry?"

"I'm sick of the stares and the complaining and the….because peoples' lives are on the line, we aren't going to treat this like a game of power," he stood up and glared at his team, "I had hoped to believe that if I'd ever left the team that you all would be able to handle yourselves, but I'd never expect you to let an agent with piss poor FBI skills to knock you down!"

Reid, Prentiss, Morgan, Garcia and JJ exchanged guilt ridden looks amongst themselves. Hotch lowered his voice and continued, "I know that I'm here as a guide and I'm not in charge, but- but I'm taking back my role of authority while we are here. You find anything pertinent to the case; you report it to me first. That's the point of a team; we all have to work together." Morgan shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the last statement.

Hotch quickly glanced towards him and thought, _Hope __he __understood __that._ "If there are any problems with Camen, tell him that he can come to speak to me about it. Do I make myself clear?"

The chorus of six, "Yes, sir," added a bit of excitement to Hotch's mood; Rossi only stood back and watched the ex Agent be himself. "Prentiss and Reid, go back to the old dumpsites. See if you can find anything surrounding the dumpsite that may differ than the new ones. That can tell us for sure if we are dealing with a copycat. JJ, we had initially thought that he could be in construction or forestry since both dumpsites where in areas marked to be developed for new housing. I need you to look at any companies in the area that would have any employees pushing 60. Garcia, you work with JJ on that; I also want to know if there were any similarities in anything in the lives of all the women-all of them, including the first thirty and the new five. Dave, you and-you and Morgan go to the coroner's office and take a look at the bodies. Ok?"

His team members instantly scattered throughout the rooms to their jobs; all had grins about getting into action. Rossi passed by Hotch and whispered, "Welcome back."

Farragut Coroner's Office- 20 miles from Knoxville Police Station

"Why are we so far away from the city?" Morgan asked, stepping into the building.

"7 car pileup and these bodies from a 20 year old case? Knoxville's coroner is being overrun with bodies right now. Farragut, Tennessee decided to lend out a helping hand."

Morgan bent under the low railing and asked Rossi, "So Hotch is still livid with me?"

"I don't know if livid is the right word, Morgan. Beyond pissed kind of sums it up a little better."

Morgan pushed open the coroner's door and flashed a badge to the secretary. "I understand."

"Hey, he gave you eye contact and said your name. I call that progress from the last five months."

Suddenly, the coroner stepped out and disposed of his gloves in a trash can. "Oh," he said, with sudden surprise, "You guys must be the FBI guys…again. I thought two agents already came by?"

Morgan smirked as Rossi said, "We're the more attractive, smarter version of those two agents. We'd like to get our own look, if you wouldn't mind?"

"Of course, not. Follow me."

The coroner stepped next to two bodies and pulled the sheets off of both. "Both died from very high levels of the toxins that black widow venom in their systems. One bite from a black widow in a person probably won't kill them, but the levels in these bodies and I assume the ones that I haven't got to yet had six times the normal level. I was just about to call you guys," the coroner lifted one of the bodies and pointed to a small part of the back, "because I found that what was first assumed as a single bite mark was actually post mortem."

Morgan bent down to get a closer look, slightly taken aback. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if there were repeated bite marks, which is one of the only ways to get that much venom into the system, there would be signs of it. When I look closely and analyzed the bite mark, I found a needle injection site that probably healed over time."

"So he injects them and has them bitten after death to throw us off. This guy's smart. Thanks Doc." Rossi started towards the entrance and asked, "What are you thinking?"

"Someone with training in entomology, forestry, or even botany. It explains how he works with the bugs so well and how he finds these dump sites. Why wasn't this caught before?"

"Because they weren't looking for it."

**Knoxville Police station conference room-1 hour later**

"Ok, so Morgan just called to say that they are on their way back with some news about the COD. Prentiss and Reid should be back any moment now," JJ told Garcia who was halfway through digging through the victim's lives.

"Si, madam. I have to say, it feels so good to have the whole squad back together, even if it's only temporary."

JJ chuckled and looked up in time to see Reid and Prentiss sprinting into the room and closing the door. Both were out of breath and were grinning.

"You two ok?" JJ asked.

"Where's Hotch?" Reid asked. Prentiss turned around and peeked through the blinds.

"He went on a break an hour ago. He should be back with Allison- did something happen?"

Reid peeked through the blinds with Prentiss. "We received a call from Camen that he and his squad are on the way back and he's livid."

"What your-oh…" JJ spotted Hotch and Allison walking towards them, both totally unaware that Camen and his team had just walked through the door. Although they couldn't hear the chatter through the main room, they could hear Camen yell, "Hotchner! A word!"

"Oh, this is bad-"

"Yes!" Garcia exclaimed, "Think this is the final round?"

"Of course, not," Prentiss laughed right as Camen nearly dragged Hotch into the conference room. He barked, "Out! All of you- Now!"

After being ushered out the room, Camen slammed the door shut in their faces. The A squad huddled together as near to the conference room as they could get without Camen or Hotch spotting them watching. The B squad only stood dumbfound behind Allison, who was watching the A squad giggle in glee once Hotch and Camen began arguing. Unexpectedly, Prentiss turned around and exclaimed, "Allison, you alright?"

"I've-I got to say. This is a much more dynamic, family oriented team than the one I met in January."

"Aww, that's so nice."

Rossi glanced to his teammates and directed, "We need to get back to the case."

Morgan answered, "Most of the evidence files- pretty much everything we have on the case is in that room."

"So what do we do?" Reid asked.

"We wait until the battle of the titans ends."


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Note: Have a safe and fun New Year's!**

"Agent Hotchner, I don't know what they're teaching you in the loony bin, but those that are under my leadership report to me, not you!" Camen screamed as soon as the door closed.

_He just called me Agent..._"The misuse of skills on the A team-"

"Misuse? I can do whatever the hell comes to mind with the A squad! Here's what you're going to do on the rest of the trip; I'm going to talk slow so you can handle it-"

Hotch with his voice calm and controlled, stated, "You don't have the right to run either of these teams."

"Really now! How's that?"

"First of all, you are sorting the jobs better equipped for at least eight people to only five very inexperienced agents. Your drive to humiliate and demean my team should be focused on other stuff like the case or even running a half way decent squad! The cases you've done with both squads could have been done in half the time!"

"I made decisions that were best-"

"Secondly, your team is highly unprofessional- how many cases have you let slide where one of your agents have made a crack comment about a victim or even me? The A squad has taken note of the amount of late arrivals and long lunches each member of your team have taken-"

"How did you-"

"Because I taught them how to act like a professional team of profilers."

Camen smiled maliciously. "Well, Hotchner, that's swell you have all that, but how are you going to prove it?"

Hotch opened the laptop and pulled up the webcam options. After plugging it into the projector and pressing call, Strauss' face appeared on the screen.

"Aaron," she responded flatly, placing a stack of papers to the side.

Hotch straightened and said, "I assume you received the list of concerns that I sent you."

Strauss pulled up a sheet of paper and answered, "Yes, I did. Agent Camen!"

Like a fearful child about to be punished, Camen answered quietly, "Yes, ma am."

"Agent Camen, you are done. I gave you this team to help them until a replacement Unit Chief was found. Never were you supposed to abuse them or belittle them! I want your team on a plane within the hour. Leave the jet for the A team."

"Ma am, you're just going to leave them-"

"Say one more word and you're fired. Get me Agent Rossi and get back here. Now!"

Camen bowed his head and muttered, "Yes, ma am." He slowly walked to the door and opened it. "Agent Rossi!" He yelled, "You're needed."

Rossi entered the room as Camen quietly left. _Whoa, Strauss? What did Aaron do? _He thought. Hotch smiled and said, "I'll leave you two alone."

Rossi watched him leave before asking nervously, "Erin, what do you need?"

"Agent Rossi, although I told you that there was no room for you to move up on the team, I feel that you would be the best suited to run this team. Agent Camen and his team are off the case and your team is back to full function."

"Thanks Erin; I happily accept." He leaned forward to end the call, but stopped when Strauss called out, "Oh, Agent Rossi?"

"Yes, ma 'am?"

"How's Aaron?"

"It's like it's a year ago. Aaron is working hard and leading well. He's doing excellent."

"I'll keep that in mind….Dave, keep me updated. I personally don't believe that…..Aaron's talents should go wasted if he gets out within the next year or so."

"Thank you ma am," he answered. He heard a knock on the door. JJ stuck her head in and said, "We're ready to give the profile."

"The unsub is the same man that killed in the 1990s; we found no evidence to show that this is a copycat. However, he may have an accomplice now that he's pushing 60. We believe that both men have training in either entomology or forestry so look at older males in those types of jobs at businesses and universities. We believe that he most likely has a higher degree because he is able to remove and inject venom into the body before he allows the spider to make a move; a task that requires some form of training, "Hotch said.

"Because of the number of spiders used, he probably has his own personal collection or regularly goes hunting for black widows. Because of his treatment with the women and the precision used with the spiders, look for someone whose fascination has become is reality. He probably has a introverted personality and is quite lonely," Reid added.

A Knoxville officer raised his hand and asked," How come the killings stopped? Also, why stop for 20 years and then start up when you're older?"

"Seventeen months ago was the 20th anniversary of the killings. We believe that the anniversary and the fact that he found someone to help them with burial and heavy labor led to him killing again. There was a curfew and warnings system in Knoxville back in the 90s- it's probably why he stopped until now," Hotch finished.

"If you have any more questions, just ask," Rossi said. The group of officers in front of the them departed. Hotch watched them leave and thought,_ It feels good to be back in action...even if it's just temporarily._

Midnight- Hilton Knoxville hotel

"Aaron, wake up," Allison said softly, rubbing the sleeping man's shoulder. He stirred and sat forward, as if he were alert and ready for action. After working until 9:30, Allison had threatened to send him home if he didn't get some rest. While the team continued to work into the night, Hotch had reluctantly returned to the hotel with Allison to sleep until the early hours of the morning

"Whoa, easy tiger. I just wanted you to know that they caught the guy."

Hotch's eyes widened. "When?"

"About an hour ago...wait, Aaron, what are you doing?" Hotch had slipped out of the bed and pulled off his shirt.

_Oh, wow, _Allison thought at the sight of the scars from Foyet. Hotch slipped on another shirt and said," I want to know and see who it is. It's not every day that you get to solve a cold case," he paused when he saw Allison staring at his shirt. "What?"

"Your scars..."

"Allison, I...I-"

"I think they're beautiful. I see scars to define a person."

Hotch ran his hands over one of them. "I'm not sure about that. All they remind me of is…." _Foyet and Haley…..scars that will be stuck with me for a long time._

She took a step towards him and asked softly, "May I?"

Hotch hesitantly let out a, "Ye-es," before Allison placed a hand on his shirt over one of the scars. Something about her touch made him put his hand over hers. They stared longingly into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Allison said, "I see these as a reminder of you fighting against one of the darkest human beings and winning. You're still here-fighting everyday to get your life back. These scars will remind you of your darkest moments and what came out of it. Yes, it did take Haley away, but it gave you new things like…a new lease on life and-"

Knock, knock. Hotch blinked and pulled himself out of his daze and his hand away and answered, "Come in."

Prentiss stuck her head in and said, "Hotch, did you want to talk with the unsub before PD takes him into custody?"

"Yeah, I'm coming." Hotch slipped on his jacket and started towards the door, thinking, _What just happened here?_

Return Flight to Quantico- Six hours later

The jet appeared eerie quiet to Hotch as it took off from Knoxville's airport. It was sad to him, especially since that he was to return back to the psych ward and away from all of this once the jet landed in Quantico.

"Hey, that was pretty kick ass stuff you did back there," Allison said as she sat down across from Hotch. The rest of the team were sleeping, scattered throughout the plane.

"Thank you. I'm glad we finally caught this guy after twenty years."

"So, who was it?"

"A 54 year old entomologist that specialized in spiders. He found the venom to be so fascinating...sort of sexual attraction to it. The accomplice was his nephew...who was paid to do it. They slipped up and the nephew immediately copped to the charges."

"Cool...it's good to see you in action."

Thank you. I...have to say that I did enjoy it."

"I knew you would." She hugged her knees and cocked her head. "Hotch, what's up?"

He chuckled, "You trying to be the eighth member of the team?"

"Ha, ha- no, Aaron. Seriously though, I know you. What's wrong?"

"I've been thinking of Jack and what's going to happen when I eventually get out of Quantico Medical. Right now, he's pretty much parentless." _My boy is strong, though. He...lost both parents in a pretty short time._

"What do you mean?"

"Let's say that I can get my job back at the Bureau, which I highly doubt will happen. Jack needs me- maybe I should just focus solely on him like Haley did."

"But what would you do?"

Hotch shrugged." I don't know. Jack is my priority right now."

"But what about you? Aaron, why do you think I've been harassing you to get out and participate in group activities? You need to learn to live. Everyone has their click and yours is catching unsubs. "

He sighed and shot a quick glance out the window towards the stars, a favorite of Haley's. "Now that I think about it...Haley would have wanted me to do what makes me happy. As Ames asked me to think about it...she'd want me to fight every day, especially for Jack. Attempting suicide and surrendering to my demons would disappoint her. This trip, getting out and experiencing life, made me realize that I miss my old life."

"I see...Aaron do you know how much you've grown since January?"She smiled and pulled a white sheet from her pocket.

"Ames gave me permission yesterday to monitor your status. He's keenly aware of your progress and wanted me to monitor whether you have the makings of a level 3 patient or a level 2." Morgan, who was now awake, sat up at her comment, clunking Reid in the head.

"What-Allison, what are you saying?"

She extended in her hand out to him, a blue patient bracelet that level 2 patients wore. He smiled and took it graciously. Morgan kicked Prentiss lightly to wake her up as Reid tapped JJ, Garcia, and Rossi awake. Hotch ignored the chorus of "Oww," and "Whatcha do that for?" and focused on Allison.

"Aaron, because I see a man who wants his life back and is dealing with his grief in a more appropriate manner, you are now, once Ames signs off on it, a level 2 patient. Most patients have to go a few months to get bumped up- you did it in 5 weeks. Overachiever."

As Garcia squealed in delight, Hotch thought, _You're within reach of holding your son…Finish this; now only for him, Haley, Allison, or the team, but for you as well. Let's get our life back._


	31. Chapter 31

One month later-June 

"Morning, Daddy!" Hotch heard one morning around six am. He yawned and found his son standing near his bed. Hotch pulled him onto the bed and asked, " What are you doing here, buddy?"

Jessica stepped into the bedroom. "Hey, you're up! I wanted to see if you wanted to drop Jack off at daycamp with me today?"

Hotch froze, a smile crawling on his face. "Seriously?"

"Yeah! I can sign you out now! So are you up for it?"

"Of course!" Hotch pulled the giggling Jack into his arms. "You ready to for me to take you to school, Jack?"

"Yeah! I missed when you dropped me off at school, Daddy!"

Hotch smiled and stood up._ Me too._

On the way back from Jack's day camp, Jessica kept an eye on her quiet brother in law. Hotch had spent the past month getting stronger; participating in activities, enjoying his time with his son and the team- she hadn't seen him this quiet in a long time. Once they had dropped off Jack, his demeanor had instantly changed from excitement to quietness.

Deciding to make small talk, she asked," So where's the team?"

"Anchorage, Alaska. They have a LDSK-long distance serial killer- terrorizing the city. They should be back tomorrow," He answered with his finger tracing in circles on the window glass.

Jessica nodded before suddenly pulling the vehicle over to the side of the road and asking, "Aaron, you're worrying me. What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

Hotch sighed and asked, " Can we….visit Haley's grave today?"

"Yes, of course." _I've been waiting months to hear that, _she thought. "We'll head there now."

Francis Cemetery - Haley Hotchner's gravesite

"Here it is," Jessica said. She stepped back as Hotch stood directly in front of the grave site. The small gravestone was covered in an array of blue and yellow lilies. With the warm June weather and the gentle breeze, Hotch felt at peace as he stood in front of his ex-wife's grave for the first time in over seven months.

_Here goes nothing. _ He closed his eyes and took a breath before saying," I'm so sorry, Haley. I tried to get there as fast I could, but I failed. I know that you're keeping an eye on Jack and I, so you know what's been going on with me for the last seven months or so.

I gave up on life because I felt like I failed you. I had hoped that the divorce would get you more out of harm's way so that if anything had happened to me, you'd still be able to take care of our son. It hurt because I loved you and I still do. Ever since you died, I felt like it was my fault. I keep replaying that day over in my head- running through every moment to see what I had done wrong. You didn't deserve any of this….there were times that I'd wished that it was you here and me gone…I'd thought that maybe everyone would be happier, but I learned with getting some help that it wouldn't. I'm loved by so many people…you, the team, Jessica, Sean, Jack- so many people that would miss me. "

Hotch placed his hands in his pocket and opened his eyes. Taking in a large breath, he continued, " With therapy, I've learned that I can't dwell on the past anymore. I can't spend my entire life wondering and blaming myself for what Foyet did to you…me….everyone. Our son needs his father back and I need my life back. I know I promised you that I'd spend the rest of my life making this up to you and I will. I'll love our son with all my heart and get up every day and fight those demons. I promise you that…I'll never surrender like I did in January."

Jessica wrapped an arm around his and laid her head on his shoulder. She called out to the gravestone as if Haley were there and said, " Hey sis. It's me. I hope you know that he's trying so hard to get his life back. The other day I saw the smile on him that you told me that you always loved. The little guys is doing good, just like his father. It's been a turbulent seven months, but I feel like our Aaron is back. You would be so proud of him if you were here."

Jessica handed Hotch a white lily. "Do you want to do the honors?"

"Yes, I can." He took the lily and placed it at the bottom of the gravestone near Haley's name.

"How do you feel?" she asked once he stood back up.

"Better. I feel like my conscious is cleared."_I feel like a lot is cleared._

Quantico Medical Center- 9:45pm

Hotch stepped into the hospital's break room and found a few team members spread out in a corner of the room. Garcia and Morgan were joking and laughing amongst themselves while JJ was looking over a few case files. Reid was the first one to notice Hotch.

"Hey, I thought you guys weren't coming until tomorrow!" Hotch said while Jessica signed him back in. Hours later then intended, Hotch and Jessica spent the day taking about Haley, Jack, and other simple things in life that the ex-agent had missed being in the psych ward.

"We caught a break early- the guy confessed. Rossi thought it would be good to head straight back and take the weekend off. How are you?"Reid asked.

"I'm alright. I went to Haley's grave today."

The youngest agent smiled. "That's excellent, Hotch. Oh, I realized on the flight today that our last case before the incident in San Francisco was in Ankorage."

_Observant….that's really observant of him. _"Wow, I hadn't realized that. I guess it's been that long."

"Hey, did you know that the average time spent in -"

"Aaron Hotchner!" Allison exclaimed from the break room entrance. She marched into the room with crossed arms and exclaimed, "I've been looking for you! There's a group that I want you to sit at."

Hotch nonchalantly asked, "What's the group?"

Allison kept her eyes on a painting on the wall near Hotch and said, "It's best if you just go and see for yourself."

"Allison, what's the group?" Hotch repeated, a little more attentive. Although not officially a profiler, Hotch had figured that Allison was a horrible liar. She always looked away when lying or attempting and failing at hiding something from someone.

"Aaron, as part of the patient- doctor confidentiality clause, I extremely advise that you just shut up and come. I know we argue about group therapy...but just come on."

_Why is she acting so weird? "_Allison..."

"It's for sexual assault victims," she blurted out.

The room suddenly became quiet; Hotch felt his heart drop at her words. _She figured it out._

Garcia stood up slowly, her eyes flickering between Allison and Hotch. Placing the files into a empty chair, JJ asked, "Why would she ask-" before thinking, _Foyet!_

"I'm so sorry- I just…I tried to keep it private- I also kind of figured it out on my own-" Allison stammered, "Aaron, please don't be mad….I think going to this group will help you a lot."

Hotch turned and started walking towards his room, ignoring the calls and pleas from his friends. Once he made it to his room, he sat down slowly on the bed with his mind in shock. A few minutes passed before a very tired and empathetic Morgan stepped into his room.

"Hey, you alright?" Morgan asked. He sat down next to Hotch on the bed when he gave Morgan no response.

"I know that I'm the last person that you want to talk to right now, but…..I think I know what's bugging you. It's been a suspicion on the team for awhile now...did Foyet rape you?"

_I don't want to talk with you. Go away! _Hotch winced and closed his eyes, half praying that Morgan would get up and leave.

"I think he did and you don't want to talk about it."

_Do not profile me! _Hotch grimaced when Morgan continued to talk, "Hotch, it's alright. No one thinks any different of you."

No response.

"I can tell you this from experience- it's hard, but it can be dealt with. You'll be happy again."

Still no response.

"I'll leave you alone then, but just think about what I said. Alright?" Morgan stood up and took two steps towards the door when he heard, "Why didn't you come to me instead of going to Strauss back in January?"

Morgan nodded and leaned against the wall. " I thought it was best...to call Strauss."

"You could have come to me about it first- what do you think I was going to say?"

"Hotch, no offense, but you're stubborn."

"So are you."

Morgan chuckled and sighed. " You guys are my family and I didn't want to lose someone that I see to be like a father figure to me. Not again. I wanted you to be out of harm's way at all costs. We all knew that you would shut us down so I thought that I had to go over your head."

"What you did….you betrayed me, Derek. You betrayed all of us."

" I know and I'm so sorry about…everything. I shouldn't have done any of it- it destroyed you and the team. I don't expect you to forgive me. I'm surprised that people on the team are even talking to me."

Hotch turned his attention to Morgan and looked him right in the eye. "I don't trust you, " He said plainly. His expression then softened," but I know that you meant well. Iv'e been so angry, but for my own sake, I'm going to try to let it go. I know you care for all of us deeply."

"Thanks." Morgan placed his hands deep into his pocket, thinking, _Finally. Everyone's ok. _

A moment of silence passed before Morgan said, "Hotch, there's something that I've been meaning to give to you for awhile now. I don't know why I think now this is a good time." Morgan pulled out the suicide letter that he had found in Hotch's apartment in January. "I didn't read it nor could I give it to the rest of the team or Jessica to read. I just couldn't."

Hotch took the letter, the envelope in the same condition as it was when he had first written it. "Thanks. No one else knows about it. "

" Hmmm."Morgan walked over to the doorway as Hotch suddenly blurted out," Yes."

"What?"

"I was raped by Foyet. All I remember is being stripped and him coming...the answer is yes."

Morgan nodded. "Go to the group therapy, Hotch. It'll help."

The next morning, Hotch slipped on a sweater and sat still on his bed as he waited for 9:30 to approach. He felt surprisingly relaxed at going to the therapy; he had sent so many victims to group therapy that it felt right for him to go.

But he wasn't going as an agent sitting in.

He was going as a victim of sexual assault.

"Aaron?" he heard from the doorway. Allison crept into the room and said, " I'm so sorry that I said that aloud. Are you mad at me?"

"No," he chucked, "I'm glad you said it. I wouldn't have ever talked about it. I guess I'm afraid…of being seen as a failure."

"You have nothing to be afraid of you and you aren't a failure. Group therapy is where people in the same situation as you talk about how they feel, " she sat down next to him, "It's a safe place where no one, like me, will blurt out your secrets."

"You didn't blow my secrets. You accidently gave me a push to talk about it." He looked to the clock and saw that it was 9:20. "It's time to go."

"Ready?" Allison asked as Hotch stood and grabbed his room key. He gave her a small nod and answered, "Yeah, I'm ready."

"Oh, I should tell you that you aren't the only male there. There are seven other guys with recent events like you."

"Thanks, chatterbox."

Allison playfully slapped Hotch's arm. "I am not a chatterbox! I just tell you things that are pertinent."

They turned the corner and stopped in front of a small conference room where Hotch could see a group of 12 individuals sitting around the table. They appeared normal to him- some were patients like he was and others were in street clothes. Allison opened the door and whispered, "Good luck," before turning and heading back towards the main foyer.

Hotch slowly stepped inside and sat down at the closest chair to the door. All the relaxed feelings he had about going to therapy disappeared instantly.

The director of the group stepped into the room and in a loud voice said, "Good morning all. I hope everyone had a great week. Oh -who are you?" The director placed a case of notebooks on the table and looked up to Hotch when he spotted the new face.

_Here goes nothing. _" I'm Aaron Hotchner. I'm a patient here."

"Oh! Nice to meet you, Aaron. I'm Michael- I run the group here once a week. I'm glad you're here….why don't you tell the rest of the group why you're here and a few things about yourself."

"Well, I used to work with the…..Justice Department," he started to say, deciding to conceal that he used to be an FBI agent, " and I am here because I was sexually assaulted by an dangerous individual I had encountered last year."

"And how are you holding up?"

_No super analyzing or critiquing. I'll think I'll be alright here. _"I'm doing ok." He smiled and settled into the chair. "I'm beginning to deal with it."

July

"Aaron, how do you feel?" Ames asked Hotch while sitting in Ames'office. They were in the middle of one of Hotch's weekly therapy sessions.

"I'm pretty good."

"I'm happy that you feel that way. I'm glad you gave me the suicide note...I don't think you wanted to truly die that day. You were so brunt and short- it around like it wasn't even written by you."

Hotch could see the opened envelope sitting on the psychiatrist's desk. " I haven't been able to read it and no one else besides Morgan knows that it exists."

"Don't worry about it. One day you'll read it...and maybe you and Jessica or maybe even your friends can look through it. How are the guilty feelings regarding Ms. Hotchner?"

Hotch sat up and smiled. "They're...not bad at all. They really come and go...especially after I went to Haley's gravestone."

"And the team?"

"We'll be alright."

The tip of the pencil touched the psychiatrist's lip. "And you and Agent Morgan?"

"Its...We're at peace and dealing with what had happened. Like the team, we'll be alright."

"And Foyet?"

_The hardest part..."_ Iknow what he did was to destroy me and it had initially worked, but I know that I have to try and move past it it. It'll take some time."

Ames nodded before sitting up and saying, "Alright, come with me, Aaron."

Ames placed the notepad onto his desk and walked out of the office. Hotch stared at where the psychiatrist once sat before running after him in complete confusion. When Hotch caught up, Ames was standing and smiling in front of the main doorway of the break room. Inside were balloons, food, cake, and his family and friends.

"What's this?" Hotch asked, entering the room. Jack ran into his arms and yelled, "Daddy, there is good news." Allison took his hand and smiled, a single tear running down her cheek.

"What's up?".

"Aaron-"

For the briefest second, Hotch flashbacked to eight months ago when he held the knife right over his stomach. His face was stained in tears as he decided that life wasn't worth living for and slammed the knife into his abdomen. Now eight months later, he was healthier, happier, and stronger, surrounded by people who love him and care deeply for him. He felt a tear leave his face as Allison finished,

"Aaron, you're going home."


	32. Chapter 32

"Here it is...home sweets home," Jessica said while entering Hotch's apartment. Hotch hesitantly entered and flicked the lights on. It would have been another tear jerking moment for him, if the team and Allison weren't gleefully watching from the hallway. Leaving Quantico Medical after nearly eight months felt weird, especially after he remembered that he wasn't heading back there if he could help it.

He was home.

Everything looked the same to him; the living room and kitchen were spotless, his briefcase placed in the same spot as he had left from when he had returned from San Francisco back in January.

"Hotch, how do you feel?" Prentiss asked with a toothy grin.

"I guess I'm in shock." _Why do I feel like a stranger in my own home? _

"Well, it's been awhile," Allison told him, quietly picking up on Hotch's confused and lost demeanor. She watched his gaze trace the apartment until it landed on his bedroom door. "Hey guys, why don't we give Aaron a few minutes alone?" She suggested. _Let him acclimate without an audience..._

She ushered everyone out in the hallway where Reid asked, "Is something wrong?"

"No, he just needs a few where we aren't breathing down his neck," she answered, "It's a lot to take in all at once."

"Understandable," Morgan responded," I'm just glad he's home."

"How about you guys go home and come back tomorrow?"

"Sounds alright," Rossi answered." We'll come by during lunch. The rest of you, I'll see you at 8am." He gave Jack a quick wave and left, soon followed by the rest of the team.

Turing to Jessica, Allison said, "How about you take Jack tonight and then he can start staying with his dad tomorrow? I'll stay with him tonight."

"Allison, you don't have to do this. You've done so much already!"Jessica exclaimed

"It's the least I can do. I really care about Aaron and I want to make sure he's ok." She glanced into the apartment and found that Hotch had disappeared into his room. "Don't worry. He'll be safe with me."

"Thank you." Jessica picked up Jack and told him, "You're going to stay at my house tonight, ok? We just want Daddy to get adjusted to being home before you start living with him again."

"You promise, Auntie?"

"I promise, Jack. Go say bye to Daddy." Jack nodded and sprinted into the apartment. After a minute or so, he ran back and said, "Why's Daddy sad?"

"He's just confused. He'll be ok in the morning." _I hope._

"Aaron, are you alright?" Allison asked once she found him in his bedroom. She touched his arm and saw that he was staring where Garcia had held him after his suicide attempt. He frowned and muttered, "I don't think I wanted to die that day."

"I think it's interesting that you chose to go out the same why Foyet tried to take you out."

"I found it to be appropriate."

"I'm just thankful that you failed," she placed her hand into his, "I wouldn't have been able to meet you."

"Thanks," he chuckled, "...Allison, what am I supposed to do next?"

She pulled a DVD from her purse and said, "Well, here's what you and I are going to do. You and I are going to watch Never Say Never and eat pizza. You are going to worry about the rest of your life tomorrow. Alright?"

Hotch sat down on the side of the bed. "Alright...Allison?"

"Yes?"

"What are we? I know that we've past nurse- patient relations..."

She sat next to him on the bed. "You tell me."

**Four Weeks later- August**

"That's the point, Reid; it's a rhetorical question," JJ told Reid as they walked out of the FBI bullpen. Prentiss replied, "I've tried that. He'll never get it, Jay."

"Should have thought this through," she muttered while Reid asked, "Why did you ask it if it can't be answered?"

"Cause that's the fun of it, "Morgan added, earning a playful nudge from Prentiss.

The four agents disappeared from Rossi's view as he stood on the ramp near Hotch's old office. It was empty; Camen had moved out of it right after the case in Knoxville. Watching Camen leave had been a joyous affair for the team.

"Agent Rossi, a word?" He heard from a familiar voice. Strauss appeared at the end of the ramp and pointed towards his office. Over the last month, his disdain for her had lessened as she kept up an interest in Hotch's recovery post-release. Rossi wasn't sure what her intentions were; Strauss was known for being unpredictable.

"How is he doing?" She asked as she sat down in one of his guest chairs.

"The same as he was last week and the week before: bored and little down. Life without this job isn't the same for him."

"I see-"

Rossi rolled his eyes. "Is there a point to these questions? You've been watching him like a hawk since May, but haven't told me why."

Strauss pulled out a manila envelope and placed it on Rossi's desk. He took it slowly and pulled out a sheet of paper from the FBI director. He read the first line and looked up, shocked.

"You want to offer his job back?"

"It wouldn't be the same; the best I could get from the director is a Special Agent position, but he'd be able to get his spot back on the team. If he accepts, the FBI director would have him go through a few refreshers for two weeks and test under an agent, and if he passes their evaluation along with the psych eval, he's back into the FBI."

_Wow- this would have been so much easier if she hadn't fired him in the first place. _"Wow...do you want to talk to him or should I?"

"I was hoping that you would do the honors." Strauss stood up and said," I'll think it'll mean more if you do it."

Rossi chuckled and said," Thanks, Erin."_ Never thought I say those words._

"He was a good agent...bring him back, Dave."

_All depends on Aaron_."I'll try."

**9:45- Hotch's apartment **

"Sorry, it's so late," Rossi said as Hotch let him into the apartment. Hotch had Jack asleep in his arms; behind Hotch, Rossi could see Allison's purse."It's alright," he replied," What's up?"

"There is something pretty important that you and I need to discuss."

"Alright, let me put Jack down." Hotch disappeared into his son's bedroom while Rossi sat down on the couch._ Why am I so nervous?___Rossi thought as his friend emerged from the bedroom and sat down across from him.

"Dave, what's up?"

_Here goes nothing._ Rossi pulled out the envelope Strauss had given him and placed it on the table. Hotch picked it up and stared at Rossi for a second; the Bureau insignia made him tense and nervous.

"Strauss spoke with the head of the FBI and found that you shouldn't be done with the Bureau after all. They are offering you a Special Agent position on our team."

Hotch examined the letter slowly, picking up on every word. When finished, he said in a soft voice, "I didn't think this could happen..."

"It would take two weeks of training, but just a bit of review- you know to get back in shape in their eyes."

Hotch looked up and smiled. "While Jack is at school, I...I go running with Allison in the morning and look over case files that I have here. I guess a part of me knew that I would be allowed back. " He ran his thumb over the insignia, feeling like a child on Christmas morning.

"So I'm guessing that this is a...yes?"

Hotch laughed and said, "Of course."

Rossi stood up and sighed. "Well, I'll leave you alone...you've got a lot of paperwork to catch up on."

"Thanks...Dave? Don't tell the rest of the team...I want to do this on my own. Plus, they don't need the extra distraction."

"Distracted? Our team?" He stood up and walked to the door. "I don't know what you think of. Oh-" Rossi stepped over to the hallway and called out, "Hey, Allison."

With a tired smile, Allison stuck her head out of one of the bedrooms and answered, "Hey, Dave. Good night."

Rossi turned towards Hotch, grinning ear to ear. "So she's sleeping over…so have you two-"

"Good night, Dave," Hotch cut him off with a playful wave.

"Hey, you guys act like husband and wife already…you two just need to seal the deal-"

"Dave…."

"Alright, alright. I'm out of here. See you in the morning."

Hotch smiled as his friend left the apartment. _Yes...I'm definitely back._


	33. Chapter 33

**Flight to Atlanta, Georgia-2 Days later**

"Dave, what's up?" Morgan asked as the plane descended towards Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. The new Unit Chief had spent the majority of the flight keeping an eye on his phone, hoping to hear from Hotch. Thanks to a favor owed to Rossi from a woman in Human Resources, the paperwork for re-admittance took less than a day. Now all Rossi had left to do was to wait and hope that Hotch had a good first training day.

Rossi snapped out of his gaze and let out a, "Huh?"

"You've been spacey all morning. Something bothering you?"

"No...don't worry about me." He gave a Morgan a smile before turning his attention to the window. He thought before closing his eyes, _I hope Aaron is doing alright..._

**FBI Academy Delta 4-32 Training Field- Quantico, Virginia-Training Day 1**

Hotch closed the door to the SUV and stepped out into the field.

_I hope it's not Anderson. That wouldn't be good; _He thought as he dropped his bag on the ground and stretched his arms. The cold September breeze was oddly comforting to him; it reminded him of his first day at the Academy many years ago.

"Well, I'll be damned," he suddenly heard from behind his SUV. It was Peter Ho, the rude agent the team had encountered from Agent Camen's team. Ho stepped closer to Hotch, the arrogance of having a rematch with Hotch plastered all over his face.

_Just because you're my trainer doesn't mean that crap is going to fly with me, _Hotch thought, maintaining a stoic expression and a relaxed body stature.

"Aren't you supposed to be still in the loony bin?" Ho sniped. He spread his legs and crossed his arms, taking an authoritative general like stance.

Hotch smirked and responded, "No, sir." _Ah, the joys of following orders, especially someone that you technically outrank in experince. _

"Well, when I'm done with you I'm going to make sure that you wish that'd you'd never left QMC. You remember Falcon Peak, old man?"

_Let him have his fun. _"Yes, sir."

Ho smiled and directed, " It's five miles there and back. I want it done in forty minutes or you're done." He checked his watch and yelled, "Go!"

**34 minutes later**

Ho pulled out his phone and dialed Agent Dale, a friend keeping watch out for Hotch at the top of Falcon Peak.

"Hey," Ho grunted when he heard Dale mutter a curse word. He could also hear the strong wind through the phone- Falcon Peak was one of the first places trainers knew would break the weakest agents.

"How long was he in the psych ward?" Dale answered in awe after a slight pause.

"Eight months. He hasn't reached yet?"

"He reached here in 16 minutes, looking like it was nothing! No one reaches this point in sixteen minutes unless you're at the top of your game! Are you sure he was in psych ward?"

"Of course I'm-" His jaw dropped at the sight of Hotch running across the field. "You've got to be kidding me."

Hotch sprinted over to Ho's side and stopped his watch. He was only slightly out of breath. "34:45. Is that ok, sir?" Hotch asked in a slightly malicious manner.

Hotch watched Ho's face redden. _This is going to be fun. _

**FBI office- Washington D. C-Training Day 6**

"You have a suspect that crosses the state line, what do you do?" Ho asked Hotch while both men stood under a veranda, raining sloshing off of the veranda roof's edges. On that particular rainy day, Ho had decided that a review of basic rules of FBI procedural in the rain would be a way to try and break Hotch.

It wasn't working.

"Alert nearby FBI offices and keep hunting them down." Hotch flipped through the pages of a trainee manual and sighed, " Is there anything that you need to review with me that is actually pertinent to me passing my tests?"

"These are-"

"Basic questions. I've looked at my training session information and none of this stuff is included. I have years of experience, so let me ask you again; is there anything pertinent that you and I need to review?"

Ho backed down and muttered, "Not right now- you know what? I want two more miles out of you-Go!"

"Yes, sir," Hotch replied as he pulled his hood over his head. He then took off into the rain, running towards the National Mall. Ho watched him run smoothly and swiftly while feeling a sudden rise in admiration for the agent.

_He's good, _Ho thought, _He's really good. _

**FBI Quantico Office-Training Day 9**

_Knock,Knock. _

"Come in," Rossi called out, nonchalantly at the sound of light knocking on his office door. He expected it to be an intern or some office worker needing his signature for something.

He did not expect his entire team to enter and close the door to the office.

"Rossi, I heard the weirdest thing," Prentiss said, sliding into one of the guest chairs, "I went into the office this morning and a few analysts were talking about it being odd seeing Agent Hotchner around FBI grounds as of late."

"I see," Rossi replied, "And you all want to know if there's any truth to what these analyst were saying?"

Five silent nods, prompted him to continue, "Well, I'm not the one to speak for Aaron. If you're curious, just ask him."

"Well, you know something's up," Morgan stated, his eyes appearing to be searching Rossi's for an answer, "So just fess up."

_I made a promise to Aaron. _"Well, if I know all of you the way I think I do, I believe Penelope has already run a trace on Hotch and found him to be….."

"The Academy training ground, Hogan's Alley, right now…but what's he doing? Is he teaching a class now or what?"

Rossi turned his attention back to the pile of folders in front of him. "He's doing 'or what.'"

"Dave!"

"Come on, that's all you can give us!"

"Why can't you tell us? "

"Is Hotch ok? I mean I talk to him every day and he sounded alright…."

"What does you mean by "or what"?"

_They're acting like children. Yeesh. _"Alright, we're going on a field trip."

Garcia raised an eyebrow and leaned over to Reid. "We can do that?" she asked the youngest profiler.

"We're taking our own cars so parking lot in 10 minutes," Rossi directed before pointing towards his office door.

**FBI Academy-Hogan's Alley- Fifteen Minutes later**

"Alright, I want you to run the course again," Ho commanded when Hotch cleared the last "home" on the training ground. Hotch cocked his head in annoyance and exclaimed, "A third time….sir?"

"Of course. Unless this is too hard for you?"

_All that power is going to his head…. _" No, sir." Hotch stepped back and ran through his tactical equipment for the third time within the past three hours: an AK-47 and pistol with blanks, utility belt, flashlight, knife…..

Once he completed his checks and ignoring Ho's sudden sniggers, he turned around to find himself face-to-face with five very confused and angry team members and an innocent looking Rossi.

"You're recertifying?" Morgan asked with crossed arms.

_I'm going to kill Dave for this. _"Yes, but let me explain first."

"Go ahead."

"I've kept this from you all for the last four weeks," Hotch said quietly. The five pair of now hurt eyes made telling the truth so much harder. "Strauss came to me regarding my work that was put into the Bureau. Both her and the Director found that if I wanted to, I should be allowed to reapply for a Special Agent position within the Bureau and a spot back on the team. After taking that into consideration and the improvement I've made over the last eight months….."

"Oh my God…." Garcia gasped.

"I took the offer and I retest in 5 days."


	34. Chapter 34

"Why couldn't you have told us about the retest, Hotch?" Morgan asked harshly. He backed down when Hotch gave him a look that seemed to say, _With all the stuff you did in January, you really want to go there?_

"I didn't want to-" Hotch answered. Ho rolled his eyes and loudly butted in, "Hotchner, you have five seconds to finish up your conversation before I start the clock!"

"I did this because I didn't want everyone to be distracted or-"

"The five of you bearing down on him while he got ready," Rossi finished for him, "Go do your thing, Aaron. I'll talk to them."

"Hotchner! Go!" Ho yelled and Hotch gave his team an apologetic look before taking off into the course.

Forty minutes later and after three more trips through the course, Hotch walked over to his teammates, all waiting over by the SUVs. "Guys, I'm sorry. I just-"

"Rossi explained it….and we understand," Prentiss replied, "I'm happier that you're retesting."

"Thank you. Thanks for explaining it to them, Dave."

"Always a pleasure," Rossi pointed to the SUVs, "Alright, little ones, the field trip is over. Back to work."

**Saturday ,September 22 - FBI Academy- Hogan's Alley- Test Day**

"Ready?"

Hotch stood on empty field for the FBI Certification test, clad in a Kevlar vest and a jacket. The weather was just about forty degrees, also giving Hotch a clear day to test on. The physical test was to clear Hogan's Alley in an approved time. Behind him, Ho stood ready to test him with Rossi, who served as support. The rest of the team was at the office, on Rossi's orders.

"Set?"

Hotch loaded his firearm and started creating a tactical plan. He had done this course dozens of times over the past month. _You can do this. Let's go._

"Go!" Hotch sprinted towards the first part of the exam, clearing a bank during a "bank robbery." He chose to enter the maintenance door and found himself in a dark back room.

_Work back to front. You saw the blueprint- robbers would head straight for the safe which is towards the front of the bank. _He cleared the back room in less than a minute before moving onto the hallway. Suddenly, two shooting range targets popped up in front of him, which he took out in seconds.

Outside, Rossi kept glancing between his watch and the bank. Hotch was still fine with time, but with being out of commission for months, Rossi wasn't sure how Hotch was going to react to the chaos of an FBI testing range.

"There he is," Ho suddenly said at the sight of Hotch running over the second half of the test; clearing an elementary school. He disappeared into the building before emerging seven minutes later with a focused, calm expression. Hotch sprinted back towards Ho and stopped in front of the young agent. Ho clicked his stopwatch and checked his tablet screen, which had recorded everything that Hotch had done in both buildings.

Rossi and Hotch exchanged looks before Ho said, "Congrats. You passed."

Still catching his breath, Hotch said, "Thanks."

"Hotchner, I have to say," Ho's expression softened, " I know that I was rude to you during the case in Knoxville, but these past few weeks, you've impressed me beyond belief. I wish you the best." Ho reached out his hand for a handshake.

_Is this really Ho? _Hotch eyed Ho in confusion before taking the handshake. "Again, thanks."

Ho smiled and walked away; Rossi waited until the agent was out of ear shot before asking Hotch, "What did you do to him?"

Hotch laughed. "What makes you think I did something?"

"Because there's no way that Ho could be that nice."

"Ha, no, I didn't do anything," he patted Rossi on the back, "Come on, I have my psych evaluation in an hour."

**FBI Psychologist Dr. Arthur Jennings' office**

"Well, Mr. Hotchner, I can see you did well on the physical exam this morning," Dr. Jennings said as he flipped through Hotch's paperwork.

"Thank you."

"Let's see, I have your notes from Dr. Ames at Quantico Medical Center and he has recommend that you be cleared for both office and field work. Just for my own sanity," Jennings placed two photos of a crime scene that the team had worked on the week before, "Tell me what you see." He watched Hotch carefully, looking out for any flinches or emotional reactions that would mark uneasiness around death.

Hotch took the photo in hand. " I see two dead women with throats slashed in a dumpster. Whoever had done this, had no remorse whatsoever-he tossed them like trash."

"I see." Jennings took back photos and slipped them into a file. "Ok and how are your eating and sleeping habits?"

"Good. I haven't had a nightmare in awhile now. I'm sleeping and eating regularly."

"Mood?"

"Good. I'm doing well."

"Good." Jennings closed his file and smiled, "Well, I don't see anything that concerns me. I'm clearing you for both the field and the office. What time are you meeting with the Director?"

"5:45."

"Good luck."

**5:45pm- FBI Director's Office-Quantico, Virginia**

"Are you ready?" Rossi asked while Hotch straightened his tie. The younger man glared at Rossi. "Dave, if you ask me again, I swear-"

"Hey, I'm just nervous and excited for you, Aaron." Two agents walked past them with an awestruck gaze on Hotch. "Ignore them."

"Where's the team?" Hotch asked, "They said they would be here."

"About that…I tried to bury them in as much paperwork as possible to hold them off for as long as possible. I didn't want them to crowd you."

"And you're doing so much better?" Rossi rolled his eyes and looked over to see the rest of the team rushing over.

"We're here! We're here!" exclaimed Garcia. "Did we miss anything?"

"Nope. They haven't called me yet."

"Hotch, we wish you the best of luck," Reid stated.

"Thanks, Reid." Across from them, Strauss stepped out of the Director's office and called out, "Aaron? It's time." Hotch turned and caught one last glimpse of his hopeful friends before walking into the office to hear the outcome of his recertification.

**6:45pm**

"They aren't done yet?" exclaimed Garcia when she saw that they had been sitting outside the Director's office for an hour. JJ giggled and said, "It is not a speedy process, Penn."

"Well, did it take this long when you first applied?"

"That was through the Academy, not from an absence."

"It took about twenty books, Baby Girl," Morgan interrupted. Garcia shooed him and continued, "I don't hear yelling so that's good. Right?"

"That's good, Penelope." She smiled when Allison walked over to the group. "Am I late? Did I miss it?" she asked.

"Nope, he's still speaking with Strauss and the Director," Prentiss told her, "He passed the physical exam and he did well on his psych evaluations, right, Allison?"

"Well," Allison said, her cheeks suddenly flushing a bright red, "I don't have any access to his files anymore because….we're dating."

"I knew it!" Garcia exclaimed. She turned to Morgan, hand extended, "Pay up."

"You betted on us getting into a relationship?"

Morgan growled as he handed Garcia, Prentiss, and JJ twenty dollars each, " Yeah, but we betted on when and I said at least six months after Hotch left the hospital. He's usually not the one to do stuff like that."

"Hah, well people change. It's-Aaron?" Allison stopped when Hotch stepped out of the Director's office with a stoic expression. He approached the group slowly; Rossi clenched his jaw when the Director walked past the group without saying a word.

"Hotch?" JJ asked. He took a breath and said smiling, "Officially as of Monday, I am Special Agent Aaron Hotchner."

"Oh My God! I'm so proud of you!" Allison exclaimed, pulling him into a hug and kiss. JJ excitedly hugged a laughing Rossi while Morgan and Reid high fived. Garcia stood next to a smiling Prentiss, trying her hardest not to cry from the excitement.

"Thank you," Hotch said, "I wouldn't have done this without any of you. I mean that."

"It was mostly you, man," Morgan replied. Prentiss rubbed Hotch's shoulder and exclaimed, "We should go out and celebrate!"

"Somewhere nice, of course!" Garcia suggested.

Prentiss also suggested, "Ooh, How about Helena's in Annandale? It's a top classy pasta restaurant!"

"That sounds good, but I'll have to meet you guys there. There's somewhere I have to go first," Hotch said. He kissed Allison on the cheek and started towards the elevator. Rossi called after him , "Aaron-"

"I'm alright, it's just a necessary pit stop. I'll see you guys soon."

**Francis Cemetery- Haley Hotchner's gravesite**

An unusual light snowfall had started on the drive over to the cemetery. Visiting Haley's grave at that moment felt right to Hotch; he felt as if he owed it to her. Once he arrived, the agent walked quietly to the gravestone where only a touch of snow had covered the base of the gravestone.

"Hi, Haley," Hotch whispered, shivering with both hands in his coat pocket. " It just started snowing today; I know that you always loved when it snowed. I, uh, got recertified today, "he pulled out his brand new badge, " I'm only at a special agent level, but nonetheless, I got my job back. I start on Monday and I'm…..I'm really nervous. "

He swallowed and placed his badge back in his pocket. "I'm actually scared. I…I'm scared that I'll lose control again or that they'll be another Foyet. I know that I can do this, it's just…wish me luck. I hope that I've made you proud these last nine months and I know that you'll be watching over me and Jack."

He closed his eyes and smiled at the thought of Haley's smile. _I miss you so much, _he thought before he turned away and walked backed to his SUV.

**Helena's- Annandale, Virginia**

"There he is!" Morgan exclaimed at the sight of Hotch nearly an hour later. The team and Allison sat at a large table near the bar; Garcia and JJ were drinking margaritas, Rossi was half listening to Reid ramble about soda carbonation, and Prentiss, with Allison's aide, was admiring one of the bar tenders.

"You guys started without me?" he asked, chuckling. He sat next to Allison and wrapped an arm around her. She touched his cheek, "Of course not. We just got thirsty."

"I see," he scanned the group and with a smile asked, "So who's paying?"


	35. Chapter 35

**Monday-Quantico, Virginia**

"Whoa, what is all this?" Prentiss exclaimed as she stepped into Rossi's office. Rossi and JJ were watching in amazement as Garcia laid out baked goodies on the table next to Rossi's desk. Morgan was playfully batting a roll of ribbon with Reid, who was sitting on the floor next to him.

Garcia turned around with a crazed and delighted look on her face. " Hotch comes back today. So I decided to bake in celebration."

"Penn, baking a cake is for celebration," Prentiss stated as she approached the table. She counted two basket of muffins and three trays of cupcakes. " This is just- what were you baking on speed or something?"

"No, it was Garcia in full badass mode," joked JJ. She looked over to Rossi, who was stifling a laugh. "Hey, I bake in times of goodness and happiness. It was one of those days!" the technical analyst exclaimed. " Plus, if Hotch doesn't eat them, you all will. I saw you steal two cupcakes already, Rossi."

Rossi leaned back in his chair and gave her an innocent look. " I do not know what you speak of, but if I did, I would say that they were excellent, especially the cinnamon. "

"Ooh, cinnamon?" Reid asked. He looked up to the table and eyed a large cupcake with blue frosting. " I want one!"

"No, my boy wonder, not until Hotch gets here. "

"Hey, this can make up for when I got shot and you didn't bake me anything," Reid quirked as he pushed himself off the wall toward the cupcake. He grabbed it and landed back on his butt and bit into the cupcake.

"Kid, how is it?" Morgan asked. He tossed the ribbon into the air while Reid swallowed. " It's actually really good. Besides cinnamon, what's in it?"

"The magician never reveals her secret," Garcia answered. She put her hands in a position to catch the ribbon from Morgan, but heard a voice say, "Hey." She turned around quickly to see Hotch standing at the door with a black backpack over his shoulder.

"Hey, you. You're here," Garcia squealed. She walked over to Hotch and gave him a warm hug. He smiled and whispered, " Thanks, Penn."

JJ gave him a welcoming smile. " Welcome back, Hotch."

"Thank you. Thanks to all of you. It feels good to be back."

Prentiss smiled. " Good to have you back."

**The Next Morning**

_White male, educated, probably grew up in an abusive home…_Hotch read while leaning forward in his chair. He heard a giggle come from the desk across from him, which was Prentiss'. Reid and she was huddled over Reid's desk, giggling. Hotch stood up and walked over to them.

"That wouldn't work, Spence. We would have to go down the emergency escape-"

Hotch interrupted, " What are you two doing?"

"Huh? Oh hey, Hotch," Reid answered. He half expected Hotch to reprimand him even though he was no longer in charge.

"What's that?" Hotch asked, keeping an eye on the paper under Reid's hand.

"It's nothing- it's a little doodle that I made." Reid pushed the paper towards Hotch, who picked it up and eyed it. A relaxed expression came onto his face as he asked, " You guys are making an escape route out of here? Did you do this when I was the Unit Chief?"

"No, not escape routes persay….but you know- on those long days where we would do endless paperwork, we would doodle or do puzzles for breaks. Sorry."

"I'm not mad." Hotch gave the paper another quick glance before saying, " Emily is right, Spencer. You would have to take the emergency route, which would get you spotted by security cameras in a heartbeat."

"Ha! I told you!" Prentiss exclaimed as she leaned on her desk and looked to Hotch. " We never procrastinated or acted irresponsibly, Aaron. It's just….you know."

She narrowed her eyes and asked cautiously, " So…..what do you think we should do with our escape route- I say take the backroom stairs by Garcia's office." She half expected him to not responded, but he stated, " Believe it or not, I had my fun moments before I became Unit Chief. Strauss takes lunch around 2 every day so that would be the only time that one could take the back door without getting caught by her."

Prentiss laughed and exclaimed, " I like it. I have to say there is whole other side of you that I'm beginning to like." Suddenly they heard Rossi approach and say, " We have a case."

Reid looked up in surprise. " Seriously? "

"Yep, we have a case in Hazelwood, Missouri. All the other squads are away on cases so that means we're are up," Rossi stated, " They have a serial sniper that is on a rampage against working women. The police want us there as soon as possible so we will be briefed on the plane. Wheels up in thirty."

**Andrews Air Base**

Hotch sat down in the chair across from Prentiss and glanced out the window. As the rest of the team boarded the jet, he felt his mind wander back to the last time that he had been on the jet many months ago.

"Hotch?" Prentiss called out, crossing her legs and giving him a cheerful smile. "You alright?"

"Yeah- I'm ok," he answered softly. He returned a smile as Rossi sat down and put on his seatbelt. The new Unit Chief looked back to the old Unit Chief and asked, " Ready?"

Hotch nodded and answered, " I'm ready. I'd like to go over the case right now, if that's alright with you." _No need in being overly nostalgic- it's been awhile and I-we need to get down to business. _

"Alright," Garcia via webcam said, " So we have a spur of killings around the area where working women are being shot down via sniper rifle, specifically, a Barett M82. Police found that these women all work in higher up jobs like one woman owned her own company, another was the manager of the best clothing store in town, by the way- Jay and Emily, you should really check out the store if you get a chance-"

"Baby girl!" Morgan called out.

"Oh, sorry, Baby boo, pretty clothes distract me. Anyway, he does it in bright daylight in heavy populated areas where no one can see him."

"I'm thinking a male feeling emasculated since these women are all powerful professionals . Also, to know what these women do, he has to be able to watch them, stalk them even, so probably unemployed," Reid stated.

"He might be married-a man with sniper training like that, may be a veteran that isn't adjusting to coming home jobless with a wife that has more power than him," Hotch added. He narrowed his eyes in annoyance when everyone smiled at him as if he were a child and thought, _I know I was gone for a bit, but I'm not rusty!_

"That makes sense; he's calculated when he does these attacks. It's like he sees this as an actual military mission," Rossi stated, catching Hotch's annoyance.

"So something made him lose control. With the amount of veterans coming home with PTSD, that's going to be hard to match a profile."

"Well, the population of Hazelwood is less than 30,000 if that helps. Anything else my pretties, besides of course looking at all of the veterans in that town?" Garcia piped.

"No, dear. Thanks," Rossi thanked.

"Alright, come back home safe and happy, my pretties. Garcia, over and out."

**Lambert-St Louis Airport- 6 miles from Hazelwood, Missouri**

"Aaron?" Rossi called as the two men approached the two FBI issued SUVs sitting on the tarmac. Hotch turned and responded, "Yes?"

"Don't mind everyone- I think they're being super cautious and super giddy about your first case back. I have a feeling people are going to put you on a learning curve for awhile including the Hazelwood police department. Somehow, people know of what happened so just be prepared for anything."

"I understand," Hotch responded, " The last time I was on a case, it didn't end well. But Dave, can you please talk to them about the-"

"Puppy dog eyes? Yeah, I saw it too and I'll talk to them about it." Rossi opened the driver's side of the SUV and jumped in. Hotch entered as well and said, " I wonder if they think I haven't noticed it."

"Probably not." Both man smiled before following the SUV with the rest of the team towards the police station.


	36. Chapter 36

Hazelwood Police Department-27 Hours later

Morgan yawned before saying, "This is ridiculous. This guy is ballsy enough to kill people in broad daylight, but when we get here, he stops?" He sat in a small conference room with the rest of the team, all exhausted and frustrated. With the unsub stopping once word had spread of the FBI's arrival, the team had gotten nowhere in getting close to any suspects. The worst part was that they all knew that if they left without solving the case, the killings would start up again.

"I'm exhausted and I'm going to get coffee. Anyone want one?" Prentiss said as she walked to the conference room door. After, five "no", she walked out. Hotch saw her step into the bullpen through the window before suddenly she and five other officers suddenly pulled out their weapons and pointed them towards the front of the building.

"Prentiss?" he called before running towards her with the team right behind him. He stepped out and found a tall, red haired male standing in the police office entryway with a gun pressed against his temple. In the man's other hand was the Barrett M82. Hotch pulled out his weapon as the Chief of Police yelled out, "Put the weapon down!"

"No! I can't do the mission-I have to-I can't do the mission!" the man yelled out in a crazed, antsy daze. "I can't win-win against FBI-I-the mission-"

_He's definitely the unsub, _Hotch thought as Rossi yelled out, "Sir, we can help you! Suicide isn't going to help!"

"How the hell do you know? They'll come after me-I can't-"

_Do something! _"What's your name?" Hotch asked the man. The man flinched and stammered, "Declan Harden."

"Ok, Declan. I'm going to put my gun down and come over to you, just to talk. Alright?"

Declan pressed the gun harder against his temple before stammering, "Al-Alright, but I-I don_'t _trust you."

"That's ok," Hotch put his gun onto a table and took two steps forward, "My name is Aaron. Declan, I know you think suicide is the way out, but it's not worth it. Trust me, I know."

"I didn't get the mission done and I have to-they'll kill me-"

"The voices in your head aren't real. I know you may feel like they're right, but you need to ignore them. Did they tell you to kill those women?" Hotch took another two steps closer to Declan, placing him within reaching distance.

"Yeah, they said they'd destroy me if I didn't get the mission done!"

"If you put the gun down, we'll get you help that you'll need. It'll be hard, but you'll be safe and they won't hurt you anymore, I promise."

Declan's hand started shaking. "You swear?"

"I swear. Declan, give me the gun." Declan nodded before placing both guns into Hotch's hand. He started shaking as Hotch sat him down on a chair while the officers started preparing transport for Declan to go to a mental health facility.

"Have you ever done it?" Declan suddenly asked Hotch as they waited.

"Suicide?"

"Yeah."

"I tried it nine months ago. It wasn't worth it. You have a family, Declan?"

"A wife and a son."

"Well, one thing that helped me get through my problems was fighting day and night for my son. If you do that, the voices will be gone in no time," Hotch saw two officers stand by the door, ready to take Declan, " Take care of yourself, Declan."

As the two officers took Declan away, Hotch thought, _I guess that's another reason to be thankful that I failed at suicide. If I hadn't, Declan would probably be dead and not getting the help he needs. I'd call that a job well done._

"When journeying down the long dark road, we must continue on and never give up faith we'll one day reach our destination - no matter how ugly that road appears before the naked eye."

-Reed Murphy

**Quantico, Virginia**

Allison walked down the hallway towards Hotch's apartment later that night. She had just worked a twelve hour shift and wanted nothing more but to crawl into bed with her boyfriend, who had just arrived home from the case. She turned the doorknob, expecting an empty apartment, but froze when she found the team, JJ's son, Henry, and Jack in the living room.

"Jack?" Everyone other than Jack was sound asleep. Henry slept soundly behind the couch in a crib that JJ had brought over.

"Hi, Allison! We're watching the Lion King!" Jack slid from under his father's arm and bounced over to her. He almost knocked over an empty pizza box, located next to a drooling, sleeping Reid. Garcia was asleep on Morgan's shoulder. Rossi sat across from them with his head being supported up by his hand as he slept. JJ and Prentiss were sleeping on the floor in front of where Garcia, Morgan, and Hotch were sleeping. Hotch had fallen asleep while leaning back in his chair.

"Wow, they must be really tired. Since everyone is sleeping and it's only 8:00, how about we leave a note for your father and you and I go get some ice cream?"

Jack jumped and exclaimed, "Oooo, I want chocolate!" He grabbed his jacket off of one of the kitchen chairs and started bouncing up and down as Allison wrote the note for Hotch. Once finished, Allison took a quick glance at the sleeping group before following an excited six year old into the hallway.

Even as she walked with Jack, her heart warmed at what she had seen: all seven members of the team slept soundly as if everything around them was at peace.

Even the one who had fallen from grace- Aaron Hotchner- slept peacefully, with an expression on his face that outsiders rarely saw on the man.

A smile.

**The End.**

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**


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